My Journey through Motherhood

I have a girl crush ..

2012-01-23T16:50:00.000-08:00

on Katy Perry haha .. Just thought I'd throw that out there. :)

The girls have been feeling pretty good and have been eating really good. I can't believe that they are actually eating veggies. They are eating what is served at dinner. I make simple dishes like chicken, peas and carrots and potatoes but they are eating it.

The other night I made steak with Gemelli and broccoli and they ate the whole thing. It was nice to see them eat. It's not like I want them to clean their plates. I just want them to eat what they want. They always get a treat and we base that treat on what they eat. If they eat a little, then they get a fruit. If they eat good, we'll give them a little something sweet.

I've been feeling really good. More energized and happy. I do my makeup, fix my hair daily. Those two alone are huge changes. Today I added jewelry. Everyone noticed. It was just a necklace but you get the picture. Things are going so well.

My class. I haven't said much about them lately. They are so good. Yep. My group that I was sure would make my year suck. It was teamwork. We had to pull together and make it work. It took a lot of give and take, a whole bunch of repetition, a little discipline but we've managed to work things out.

They aren't perfect and some days I wanna pull my hair out (who wouldn't some days with 14 2 year olds lol) but I love them all to pieces.

It's funny how things work out ..

2012-01-15T09:15:00.000-08:00

Last night I decided to clean. Really clean. You know, the "pull out everything from under the bed, out of the closet, check and clean under every piece of furniture" clean. Yeah I got this idea at 7. I got the bedrooms done and even pulled out the girls area rug to throw it away. The dr thinks we should get rid of all carpets/rugs because of the girls' asthma. Thank goodness we have hard wood floors throughout the house.

Anyway when I was done with this I put the girls in bed and I went to bed to watch "Life As We Know It". Haven't seen it? You HAVE to watch it. So good. Well half way into the movie, I hear a little voice. "Mommy, can I lay in bed with you and watch your movie?". Sure why not. Well one thing led to another and we were giggling and doing our nails. It was so much fun and so natural.

After I finally got Katie to sleep (at the end of New Moon), I started thinking how different my life would of been had God answered my prayers. If you remember, I prayed for a boy or two boys and I begged and pleaded to Him not to give me two girls. Funny that at 26 weeks I found out God totally ignored me.

I can't imagine having boys now. I believe I truly got what I was meant to have. Two little girls. They love having their hair done, pretty dresses and cute shoes. They also love playing in the dirt with their favorite cars and trucks.

He knew my fears about being a mom to girls and I guess he knew better. We have a great relationship and we get closer the older they get.

In other news

Last night I broke my frickin' tooth. Well I didn't, the carrot did. Now I've known all along that I have a cavity in this tooth but I don't have dental insurance and dentists are expensive and I just kept putting it off. I'll sadly be going to see a dentist tomorrow morning, bright and early :( boo!

Sickness ..

2012-01-08T17:36:00.000-08:00

UGH

Girls are still sick. Katie has more of a cold than anything but Karly has a fever every other day. The doctor isn't sure if we should do antibiotics or not because it seems like a virus but then it seems like it might be bacterial. She wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic but told me to hold off. Her fever went away but she has a horrible cough. The dr mentioned that the left side of her chest sounded very coarse and that her cough wasn't good.

So she has no fever but a bad cough. I have to call tomorrow to see if we start the med. I'm not sending her to school tomorrow because I have no idea if she's well or not.

A month ago I caught a cold and I haven't been able to get rid of it. It sucks big time and I'm ready to start feeling better.

However, I'm almost off the xanax. I had to take one the other day but I had gone without one for over a week.

I'm going back on a diet tomorrow. Should be loads of fun. 35 pounds is my goal but I'll take 5 :)

Something I've wanted to blog for a while ..

2012-01-04T09:24:00.000-08:00

I've written a post like this one a few times then deleted it because, well I don't know, I was afraid it would sound like a bunch of babbling but I think I'm gonna write it and actually post it ..

Childhood.

When I was growing up I thought I had a pretty awesome childhood. Grew up in the country, on a farm. Could go anywhere my feet could take me. Long bike rides down the dirt road. Leaving home in the morning and running home at lunch to scarf down a hotdog and some kool-aid before disappearing again and coming in covered in dirt when it got dark. Eating dinner and taking a swim in the tub before getting ready for bed. Those were the days. It didn't matter that my dad obviously had something wrong with him that made him cranky all the time and my mom seemed depressed all the time.

As I got older and my mom had more kids, I had more responsibilities. I had to take care of the younger two, go to school and do my chores but life was still pretty awesome.

It wasn't until I got older (12) and my parents split and I had to decide between the two that things seemed to change. Do I want to stay with my dad and continue my life in one place or move to another place and be with my mom and siblings? In the beginning I didn't get a choice. My brothers moved in with my dad and me and my sister moved with my mom. Then my mom moved us to IOWA (hate that state) and I started wondering if I was really happy.

I rebelled and started hating everything about my life. I would watch what other people had and would hate that I didn't have it. I went to live with my dad and then ran away to live with my mom and eventually didn't live anywhere. Just stayed with whoever or whatever friends mom said I could. I managed to graduate with my grandparents help.

I moved way too far away to go to this college knowing I didn't have what it took. No car, no money, no job but what the heck right? I'd lived through this "horrible" childhood I could do anything. I tried. I failed. I went home to welcome arms. Wait. What?

I'd just left all these "horrible" people that ruined my life and they were just waiting there for my to come home when I needed to. I'd ran away from my mom and my dad in the middle of the night with just a note on my pillow each time. Never bothering to call.

Each time I ran off to do something stupid (like moving 2 hours away to live with my true love that eventually dumped me, leaving me alone in a strange place) they would just welcome me back.

I started seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. I was angry about everything and eventually attempted.. well we'll leave that poor lapse in judgement be. Eventually I felt better and moved back home. That's when I decided to give college another try. I did another semester and moved back home but this time I'd met this wonderful guy that went by the name Donald.

I helped my mom take care of the kids when she found out she had 25+ tumors in her uterus. I started working at a daycare (found out that I finally was really good at something) but I was still miserable.

I was only too happy when Donald asked me to come live with him. I broke my parents hearts and left my siblings to move 1100 miles away to "Live my dream" and you know what? They let me go. They wanted me to stay but they wanted me to be happy.

Now that I'm a mom I've learned a few things ..

My parents always did what they thought was best
I was a pain in the ass
I've always been loved
I did actually have an awesome childhood
I am all that I am because of my family
My parents really did know everything and I didn't know as much as I thought I did

When I look back now I don't see the hard times only the good. My parents tried to give us a good life even if it didn't seem like it. They did what they could with what they had and at times it wasn't very much.

Those little conversations ..

2012-01-02T06:27:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting on the living room floor with Karly and I hear from the bathroom ..

"Mommy! I got some pee on my panties"
"Okay Katie, I'll be right there just take them off"
"But Mommy I peed on my underwear"
"I know Katie, I'll be right there"
"But Mommy they are wet and I pooped in my pajamas"

She then comes running in the room with her pants around her ankles.

"Mommy, I peed in my underwear and pooped in my pajamas."
"Katie, get back in the bathroom"
"But Mommy, I got poop on my finger."

Yeah .. lol

New Years Eve..

2011-12-31T17:46:00.000-08:00

We went out to dinner tonight. It was very nice. We haven't been out for awhile. The girls sat in the chairs. No high chair or booster. That took a little getting used to haha. They sat like little ladies and even put a napkin on their lap like mommy did. It was cute. Karly stole my knife when I turned to help Katie and when I tried to get it back she moved her arm away from me. Donald tried to grab it and she nearly stabbed herself in the face. Scared the crap out of us. I got her to give me the knife by using a line from my parents "If you don't give it to me now, we are going into the bathroom and you're getting a smack on the butt." She gave me the knife then yelled at the top of lungs "You're not my best friend anymore mommy!". At least she no longer had the knife.

I had to take the girls to the dr for a horrible cough. She told me it was because of household cleaners and she gave them steroids. Tonight Karly has a 102. I called her on call line like she told me too and still haven't gotten a response.

We are letting the girls stay up as long as they will and tomorrow we are hoping they are sleeping in. Donald has to work and my mother in law is going to watch them so I can go shopping with a friend. Nothing like a little retail therapy to start the New Year :)

Happy New Year! Have a safe and fun one!

More changes..

2011-12-28T14:46:00.000-08:00

I've started noticing the changes in myself.

I am still having trouble starting the day but I'm never ready to end the day. I used to be so exhausted by the end of the day that I didn't want to be bothered and I'd go straight to bed. I have more energy.

I am happier. Nothing seems to bother me nearly as much and the nerve everyone seemed to enjoy jumping on seems to of numbed or something.

I no longer want to leave my husband. This was something I had a lot of trouble coming out with. I wanted a divorce. I thought I no longer loved him. I didn't know if it was because I was going through so much on the inside and he never understood or seemed to try to help or what but I thought a divorce was the best option. Now that I feel better I can't believe I thought that. He knows what I was thinking. I'd said it to him many times. He's stayed strong and loyal and I love him for that.

Peace ..

2011-12-25T13:12:00.001-08:00

Today I miss my family but I realized something ..

That heavy weight is gone. Today is beautiful. It's not just Christmas. I feel like someone else. My old self.

Yesterday we went to my best friends house. We've gone there for Christmas Eve since I've moved here. She has two kids, I have two kids. We cook, we open gifts, we have a little wine, we laugh, we just have fun. Last night was no different.

We baked cookies with the girls and made these great snowballs (rice krispie balls rolled in powdered sugar). We had tons of food. I played Twilight with my "Niece" and another friend. I won, of course, lol.

The kids played Dance Party or some kind of dance game on the Wii. The girls had no idea what they were doing but with all the giggling it didn't even matter.

This morning they opened their gifts. We got them those Figits that are way overpriced but that was the hit of the day. They like their LeapPads but not as much. They like the baby crib and their slippers.

It's been a very good day.

Merry Christmas and I hope everyone reading has a blessed New Year.

This might be long .. :)

2011-12-20T17:32:00.000-08:00

You can't say I didn't warn you :) I thought maybe I should update my blog on how my girls are doing since this blog is technically about them.

Katie

Wow. Katie has some personality. She's very strong willed, stubborn, extremely bright and funny .. well most of the time SHE thinks she's funny. She has started with the "I don't love you anymore .. " That's always awesome to hear. Her two favorite songs are "Moves like Jagger" and "Red Solo Cup" I know I know, I'm an awesome mother haha. She heard the Jagger song on tv and started dancing to it. It was so funny we just kept playing the song and now she can sing the chorus. It's so funny. I love "Red Solo Cup" so that's how she caught one. She walks around singing "Red solo cup, I lift you up, lets have a party... mommy what do we do at the party?" haha

She's also picked up on a few accidentally used words. One night I was in a particularly bad mood and Karly spilled her milk on the rug. I said "Are you F** kidding me?" under my breath and Katie heard it and repeated it. A few days later I was coming her hair before school and she saw the new bottle of soap on the sink and said "Mommy, why is the F** soap blue?" I was stuck between mortified and laughing my butt off. I don't think it's cute for kids to curse and after we had a talk, she hasn't used it again, thank goodness, but it's reminded me that my little sponges don't miss a thing.

She's learning Spanish and sign language. She's picking it up very quickly. Something new for us is when we say a word she tries to tell us what letters she hears in the word. She gets the first letter right 100% of the time and tries for the others. She has had no behavioral issues lately at school. No hitting, so that's good. I was worried that what was going on with me was going to have an effect on her. She's always been my little shadow. I can tell it has but it's not something we can't work through. She gets nervous when I'm around. Like she doesn't know if I'm in a good mood or not. Tonight I was laying in bed and she walked in. I asked her to come snuggle with me. She laid with me but then started licking me. I asked her to stop, she kept going. I moved her away from me and she just looked at me then she stopped and then we snuggled again for a minute then she left. I felt bad but that's yucky. She's also doing things for extra attention. Like when you ask her to do something or a question she'll give you the word that rhymes or some made up word as an answer. I asked her what she learned at school today she said "Red is Azul!" Nowhere near correct and she never told me even though she knows. I don't know.

She is really excited for Christmas. She can't wait to open presents.

Karly

My second one .. born 5 minutes later :) Karly is that child you see out in the field picking flowers and chasing butterflies. Never bothers you for anything. She's so bright, sweet and a bit shy. She is also very sensitive. She doesn't really play with anyone but she has "friends". She's not really a joiner but wants to be included in a little way. She has a good heart and it breaks easily. I don't know how many times I've seen "that look" lately. The one that says "You just hurt my feelings" and it's for everything. She's also been having a lot of accidents. She seems fine, happy. She is sleeping good. She has a bad cold. I just wonder if that has something to do with it.

I can't believe how sweet she is. She is always polite. Please, Thank You .. all of them. Tonight I sneezed she said "Bless you" and I replied "Thank You" and she replied "You're Welcome." That's just how she is. She gives the best hugs. At least I think so. I'm the only one she'll actually hug. It makes it all the more special. She has never repeated a bad word. It makes me wonder. The other day they were learning the letter F. She said "Forks" and the teachers thought she said .. well you know. The called me and I said she's saying forks. The agreed. Had it of been Katie, well I'd of though she actually said something else.

Karly just seems so grown up and still babyish at the same time. She still has her chubby cheeks, the soft curly hair, her little nose but her mannerisms are not baby. The way she sits, the way she eats, her speech, the way she looks at you. She's got a great heart. I love watching her with her babies. She is so gentle with them. She takes very good care of them.

She is also excited for Christmas as well. I think this one will be the best yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me

Tonight I did dinner and then went to lay down. My body is aching. I'm tired. Christmas is coming. I'm so conflicted about Christmas. I should be happy I get to spend it with my husband and my girls but I want my mom and my dad brothers, sisters nieces nephews grandparents ..

I have the song ".. Home is where i want to be on Christmas and home is so many miles away.." stuck in my head. It breaks my heart. I haven't seen my family on Christmas since Dec '99. I'm getting stuck in that instead of where I should be.

So tonight I went to bed and cried for a minute then got up. Gave them a shower, vitamins brushed teeth combed hair and then my girls and I sat next to the Christmas tree in the dark and looked at the lights. We talked about the star and the colors and what we would do Christmas morning and then we went up to bed. It was a very sweet moment. I'm where I need to be.

My Blessings .. (no particular order)

My kids
My husband
A roof
A car
A job (I love!)
My kids have food, clothes and good health
My huge family.. although they are spread out and not where I can see them, I know in my heart they think of me often and want me with them every bit as much as I want to be with them and that is enough for now.

New York Adventure

2011-12-12T14:58:00.000-08:00

We took the path train to 33rd street. We walked to the Macy's. Their window display this year was a bit weird. I remember my first trip it was Miracle on 34th Street. This year it was these white puppet ladies. No idea what they were about and there were too many people waiting to read all the writing on the windows but it was still fun to watch.

This was another window. The other side of Macy's has "Yes, Virginia" as a theme but I didn't get any pics and it was getting dark.

The New Year Ball. The picture didn't come out very pretty but it was blue and sparkly in the sun.

The girls and Times Square.

The tree.

We actually made it right up to the tree. There were so many people. Katie loved the ice skaters. I didn't get a pic of that either.

Katie was so excited to go to the NHL store. By the time we got there she was passed out. We woke her up and she picked out a rangers key chain. Karly stayed asleep.

We saw this as we were headed down to the subway. I just happened to look up and it really touched me. I had to stop and take a picture. It's on the Macy's building. It's huge.

There were three things we didn't get to do. 1. Go into Macy's. I love going up to the 7th floor. They have the original escalator and it's made of wood and it's rickety. Love it. 2. Buy an ornament. We always go to their christmas department and buy an overpriced ornament. 3. Go into the Hard Rock Cafe and buy a shot glass for a special someone.

We had a great time and now that we know how easy it is to get them in and out of the city I'm sure we'll be going back once it warms up. Our next goal is Central Park and the Central Park Zoo.

New York City

2011-12-11T17:14:00.001-08:00

This morning we got up and dressed and took the girls to see the tree for the first time.

We drove the 10 minutes to Hoboken, parked in a garage and walked the three blocks to the path train and took the 12 minute train ride to the city.

It's really a shame we haven't done it before now. It's got to be a sin to live so close so such a remarkable place and never go. There is nothing like new York city at Christmastime.

I will post more and pictures such tomorrow.

We knew this wasn't going to get better overnight, right?

2011-12-09T20:51:00.000-08:00

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ..

Okay So I was feeling pretty good on Monday. Almost passed out twice on Tuesday. Why? Because I was feeling so "normal" that I skipped the Xanax.

In my defense, I've felt lousy for so long that the second I didn't, I assumed I was better. That I was back to normal. I didn't realize that I was feeling better because of the meds.

I started taking them again on Wednesday, three times a day and the Paxil at night (Never stopped that) and I am still feeling pretty good. That is until I get home.

The car ride home is more than I can take. The girls fight, they yell, they are both talking at once .. After work I need a few minutes of quiet. So I talk to them about their day, or try to.

I can be honest, right? I don't care how their days are right now. I only care that we survived it. I hug them when I pick them up and look them over, I kiss them. I ask the teacher how their day was and then I'm done. I don't care about anything else. I don't want to hear about anything else. I half listen to their chatter/fighting/yelling/crying with clinched teeth and twice I've put in my earbuds and listened to music from my ipod. Now I feel horrible, but it's still true.

When we get home I try really hard to stay in the same room but I end up walking about to hide in the bedroom. Just for a few minutes. Donald makes dinner or his mother does. We eat together. I give them a shower, get them dressed and put them in bed. I go through the routines but I don't feel it.

I know I love my kids and see how this is affecting them. It is. It really is. Katie has a horrible attitude. Karly cries all the time for every little thing. Katie tells us she doesn't love us anymore. She tells her daddy "I don't like you". She clings to me and cries for no obvious reasons. Karly sucks her thumb and starts crying over the smallest things.

This is hurting my kids and I can't stop it. I can't make myself be who I want to be. The words "Think about finding a psychiatrist" came out of my drs mouth. He may be right. He probably is right.

I would give anything to be my old self. The self that stood strong and survived my childhood. The self that has everything that matters in life. The self that used to want to spend every single moment with her children because they were the most important part of her life.

...and I've lost almost 20 pounds in the last 2 weeks :(

When will I be me again??

I feel human ..

2011-12-03T18:07:00.000-08:00

One day at a time. Some times are up some are down but progress is what's important. This morning I woke up anxious. Donald has been working every single weekend. One of my issues was that I can't get a break.

I get up with my 2 in the morning, drop them off in their classroom then walk to my classroom and await my 14 other children. I spend all day with those 14 then walk to the girls classroom and get my 2 then go home where I make dinner and get them cleaned up, in bed and then I get quiet time to get ready for the next day.

On the weekends, Donald goes to work and I have my 2 all day by myself. Never a break from answering to "Mommy" or "Ms. Tina". I have kids 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

However, I've realized I don't want a break from the life I wanted. I've just been feeling overwhelmed. I like my life. I love my kids (all 16 of them) and I love my job.

Tonight I actually had an idea to take the kids to the light festival at the zoo. There were some animals out and lots of lights. I did take a 3.5 hour nap this afternoon with the girls. The Xanax makes me really sleepy. When I woke up, I didn't go for the pills. I told Donald my idea and he said lets go. I didn't have any anxiety about leaving the house. I didn't have to talk myself into it. We just got ready and went.

And we had fun. The kids didn't irritate me. That's another thing. Everything the girls were doing was getting under my skin. Every time they said "Mommy" I would cringe. It wasn't them exactly, it was the fact that I just wanted to be left alone. I didn't feel any of that tonight. I haven't had any Xanax since this morning and I got them dressed for bed and still didn't feel anxious.

I am getting better. :)

Paxil, Xanax, music and sleep..

2011-12-02T10:30:00.001-08:00

Those 4 things combined are making life smooth. Yesterday I was so sleepy but I felt peace. I was able to concentrate and focus. I smiled because I wanted to. I fell asleep at 8 and woke up at 6 still feeling pretty good. I only took half a Xanax this morning. Not the best idea but I'm still okay. Im supposed to use the Xanax as a helper not to become dependent on it.

I'm looking forward to the weekend. We have nothing planned so that will be nice.

Not a good day ..

2011-11-29T18:26:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning not feeling so well. I picked up myself up and bed, showered, got the girls ready.. you know, the usual.

I dropped them off in their room and went to work. I kept breaking out into a sweat. It was so difficult to do what I needed to d. It was obvious to me that I was having anxiety attacks. During the day, they kept getting worse. I asked the nurse if dropping a bunch of weight quickly could make one feel unsteady. I've lost 10 pounds since last week :(

She asked me to eat something so I did. At 330 I bent down to remove one of the kids art smocks. I stood up and something was wrong. I called for my assistant and todl her something wasn't right. About ten seconds later, I was passed out on the floor. 911 was called and I was taken by ambulance to the hospital.

After blood work and an EKG it was determined that I most likely had a severe anxiety attack causing my body to shut down. Scary as hell.

I'm in bed tonight. They gave me the highest dose of xanax to combine with my paxil and the girls are having their first sleep over at my friends house. I miss them but I think all the meds are keeping my anxieties about that a bay.

ugh

OH, There's the sun ..

2011-11-26T10:47:00.000-08:00

Things seem brighter. Much brighter.

The medicine still needs time to build up to take affect but I've come to terms with myself and we decided to do one day at a time. I've rediscovered my love for music. I even put some songs on my iPod. Something I haven't taken time to do. Actually I haven't taken the time to do anything for myself in a long time.

I only have about 10 songs on it but that's enough. One song I'm in love with right now is "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" by Iron and Wine. I heard it in a movie and the lyrics are weird but the melody is beautiful and it's relaxing.

I'm also back into reading. This isn't one I gave up but it's taken a back seat to life. It's something I enjoy doing and I'm going to do.

This morning wasn't a bad one. Yesterday was worse. Donald has been working during my break from work so I've had the girls. Yesterday I went to a friends house so I wouldn't be alone with the girls but I go so anxious we came home early and we all took a nap. Today I had to take Karly to the dr. She has a sinus infection and an ear infection but she's on meds now so she will feel better soon.

I was able to leave the house and I didn't feel anxious that much. When I did I just focused on music and I felt better. Music was always my go-to when I was younger and needed to find a calm.

I'm taking my friends 11 year old (my adopted niece) to see Breaking Dawn this afternoon. I promised her mother I'd cover her eyes when they needed to be.

Tomorrow the girls are getting their Christmas photos done :) I'm not crazy about their dresses but they look cute and I wanted to get functional dresses this year instead of paying crazy prices for something they'll wear once, like I do every year :)

Okay so for today the sun is shining, I'm smiling and life isn't so bad.

Charting progress

2011-11-22T13:59:00.001-08:00

Today I took a mental day. My friend came and picked the girls up for school and Donald went to work. I had 9 hours of peace and quiet. I watched movies, talked to a few friends.. You know ME things.

It was a pretty calm day. I wasn't able to keep food in my stomach so today was day four of that but I did find comfort in a few cups of hot tea. I had a few anxiety attacks but nothing crazy. I know it will take time but all will be better.

**Lane Family I can't find your blog anymore :(.

I've been dx .. what do i do now?

2011-11-21T15:29:00.000-08:00

Okay things have been going downhill. Fast. I still hadn't sought treatment for those feelings I was having .. until today.

Something happened at work between my boss and I. She wants me to switch lesson plans around. This weekend was a bad one for me. Spent most of it in bed. Didn't want to be a mom or a wife. Couldn't eat. Woke up feeling worse.

I turned and looked at her then shut the door in her face. Everyone that knows me knows I am NEVER disrespectful. It's not in blood. I can't disrespect anyone and I won't. Today I did and I did it with as much of myself as I could and I as soon as I got to my room, a sub came in because I was to report to the office asap.

My boss said I looked at her with no emotion and that I should go to the dr and seek treatment. I yelled at her. I've been trying to get off work for months now to go.

I have PPD. I was dx when the the girls were 6 months or so I believe and I took the meds for the month but felt better.

I know I've been off for awhile but I consider myself strong. I can take it. I put it in my huge "bucket" and carried it around. I know my old therapist would say "Your bucket tipped today, huh?" I started crying. I cried most of the day. I left the girls at school and went to see "Breaking Dawn" (which I LOVED btw and Eclipse is my FAVE!).

*and NO I won't be waiting in no crazy lines ;)

I know I'm a good mom and I know I'm a good teacher. I assume that what happened with V and his arm might of pushed me off the edge. I'm on a larger dose of meds than I've ever been on but I trust my dr.

I just want to feel myself again. I'm so over this depression thing.

OMG .. The Twilight Saga..

2011-11-19T13:45:00.000-08:00

How was I not informed on how great these books are?? Well I'm almost through Twilight but I'm assuming they just get better?!

My infatuation, if you will, started last Wednesday night. On Wednesday nights, I stay up way past my bedtime to watch "American Horror Story" (so good!) and it comes on at 10. The week before, I fell asleep and Donald woke me up at 10 and I was groggy and sleepy and didn't really pay attention to the show so this week I was determined to stay up.

I was flipping through the channels and stopped on FX (the channel AHS is on) and Twilight was starting. I decided to stop on that because as soon as it was over my show would be on.

Okay first, yes the acting is a bit off. I can't even lie and say I loved the acting. However, I loved the story. I wish it went into it a bit more but it was a good movie. I enjoyed it. My friend suggested I read the books. I downloaded Twilight to my Nook and wow, I'm impressed. I love the book. It goes into so much detail. Tomorrow I'm going to watch New Moon and Eclipse and then next weekend I'm going (alone!) to watch Breaking Dawn :)

So excited :)

How in the world have these girls only been in my life for 3 years??

2011-11-14T17:25:00.000-08:00

Three years isn't a long time but if feels like they've been in my life forever. I was looking through photos today, the girls each need photos for an upcoming art project at school, and I realized a few things.
1. I take a lot of pictures.
2. They've had a pretty awesome three years.
3. Time is going really fast.

I look at a certain photo, like my new header photo and I think "I remember everything about that day." I do. We were getting ready to go out to dinner with a really good friend so she could meet the girls for the first time. It was three years ago but I remember the day like it was yesterday.

I think we took a picture of everything. There are photos of almost every single day they've been alive. Silly pictures like a picture of Katie and the tower of blocks. I was so excited she built tower 6 blocks high, I took a picture. One day she was teething on a toy but she looked so darn cute I took the photo.

We also took pictures of everything we've done as a family. They've done a lot. I think we've done more with our kids than my parents ever did with us. In every photo they look like they had so much fun and that makes me feel proud. Like we are doing a good job at this parenting thing.

Time is going to so fast though. In just three years they've gone from infants to these little girls with huge personalities. They talk like little adults. They are silly and such great sense of humors and are just so much fun. They are loving and caring and funny and yes, sometimes a bit stubborn and bratty, but I am so proud of the little ladies they are turning into.

Fridays Show and Tell theme is "Thanksgiving". I couldn't think of any suggestions so I asked Katie "Kate, what you are thankful for?" Thinking this would be a good idea. She replied "I'm thankful for all my dolls, mommy." Okay. "Karly, what are you thankful for?" In her sweet, sweet voice she replied "I'm thankful for my Mommy and Daddy." Awwwww!!!!

So I asked her if she wanted to take a picture of her family for show and tell and she said yes :) Katie? Well we are still working on that.

There was no point in this post but to talk about my girls and how much happiness they've brought to my life. I am so very thankful that I get to be their mommy.

Katherine and Karly, I love you so very, very much.

I'm the worst.person.ever.

2011-11-13T17:32:00.000-08:00

There's a two year old that had surgery this morning having a pin placed in his arm after breaking it under my care.

Yes children fall. Yes children get hurt. Yes sometimes they break bones, bust lips and bump heads.

This is my first broken bone in 12 years.

Friday afternoon we went on the playground. One of the other teachers brought a little boy named L over to me. He had bumped into another child and had a bruise on his face. As I was attending to him, another one of my children fell off of the dinosaur. I didn't see but another staff member did.

Rules state that if you see a child get hurt you are responsible for doing first aid, alerting the nurse and filing the accident/incident. Being that I was already dealing with one injury and didn't see the second, the staff member checked him out and sent him to me. I was sitting with an ice pack on L's face and V came over crying and sat in my lap.

He sat there for a few moments and got up and ran off. I assumed he was okay. A 100 children (including Karly) have fallen off the dinosaur. It's a small plastic sit on toy.

V is normally an emotional child and does cry a lot. He wants milk, he cries, he wakes up from nap crying, someone gets picked up he walks over them crying. The director walks in he starts crying .. you get the point.

When we came in, I had a child P, that was having some behavioral issues. I was trying to deal with P not listening, V crying and I had to write L's report and do music, notify the nurse the report was written and parents were picking up. It was stressful. V was still crying off and on, nothing crazy. Nothing that made me think he was in pain. When I asked him what was wrong, he just said "I want Mommy".

His mom came in and I told her he fell but didn't see to have any injuries but just needed some extra TLC. She said that she'd give him some milk and he'd be okay.
She came back in a few minutes later and said that she forgot her keys. She got her keys and left.

Apparently while she was in the car, she noticed his had was swollen. Something I don't remember even looking at.

I got the call Friday night that he was in the hospital with a significant fracture. I waited all day Saturday and all day today but hadn't heard anything. I could barely function I was so worried about him. I found out tonight that he's okay and he'll be back in school on Wednesday and the mom is upset but understands children fall and just wants to know what happened. I totally understand.

Tomorrow will be a lot of report writing and meetings but it could of been a ton worse. I thank God that V is going to be okay.

I must say ..

2011-10-31T17:02:00.000-07:00

That I'm very proud of my class today.

We had a Halloween Parade today at the school. My 2 year olds were expected to hold onto the walking rope and not let go, even when they see their parents. We don't actually expect this of them. How could you? However, it's what we tell them we want. We go over it every day leading up. I went out holding my breath. "Okay everyone, wave and say "Happy Halloween" .. and guess what they did? They held on and said Happy Halloween. Wait, What?? Yep. They did it. They followed directions. I was so happy. This was a huge accomplishment. My husband who came to watch the girls, said my class was so well behaved he doesn't know what I'm complaining about. Ha ha..

They were really good all day. I'm so happy about this.

Katie is doing so much better. Just a minor cold. Karly started running a temp yesterday but I didn't want her to miss the parade so we dosed her with Motrin and sent her to school and as expected she was sent home with 102. Bad mom I know but Halloween only comes once a year and SHE knew everything she was going to miss. When I got her home she asked if we were trick or treating and I took her temp it was 104. I gave her motrin and watched her run around yelling Trick or Treat. Once her fever broke, we bundled her up and walked around the neighborhood. It was much easier to get away stuff when they were younger.

They got a lot of candy and had so much fun. We made the mistake of going up to a house (light was on) and knocked. No one came out so I said "Lets go. No one is home" Katie started crying lol. She's so sensitive.

Hope everyone had a great Halloween :)

So this weekend I've had my first ever snow storm in October. We got about 4 inches and trick or treating around the snow was a first as well. The girls loved it and asked to make a snowman but I had to explain that it was wet heavy snow not good for making snowmen. We also had our first power outage. Entertaining the girls during our day of darkness was pretty easy. We went to a friends house, we carved pumpkins and when it got really dark we played flashlight dancing on the ceiling. About 8, we got ready for bed and we all went to sleep. It was getting cold anyway so what better way to get warm than in your comfy bed. We even colored by candlelight. It was fun day.

Something new...

2011-10-27T14:54:00.000-07:00

So I've learned how to blog from my phone. Not sure how it will go but don't have a lot of time so this is a good a way as any. Work today was so horrible. I love my job but this year the children are difficult. You know that scene in toy story 3 where they toys are hiding and then the kids come in and it's chaos? Welcome to my room. They spend more time throwing toys and ripping books and tearing stuff off the walls than they spend doing anything else. You give them art to do they rip the paper and dump out the glue blow the pieces on the floor ugh :(. You open and book and their eyes roll back and they drown it out with screaming over me or getting up to run around. Its just awful. Everynight I go to bed thinking about new ways to go at it tomorrow and I walk in to work ready to take them on and I walk out defeated at the end of the day.

I don't know. I just start feeling like a failure by Friday. Tomorrow I'll buck up and go back to work an just try to survive the day. Did I mention I have a kid who vomits all the time? He just sits there burps and then pukes. I know it's not his fault but I have to stop and clean it up bit the kids don't sit and let me. Its not my first walk in the park you know?

I'm not sure what I can do but I know I'm looking forward to august.

One of those weeks ..

2011-10-21T19:10:00.000-07:00

First off .. Happy Halloween!!

On Wednesday, I picked up the girls from school as I usually do. Katie came up to me and literally climbed in my arms. I thought she felt warm but didn't really about it until I got home. When I got home, I made dinner and when she laid on the couch and refused to eat, I thought I should take her temp. It was 101.2.

I didn't think much about it. Thought she had your average virus. I gave her some Tylenol, she drank a little milk and we tucked her in. At 1 am she woke up crying for me. I picked her up and right away you could feel she was burning up. We took her temp and it was 103.9. I gave her some Motrin and we sponged her down. When her temp was down to 101, we put her in our bed and went back to sleep.

A friend said she'd watch Katie for me so I dropped her off with Motrin and Tylenol and the usual stuff and went to work. When I picked her up, my friend said she hadn't eaten, drank any fluids or used the potty and all she did was sleep. When I got her in the car I realized she was unresponsive. She just laid there. When I did get her to talk to me, she was slurring her speech. I called the pediatrician immediately and told her what was going on. She directed us to the the ER.

We got her to pee in a cup and it was brownish so we knew something wasn't right. Her temp was 103 something but the hospital was able to bring it down with 2 tsp of Motrin. She drank some water and was dx with a UTI and we were sent home. We filled the medicine and went home. She ate a little and we went to bed. She woke up at 3:30 crying she was going to fall. I took her temp and it was 103.3. I called the ER to see what I should give her. They said 2 tsp of Motrin every 6 hours. I went back in the room and took it again and it was 104. She was shaking and crying. We gave her the meds and a sponge bath and cooled her down. When we got up in the morning, she was still running a fever. My friend was going to watch her for a few hours until I could take her to the dr. My friend called and said she was worse. I left worked and picked her up and took her to the dr. My friend said her temp was 98.8 but in 20 minutes it was 104.2. At the drs, they gave her some motrin and a few sips of water. She took it and then vomited everywhere. She wouldn't move.
We took her to the ER again. There they took her temp and set up and IV. They tested her urine again and her blood. They told me they were worried she had sepsis (sp). I've never seen my child this sick and it was so scary. They got the blood work done and started her on fluids and an antibiotic through the IV. She laid there and watched tv and you could slowly see the life coming back into her.

After about 3 hours of being on the IV, she was up eating some applesauce. She wouldn't drink anything but that was okay. Soon she was her chatty, active self. She was saying her colors in english and spanish, counting, showing off all her "skills" she was just back to normal.

They gave me the good news that her blood contained "nothing alarming" and we were in the clear as soon as she was done getting the antibiotics.

Today she spent the day with daddy. I wished I could of taken off to be with her. My job requires that I be there when the children are and I do my best to fulfill that but it was really hard.

She ran low grade fevers throughout the day but she ate 3 meals and drank a lot of Blueberry juice, blueberry juice fights off bacteria in the bladder :). I am so happy my little girl is on the mend.

However ..
Today Karly came down with viral croup .. .. .. ..

Oy Vey!

News :)

2011-10-09T18:54:00.000-07:00

WE went costume shopping. OY VEY! Is all I have to say. Karly decided she wanted to be Buzz Lightyear. I'll be honest, I was a bit disappointed. I wanted her to be something girly, a pretty princess..you know. Well we were out shopping when I saw a Buzz costume for $14. I thought "What a great deal" and bought it. Karly was so excited.

This weekend we decided to go get Katie's costume. She wanted to be Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell is sold out in WalMart so we visited Party City. Man they are pricey (For something that's going to get worn ONCE!). She decided she wanted to be a red butterfly instead. I asked for the Lady Bug costume, waited for it, walked back to pick up to get it and then the fitting room. It's been about 20 minutes. She doesn't like the red butterfly. She wants to be Tinkerbell. They find me and tell me they DO have Tinkerbell and it's in pick up. I go back to pick up, get the costume, go to fitting and Guess What?! She doesn't want to be Tinkerbell. She "Don't want to be anything".

Now this whole time Karly is in the background talking about how she wants to be Strawberry Shortcake. There is a cute cute cute Strawberry Shortcake costume for a reasonable price. I go and order it, pick it up and ask Katie if she wants to be Buzz. She said she did.

Katie threw a massive tantrum because she "Don't want to be anything!" but we tried it on anyway. Now she's excited about being Buzz.

Guess What!! I'm an auntie again. Introducing my beautiful adorable and handsome nephew, Lucan :) I love him. Isn't he precious!
Girls and I went shopping. We got winter jackets, new shoes, went to breakfast etc. It was so nice and they were very well behaved. It makes me sad because you can really tell that they are growing up. They have their own likes and dislikes. They have their own way of doing things. We went to get winter coats and I had the great idea of them getting little pea-coats. How cute would they look, right? So we went to Old Navy and I was showing them the pea-coats. Cute cute pink ones. Well they didn't want the cute cute pink pea-coat. They wanted this cute thick warm purple blue and white parka. Yes it's cute, the hood is lined with soft fur, it was on sale $15 off, inside lined with fleece .. BUT it wasn't the pea-coat. However, because I want them to know I respect them as they are, we bought the parkas. Maybe next year.
I love them so very, very much.

Just a quicky :)

2011-09-17T12:41:00.000-07:00

So Ive done three post today but I love this ...

If you were raised on Hee Haw, had a crush on any of the Dukes, only watched cartoons on Saturday morning, played in the dirt, got your butt busted or had to pick your own switch, had a phone with a rotary dial, had 3 TV channels, school started with the "Pledge", had a bedtime, rode in back of pickup trucks, recorded the top 40 from radio on cassette tapes, played in the creek, rode your bike all day without a helmet...and you still turned out okay, re-post this and remember the good times!!

This brings back those good all days. On the worst days I remember how hard life was with my parents being, well my parents, but most days all I remember is the fun we had. This is a silly FB status thingy but it made me sit there for a few and just think about all the good, fun times we had and I'd love to take my kids to a time where you got to enjoy this freely and with no worries.

Fall Fall I LOVE Fall!!

2011-09-17T07:50:00.001-07:00

Fall is my FAVORITE season. I love everything about fall. I love the weather, the colors, the smells, the tastes .. everything!

Today is a beautiful fall day. It's about 65 degrees, the sun is shining, there is a cool breeze, Just perfect.

Next weekend we are going apple picking and then we'll plan our pumpkin picking day after that.

The girls have their costumes picked out. Katie wants to be Tinkerbell and Karly wants to be Buzz Lightyear.

So many things to do :) Yay for Fall!

"You're Mommy, you can't get sick"

2011-09-17T07:41:00.000-07:00

Says the husband.

On Tuesday, I took the girls to school. I fixed up their breakfast and got them seated. Karly stood up, walked to sink to wash her hands and then vomited. I thought it was a fluke. How silly. Around 11, she was sent home. I took her home, daddy came home to watch her. I went back to work. At 3, I got the call that Katie had to go home as well. Left work.

Wednesday wasn't too bad but hubby woke up Thursday morning vomiting. Thursday night I started feeling sick. Donald said "You're Mommy, you can't get sick". He didn't mean it in a mean way just stating a fact. (his facts lol)

I took the girls to school yesterday and then went home to suffer.

Everything is back to normal this morning but the house is a MESS!!

I hope it's a bit before we have anything else but a cold in this house (we all have a cold).

For Fun :)

2011-09-13T14:30:00.000-07:00

WHEN YOUR CHILD COMES HOME MESSYRed paint in the hair? Blue paint on the jeans?
Sand in the shoes? Peanut butter on a favorite shirt?
White socks that look brown? Sleeves a bit damp?
YOUR CHILD PROBABLY....
worked with a friend
solved a problem
created a masterpiece
negotiated a difference
learned a new skill
had a great time
developed new language skills
YOUR CHILD PROBABLY DIDN'T....
feel lonely
become bored
do a repetitive task that is babyish
do worksheets that are too easy.
do sit down work that is discouraging

YOU PROBABLY....
paid good money for those clothes
will have trouble getting the red paint out
are concerned the caregiver isn't paying enough attention to your child

YOUR CAREGIVER PROBABLY....
was aware of your child's special needs and interests
spent time planning a challenging activity for the children
encouraged the children to try new things
was worried you might be concerned

Young children really learn when they are actively involved in play...not when someone is talking to them. There is a difference between "messy" and "lack of care." Your caregiver made sure your child was fed, warm, offered new skills and planned messy fun things to do because that's how your children learn!
Send your child in clothes that can get dirty! Keep extra clothes at the site for the times when the child gets really messy. But remember, your children need time to be kids.

~~~Author Unknown~~~

This happens all the time. I really have to resist the urge to shrug when parents ask me what happened to their clothing. I do use smocks and bibs provided but if you've ever tried to art with a 2 year old, I could cover them with a garbage bag and they'd STILL get dirty lol. I love this poem.

2011-09-11T13:48:00.000-07:00

Beams from the WTC that were placed in our town overlooking the river.

Girls looking into reflecting pool

On the light rail for the first time

First light rail ride

Having hotdogs in Frank Sinatra Park in Hoboken

My dinner at the Hoboken Italian Festival

Waiting for fireworks


The Island we watched the fireworks from

Last night we attending the Hoboken Italian Festival. The girls had a great time. It was their first trip to Hoboken. We took the light rail and walked to the park. We had a blast. The girls had hotdogs, watermelon cream soda, some root beer, some ice cream and we watched a great fireworks show.

The beam of light was up from where the towers once stood and I have a pic on my phone but I'll share that another day.

Going home was a little crazy. It was almost midnight and we had to go to Newport to catch the light rail home. Because it was the light rail (and the day before the 9-11 10 year anniversary) there were tons of cops carrying big guns. It's been quiet here though. I'm, of course, worried about the threatened attacks today. The big football game is tonight and they are searching everyones car before letting them in.

It's been a nice day. My friend had her baby. He's sooo tiny and I'm in love. Made me want another little one but not enough to do IVF again :)

The ugly truth ..

2011-09-09T19:16:00.000-07:00

Okay so I've been ignoring all the signs. I know I'm ignoring them because I'm a stubborn person. I always have been. When I want to do something, I do it. Even if it means I'll fall flat on my face and end up in a worse situation than before. I still do it.

I was dx with an anxiety/panic disorder years ago. Years and years ago. Like 15 years ago. I was on meds for awhile but wanted to go it without them. Went back on them. When I wanted to have a baby, I couldn't take it. I weaned myself off and sought out therapy. She really really helped me. Got me through, taught me how to deal and manage a life med-free.

Well....

My body has really been showing signs that I NEED to go back on anxiety meds. I've been ignoring them but now they are all getting to me. It started with the heart palpitations and that feeling of dread/panic. I calmed myself down. Then I started getting little muscle twitches that I ignored. Then I started feeling tired all the time. Really ran down. Fast forward to now, my body hurts. I feel like I have the flu. I flub my words, my short term memory is all screwed up. I don't rest. I'm always worried about something. Objects make me angry. Just a little bit ago, the sound of the magazine flapping by the fan was driving me nuts. I find myself griping things a little too tight. I choke on nothing. I'll just be walking and start choking on air. Happens more than a hundred times a day. I get nervous and I've been snapping. I have great restraint at work but I will forget that I'm reading a book, I'll read the wrong words, forget what's next, and when I come home I just can't seem to talk or interact. I spend about half an hour with family, then it's time to hide in the bedroom until I have to come out.

I can't take living like this. I don't mind being on the medicine but I always hoped I wouldn't have to take it again. I know why I am an anxious person. I know how it started, when it started and I don't want my girls to be anxious or panicky. I want them to be sane haha (J/K) I want them to stay positive and not worry about every little thing like their mother.

I just feel the need to get this out somewhere. All day it felt like my heart was pumping water and I couldn't take a breath. Donald is home all weekend so that will be good for me. I usually do Saturdays by myself.

I guess I should go to bed. I do need lots and lots of sleep.

Turning my blog into a book .. hmm

2011-09-08T03:30:00.000-07:00

Some of the post on here aren't really keep worthy but a ton of them are. I was thinking of making this blog into a book. Here are the prices: Hard cover/full color-$99, Soft cover/full color-$89, soft cover/b&w-$32.

I could do the $32 but the others are a bit steep. Last night I spent a lot of time reading my older posts and wondered what would happen if I lost this site. That's 4 years of memories I'd lose. Funny part, when I read the blog entry and then saw the comments button, I could remember exactly what the comments said before clicking to read it.

I love my blog. I think I will most definitely print most of it out. Ramblings of work and stuff aren't that important but my IVF and my pregnancy and the girls first few years is.

Work:

It's the first week with a new set of kids. They are mostly young. I have a few that don't turn 2 until the end of October. I usually have the older toddlers. Those that turn 3 in November so this is different.

The first day was okay. They cried, they laughed, they cried some more. Parents on my case asking why their child is crying. I have to keep telling them that it's normal. They look at me like I'm crazy. The second day I said "Look. I've been doing this for more than 10 years. It's normal. It happens every single September and there's nothing anyone can do. They are going to have to cry until they see that they are happy. I don't know why they need to cry but they do."

My girls never cried. Not one day at drop off. I really don't know why some kids cry. I'm not talking about the ones that cry for a little bit in the morning at separation and then go play. I'm talking about the scream-until-I-vomit and then scream some more and more and more and more. I have a few that cry All.Day.Long.

It's like I'm torturing them. We do everything to make them happy and sometimes you just have to let them cry.

They are going to their job and I'm going to spend the day with your screaming child. Yes, I will heat up their food. Yes, I will give them something to drink. Yes, I will change their diaper. Yes yes yes!! Not my first walk in the park, ya know?

Just say "Thank you" and Get off my back.

vent over.

9/11

2011-09-07T16:42:00.000-07:00

I posted last year, I'll post it again. Simply for myself but this year I added a video/song that touches my soul.

I had just moved here. I wonder if that's why it is so stuck in memory. I saw something posted on FB saying that you can't remember what you did last Tuesday but I bet you remember what happened 10 years ago Tuesday. And I do.

I remember everything. I remember it was a beautiful sunny day. I remember saying bye to boyfriend and then rolling over to go back to sleep. I remember getting up a little before 9 to answer the phone and I remember Donald's words : "Are you okay?" "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
"Have you turned on the tv?" "No, should I?" "The towers were hit." "What towers?" "The WTC towers. The ones we just visited."

I turned on the tv and watched in horror. It was happening right outside. When Donald came home we walked up the block and watch through tears. All you could see was smoke, smoke and more smoke. The smell was horrid.

The days that past were grim. Very few people on the streets, the smell of decay and smoke.

This is one of my favorite songs and it's set to a video. Donald and I are going to take a walk and take some photos of the Freedom Tower next week.

End of summer pt. 2

2011-09-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

Today we went to the zoo. We have a membership and haven't hardly used it so we thought we'd go. I wish I could write about the fun happy time we had but the truth is it just wasn't a good time. For us.

Katie had the biggest attitude. She was talking back, throwing tantrums and a few times told me she was "running away". She wanted in the stroller, out of the stroller wanted to push the stroller and walk. Karly screamed "NO" at every exhibit we walked up to. "NO MONKEYS!" "NO LLAMAS" etc you get the point.

I told the girls I was going to smack their little butts if kept it up and they said "Mommy! Don't smack me!" Which made me look like an award winning parent. Still we smiled and made the best of our very demanding together day. There were a few exhibits they enjoyed. The liked the aquarium, birds and the penguins.

They asked to go to McDonalds. We were happy to say "Yes" because we thought it would make them happy and we could sit down and have a nice unhealthy lunch. Nope. Katie refused to eat through herself under the table, kicked the table and just refused to be good.

They refused to nap. They are still up being awful and I decided to sit here and blog while Donald takes a turn to deal with them..and that's what we are doing. Dealing with them until we can get to bedtime. I had to use the restroom before and when I came back in the room, they had dumped the entire contents of my wallet and purse onto the floor. When I asked them what they were doing, Karly said she was "Looking for dollars".

I will probably take them out for a walk after dinner to really wear there little hineys out so they sleep good and hopefully sleep in tomorrow.

Next two days are cleaning (which should be fun). Here are a few happy moments of our day.

Goodbye to Summer part 1 ..

2011-09-02T15:52:00.000-07:00

Being that this is the last weekend of Summer and life goes back to normal come Tuesday, we decided to do a few things this weekend. Well we were going to do a lot of things but rain will keep us in.

Today we spent the day at the beach. Uncle E and Kathy came with us, as did a friend and her son from work. We went to our favorite spot but the hurricane sure did a number on it. There was no damage to structures or the boardwalk but where we usually sit was under water. Most of the beach was underwater. We had to keep moving farther back because the waves were coming all the way in.

At one point, Karly was playing with Donald and I had my back turned. I heard Karly yell and turned around and she was being knocked down by a wave. Donald ran and grabbed her and she was upset. We were no where near the water so I was a bit surprised. We moved farther back and I sat down to dig in the sand with the girls when another wave came and knocked over my brothers cooler and moved the girls toys back. The girls took off running.

We moved farther away again. Now there was a good amount of space between the ocean and us but that didn't stop the waves. They kept coming up and over our stuff. We moved farther back and Donald pointed out that our first campsite was completely under water. The high tide made a little river through the middle of the beach but the kids were so traumatized by the water coming to them that they wanted no part in it.

At the end of the day we all said goodbye to Uncle E and Kathy. I will miss them but they had a great visit. I'm burned and exhausted and the girls need a shower and bed but they are still too excited to stop playing.

Our first squatting spot. Nice distance from the water, still close enough.

Where my brother and his girlfriend are standing is where we had our second squat spot. Our first was completely covered with water. Crazy!!

It's a dark photo but still cute.

An idea of how rough the water was, but it was still nice to go in.

Pictures :)

2011-08-31T16:33:00.000-07:00

This is the Library Area. Exciting, I know :)

My theme is year is nature/outside. Here are 5 green and speckled frogs on their log :)

A little bit of creativity from one of the new staff members. Cute huh?

Part of my mural, I'll post more about it in a few.

Another part of the mural. The mother duck and ducklings I drew and colored out of posterboard using the book "Little Quack" has a subject. I think it looks nice inside the pond mural.

The entire Mural. Love it!

Circle Time!

My little room.

So excited to be done. Only took 34 hours and 3 days to get it done. I'm so sore but it looks very good ( I think anyway :) )

The mural was done by a friend and coworker and we added all the animals and ducks separately.

Ms. C and Ms. T both started today. I didn't like that Ms. L (my intended assistant) found out on her own what was going one. She kind of go upset.

Both new staff are very nice and I think they will do good. I don't know exactly if they understand what a room full of Toddlers is like but we will try our best I'm sure.

This blows big poo..

2011-08-31T00:19:00.000-07:00

Can't vent about this anywhere so I'll do it here. Someone I work with, who has been out on maternity refuses to call and let us know if she's coming back or not soooo we have to make some changes. They hired someone to replace said person but she can't work where said person was supposed to work so the new person is working with me and the person that I'm supposed to work with and have for the last two days is going to work where said person was supposed to work.

I'm so annoyed. and frustrated. and upset. and just played ticked off. I have to start the year with TWO new teachers who have NO EXPERIENCE in the field other than babysitting. This job is nothing like babysitting and come September, when I have 14 crying children, I need a good assistant. Someone whos weathered a storm or two. UGH! Boss says I can shape her and teach her..blech!

On a positive note, working 23 hours the last two days has made for one cute cute room. Pics to come soon :)

Pictures

2011-08-27T19:08:00.001-07:00

Girls getting their beanbag chairs and balloons on their 3rd birthday

Playing at the splash pad

Girls at the beach

Beach time

At school on their Birthday

Playing in tubs

Girls and their birthday gifts

The Nemo cake .. the only thing I could find that was actually Nemo

Birthday Party

At the river with my mom and sister on vacation

Ramblings..

2011-08-27T05:08:00.001-07:00

So I'm sitting in my bed, Katie is laying next me, Karly is on the other side and we're watching cars. My brother and his girlfriend are sleeping in the living room and I don't feel like making breakfast just yet.

Some thoughts. I can't believe my girls have finished their first year of "school". They learned so much. We taught them their colors, shapes, numbers and letters but they just learned so much more. Their social skills are very good, Katie's more than Karly's, but it's 100 times better than it was last August. They are just more aware of everything and they understand what goes on.

Next Tuesday, Sept 6th, they begin a new school year in a new bigger class. I got the teachers I asked for and I LOVE the assistant teacher. The new lead teacher is very good. Her lesson plans are out of the box and she pushes the kids to do more and learn more. My girls need that. They will also start a spanish class and I was thinking about adding Yoga but it would cost 150-300 to send the girls and that's a bit steep, so they probably won't. I've also thought about just sending Katie. I don't think that Karly would actually enjoy it at all. Karly is more of a quiet person and wouldn't enjoy that kind of activity but it's good for her so I would eventually her to join as well.

We had our first (and hopefully last) Earthquake. The news said it was a 5. 8 and they have no idea where the fault line was. All I know is that I was standing at the sink and I started to feel like I was going to faint. I looked at my assistant who was sitting down and she starts laughing at me. I say "I think I'm gonna faint" and she laughs and says "Nope, Look the room is moving". I look around and the blinds are swinging the walls are moving. When it was over, I felt like throwing up and my head hurt a lot. The phone lit up and I tried to walk but it was like I was drunk lol.

I can honestly say I was a little worried. We had no idea. Some people were talking about terroists attacks, some thought there was demolition. I text my husband and said "WTF is going on?" He didn't respond. I said "Hello?" and then "Babe!" He responded with "Earthquake, Virginina, 5.8" We spent the day laughing at ourselves. There was no damage and other than a book that fell off our shelf.

My work hours officially changed. I work 8-5 with the possibility of working until 5:30 because I have a new assistant and she needs to be trained. If she isn't any good, I'll have to stay to train her but I'm not looking forward to that, the overtime pay-yes, the extra half hour? No.

My new class is a tough one. I have a few with stranger anxiety, a few with parents who teach no discipline and a few with an attitude far beyond their years but you know what? It doesn't matter. I'm sure we'll be fine :) Right?

My brother is coming to see us :)

2011-08-24T18:03:00.000-07:00

My oldest younger brother Eric is coming to see us tomorrow and staying until Wednesday. This was hard to pull off because my in laws don't like visitors.

I'm kind of annoyed because of Hurricane Irene and the fact that she thinks she should come during his visit and ruin everything. I'm a little worried because it's supposed to be really bad on Sunday.

Of course I have to work Friday and then Monday-Wednesday, so I won't have that much time with him. We'll make the most of it though. The important thing is, he'll have enough time to spend with the girls.

I had an accidental sneak peak at the schedule for September. My hours are being changed from 8:30-5:30 to 8:00 to 5:00. I'm so happy. To be home before 6 will be great. I am at work before 8 anyhow so now I'll just continue. I am also not going to have to work with the problem staff member. Also very happy.

Katie has been starting to throw tantrums. Horrible tantrums. The jumping up and down and screaming at the top of her lungs tantrums. She throws these tantrums when it's time to go home. They only thing we can think of is is that we have been telling her she is going to a new room in September and that next week there isn't any school and she'll be staying home ...

Katie loves going to school. She can't wait to go in the morning and I think she hates weekends because she can't go. She is a very bright child and needs to be doing something at all times and at home she has a lot of free time. We take her to park, for walks, on errands but it's not school. We have decided to stop telling her because it may be making her anxious.

Work is crazy

2011-08-22T17:46:00.000-07:00

At the end of this week, we close our doors until the Tuesday after Labor Day. Everything is crazy. Some staff are leaving and everyone is waiting for room assignments.

A few months ago, I posted about a teacher having issues in the classroom. Well, she's going to be my new assistant this year. My afternoon helper. This should be fun being that she doesn't like me. She wants to work full time, but my boss isn't going to let her work full being that she isn't up to standards. I'm excited about my morning assistant. I worked with her the year I found out I was pregnant, she was actually the first person I told. I had only worked with her about a month when I got the phone call and nearly passed out. She said "Are you okay, Ms. Tina?" I said "I'm pregnant". She kept a really good secret though. Anyway she's a sweetheart and I'm excited.

However, due to some staff leaving, others aren't as lucky to have a home. We are 4 staff members short for September. The center I work for has a 2 year waiting list approximately and this year we are packed. So needless to say, it's a bit crazy.

In other news, my yearbook is complete, certificates have been filled out, progress reports are done and lesson plans are almost done for the month of September. I'm happy :) .

Where did the summer go?

2011-08-20T10:01:00.000-07:00

This summer was so busy and full of fun things and it flew by. We took numerous trips to the beach, took the girls to their first 2 movies and of course our vacation.

In July we took the girls to see Cars 2 and Winnie the Pooh. They didn't care for Cars (neither did mommy or daddy). They did good during it though. I took them by myself to Winnie the Pooh and they did so well. They sat through the entire movie and we only had to do one potty break.

We also made a lot of trips to the water park and also just enjoyed our backyard.

Then there was the girls birthday party. I can't believe they turned 3. We had a nice backyard party with plenty of food and lots of water (and a little malibu). They wanted a Nemo party and I agreed to it before I realized that Nemo has been discontinued. I tried to change the girls' mind but they wanted no part of it. So I did what any mom would do, I scoured the internet and the dollar stores, the party stores, asked around and finally I went to Oriental Trading. If you've never been to their website or seen their magazines, you should.

We settled on a tropical fish theme and found a bunch of Clown Fish stuff. We filled the backyard with fish, fish decals, stuck fish stickers all over the blue tablecloths, it totally worked out and the girls had no idea it wasn't "Nemo".

They had over 500 water balloons, 3 tubs of water, a pool, water table and the hose. It was a great time.

We had a lot of fun as a family this year and I know next year we will have even more as the girls get older.

I know why I love my job :)

2011-08-18T18:29:00.000-07:00

9 years ago, I was an assistant teacher. There was a new child starting. The sweetest little girl. She was Turkish and spoke no English. You could tell this little 3 year old was afraid and felt alone. She would sit there with this sad face and she always looked miserable. I made it a mission to put a smile on her face.

After a few months, she started to open up and at quiet times, I helped her speak English. She had this incredible head of hair she always wanted me to fix for her. She held my hand, always looked for me and I just felt bonded with her.

She eventually had to move up. I checked on her when I could and she was growing into such a wonderful little lady. I moved up to head teacher and had her brother, so I'd see her a little more then it was time for her to graduate and move on. It happens. Every August we say a heartfelt/heartbreaking good bye to the kids we've cared for for the last 4 years and get ready for a new batch.

Fast forward to today. I'm sitting in my room working on lesson plans for September and my boss opens the door and calls me. I stand up to come towards her but standing next to her was my little friend. I got all teary eyed and even though she's as tall as I am now, I recognized her in an instant and grabbed her in a hug.

I had to hug her 3 times, I couldn't believe how grown up she was. I asked her mom where her son, K was and she looked at my boss and said "I can't believe she remembers my sons name".

Every child that I've ever cared for has a special spot in my heart. Some I still keep in touch with, some I don't but I'll never forget one.

I love my job.

A little update..

2011-08-13T18:40:00.000-07:00

Girls are potty trained!!!! Those of you who know me, know that we've been potty training since forever and really boot camp training since June, so you can say I'm over the moon to be saying this.

Katie refused to use the potty, was always wet so we did what you do, we took her diaper away and gave her undies and told her not to peepee on the floor. It worked. She hasn't had one accident yet and it's been 9 days.

Karly was doing very good on the potty but she got embarrassed about doing #2 in her undies so she started doing it more and more so we put her back into a pullup. She's back to doing excellent.

We have gotten rid of diapers, except for bedtime (which I will stop once I go to babies r u to get waterproof sheets). I have a bunch of clothing at school and a bunch in the car. We are good to go.

Work is work. Getting very busy now that the year is ending. I am set to take over a room that will be mine for my next two years. In 2013, we are set to move. It's almost in stone.

Girls are doing very well. They are happy and learning and growing. They just went to the dentist for the first time and yes there was a lot of screaming. No cavities and she didn't even know that Karly sucked her thumb.

Oh and more good news about a month ago, Katie told me she didn't need her pacifier anymore. I left it on her bed (it's still on her bed) but she won't use it. I just keep it there, not sure why.

Where were we?

2011-07-27T04:11:00.000-07:00

OH yeah, I was supposed to blog about my second week and I will, one day. Blogger has been such a pain and not working for me. I can't post blogs or comments, so those of you I read, I've been just keeping track of you on facebook :) Going to catch up when I can.

I have awesome news!!

Wait for it ...

Not sure if I posted a few months ago about the upcoming classroom changes. I would have to go back to preschool come September but I had put in a request to stay in Toddlers? Well I get to .... REMAIN in TODDLERS!!! I have to move to another room yet again and that's okay.

So excited!!

Girls are doing very well. Katie isn't feeling too good at the moment but they are growing and learning. Potty training is going and going and going. We aren't going forwards or backwards. They go at home, refuse to go at school. School is where they spend all their waking hours so I don't know what to do. So frustrating.

Vacation 2011 Week One.

2011-06-28T16:05:00.001-07:00

We started our vacation on Saturday. We left the house at 6:30 am and we were off. We arrived in Indiana around 7 and went to dinner at Cracker Barrel for dinner. The girls were so well behaved. Then even went to sleep with no issues at the hotel.

The next day was a little tougher on them. We ended up having to stop more as they were just going stir crazy. Indiana had a few nice rest areas and even one with a park.

Before long we made it to my moms house. The girls jumped in her pool first thing with clothes on so we had to undress. They didn't mind since it was very hot. AFter a short visit, we finished our drive to my grandmas.
We always stay at my grandmas when we go home. I stay in the room I always stayed in a kid and lived in as a teenager. The girls sleep in what was once my grandpas quiet room. Both rooms give us tons of space and privacy.

Monday: Lake Springfield and swimming and grandma and poppops pool

Tuesday: Visiting grandma and the cousins

Wednesday: We took the day easy. Visited some of my old friends and went to dinner with my dad. Very nice day.

Thursday; We drove to Texas. Girls did so good on the 13 hour car ride :)

Friday: Schlitterbaun Waterpark

Saturday: We had lunch with my Aunt and Uncle and my cousins family. It was great to see them again. Then we went to the Childrens Musuem in Downtown Austin.

Sunday: We made the long track back to Missouri.

I hate my body .. :(

2011-05-18T04:23:00.000-07:00

I've been dieting since easter. Homemade salad, wheat pasta (only once a week), basically no bread .. Low calories, low carbs and low fat and exercise ....

I gained 3 pounds :( .. Initially I lost 7 pounds but it looks as if the scale is going up.

My fight with PCOS is a losing battle. I give up.

Then and now..

2011-05-09T18:16:00.001-07:00

Today we went to the Fourth Annual Baby Jubilee. Our RE, Dr, N, has an event where he invites all the parents who have had a live birth (from ART) in the last four years. It's at the Seasons and very nice. I love all the babies you see. Singles, twins, triplets all in one room. It's great. The food is fantastic. We didn't go the first year because the girls hadn't arrived yet but we've gone to the last three. Next year is our last one but we took some great photos tonight but before I show any I wanted to take a stroll down memory lane.

The girls were 9 months old in this photo. Karly is being held by a wonderful man. His name is Dr. N. He was my reproductive Endocrinologist. If you've been a long time reader, you know that my relationship with this dr was a long one. I've cried on his shouldler, yelled at him, doubted him and even walked away from him but when I was ready to talk to him, he always welcomed me back and put me at the top of his list. When they raised the prices $2000 and it looked like we were going to get smacked again, he told us not to worry about it. He gave us our money back after both failed attempts and called me himself to tell me I was pregnant. I love this man to pieces and thank God for him daily.

This was last year. I love seeing how much the girls have grown in just a year.

This year we weren't able to get a picture with Dr. N because the girls weren't having it but they did say "Hi" to him and we talked to him for awhile. He asked me if I was done or if I wanted to try again. I told him we were blessed with these two and they completed our family. He said I had such a hard, long road trying to get pregnant with these two, he understood why. He said they were beautiful and I hugged him and thanked him again for my beautiful girls.

Girls, 9 months old (First Baby Jubilee)
Girls, 34 months old (Third Baby Jubilee)
Girls, 9 months old

Girls, 22 months old (Second Jubilee)

Girls, 34 months old (Third Baby Jubilee)

We found out tonight that they are going to have them for the first five years then have a huge one at 10 years. I hope we are able to come back here for it as in 6 years I hope we aren't living here haha.

Big news!

2011-05-04T17:30:00.001-07:00

Today we met with Katie's occupational therapist after Katies evaluation. She is now advanced in everything she was delayed in and there isn't really any evidence to support their previous thoughts of an Auditory Processing Delay. They told us to keep letting her go outside and explore her surroundings, to let her take things in and she will grow and learn naturally.

We are so proud of her. Not too long ago I was sitting in the hallway after her initial evaluation crying and now she's surpassed her goals. We will continue to help her the way we have been the last few months. June 29th will probably be her last appointment unless we terminate earlier. Right now we feel the continued one on one will still benefit her so as long as we are qualified to get the therapy, we will.

I haven't lost any weight this week but I haven't gained any weight either. I haven't worked out AT ALL (other than dancing and jumping around with 2 and 3 year olds) but I've been keeping the types of food I eat in check. I keep sugar, flour and carbs at a minimum. Your body needs a certain amount of those foods but I only eat them when combined with healthy choices but can I tell you that I want a sandwich and I want some rigitoni!!!

I need to kick my diet dr pepper habit. Dont buy it? Yeah tried that. Came home from work the other day and Donald said "Hey babe, I noticed you haven't had any soda so I bought you a 12 pack of diet dr pepper. " Thanks. haha.

6 pounds in two days??

2011-04-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've lost 6 pounds in two days. I know it's probably water weight right now but it just feels good to see the scale going down for a change.

This is what I had today:

Breakfast: Small whole wheat roll w/ peanut butter and sugar free jelly
Snack: 1/2 a grapefruit
Lunch: Large salad with ranch dressing w/ tuna mixed in
Snack: 5oz cup of fat free greek yogurt
Dinner: Cheeseburger w no bread and fries.
Snack: Yogurt and fruit (usually around 830)

After eating, we took an hour walk the ended up at the park for some play time. The girls were worn out.

Hoping this continues. I bought some of those Omega-3 MultiGrain elbow noodles and mixed them with some ground beef, onions and a light tomato soup for lunch tomorrow. I took a sneak bite and it was so good. I even got Donald to try it and he's going to have some for lunch tomorrow. Yay :)

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week ..

2011-04-25T18:32:00.000-07:00

All babies are miracles of God. They are all gifts. However, some have to work harder than others to have a baby in their lives. I "know" many women who started trying before me and are still waiting to hold that gift from God. My heart aches for them because I remember thinking that I would never have a baby to hold. My girls are truly the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

Tonight the girls, Don and I sat down to make silly hats for "Silly Hat Day" tomorrow. April is "Month of the Young Child" and this is the week we are celebrating the Young Child. Today was Silly Sock Day. Sock day, although cute, is usually the one everyone forgets because it's Monday. The girls remembered and got to wear the funniest socks. We had them pulled up over their pants so they could show them off. It was cute.

Lately I haven't been feeling well. Irritable, exhausted, feelings of uneasiness...

I weighed myself and saw I gained 4 pounds in just 3 days. I hadn't been anything out of the ordinary. I realized that I feel awful after I eat or drink anything that has a lot of sugar or anything high in carbs. I started worrying that I had diabetes.

I was told I have PCOS w/ Insulin resistance. That was part of my infertility. I've known it for years but never really researched it. I figured I knew enough. I started googling because I never gave it any thought but the insulin resistance is AKA Metabolic Syndrome and it described everything I've been feeling and the complications are scary. Heart Disease!! Diabetes! It's basically a short circuiting of your endocrine system. I had Donald pick up a blood sugar meter. I checked it at bedtime-94, fasting-98 and after eating a complete meal-112. I'm relieved to know as of now my sugar is in check but it was a wake up. I have go to do more to get this weight off.

I feel it's impossible. I do. I can't really eat anything. I can have salad. Tuna w/ no bread. Nothing with sugar, white flour or carbs. OYE!! It would be easier if I concentrated on what I can have. Fruits and veggies. Lots of them. No soda, not that I'm a big soda drinker now, but really no soda and the yoplait I eat every day has 33g of sugar so I'll be getting rid of those. I still have a small goal of 30 pounds, although I still need to lose the 42 I gained while pregnant and about 60 I gained since I've met Donald. So we'll start with 30 and see if I can accomplish that.

Wow this was a winded entry :)

Vacation is coming so soon. We are very excited to just get away as a family.

Easter Pics :)

2011-04-22T18:53:00.000-07:00

Easter pics that were taken with my phone when my camera stopped working :) It was really windy but I think we got some cute ones.

A fun Saturday :)

2011-04-16T19:23:00.000-07:00

It's the weekend again and of course, it's raining.

What to do on a rainy weekend?

First, we made breakfast as a family. The girls whisked (spelling?) the eggs and buttered to toast. Daddy cooked the eggs and mommy held down the fort. We ate and then got ready.

We headed to the Library to return our books and get more. We stayed for signing time (they teach a few bits of sign language before story time) and some of the story. Mr Tree started reading the story and they freaked out a bit. It's a big tree that talks.

We went to LakeShore Teachers Store and did arts and crafts. We planted a sunflower and decorated a reusable bag. The theme being Care for the Earth and Recycle, Reduce, Reuse.

After that we went to lunch. We decided on a special treat, KFC. The girls LOVE the mac n cheese but we don't let them have it very often because they won't eat anything else.

Then we went home and the girls knocked out. I decided to nap as well. We got up at 330 and headed out to get some groceries.

At 5, we went to a friends house for dinner. We made french bread pizzas and ordered wings. The girls got to play with 3 other children. They played dress up, ate chocolate cake, ran wild and watched Toy Story.

It took them about 5 seconds to fall asleep tonight. It was a great Saturday :)

A beautiful Saturday :)

2011-04-09T18:35:00.000-07:00

Today was gorgeous! After Don left for work, I told the girls we were going to go to the library then the park. She crossed her arms and said "Mommy, we walk to park first". It was so cute. We loaded the stroller with our coats, water and books and started walking to the park. At the park, they enjoyed playing with 3 boys around their age. The library is about a 20 minute walk and I wasn't going to make them walk the whole way but they ended up walking most of it. We got some new books and headed back. I told them to sit because they looked tired and you know kids push themselves. We walked to daddys work and they got to have half a donut and some juice for a snack. Then we headed home for a much needed nap. Once we got up, we got changed and went to our friends house. We spent the entire afternoon at our playdate. We had dinner and everything was going well but Karly started complaining about ear pain. Sure enough, her ear is draining. We got home, took her temp and it's 102.2, so here we go again. The good thing is the ER doc told me she had a virus so unless her temp is still going on Monday, there is no reason to worry.

It's the weekend!

2011-04-08T16:17:00.001-07:00

This morning I needed to go to CVS to get Karly some Saline and Benedryl for her cold. She's already on pulmicort but when she lays down she starts gagging, a sure sign of post nasal drip. While in CVS, Karly was walking and bumped into one of those little shelves that stick out to advertise things. It wasn't obvious that it was there. This is what happened.

It looked a lot worse than it actually was. At first I was going to take her to school and let the nurse bandage it up. CVS suggested I go to the ER. My friend said the same thing being she got hurt on metal. I didn't think it was that severe so I took her to the school nurse who cleaned it and bandaged it and suggested I call the dr. The dr told me to take her to the ER. So instead of getting my classroom ready, I dropped off Katie and took Karly to the ER.

They cleaned it and gave me instructions for the year .. yeah year. I have to put Vit E oil on it for a few weeks then sunscreen everyday for a year. ER dr also said she had a virus. He was nice enough to check her out for me haha.

The rest of the day went by without any problems. I did more training and learned a few more disturbing things like the kitchen play area is only a reward for children that are behaving so the children that weren't listening don't get to play in it. WHAT?? I told them I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard. They are, however, on their best behavior and my girls are happily enjoying another room :) .

This blog post literally took 4 hours lol. I'm sure I had more to blog about, maybe even something interesting, but It's all left my head.

Yoplait Greek and a Dr. Pepper :)

2011-04-07T16:59:00.000-07:00

Is how I relax on a these days haha .. So Katie ate a little breakfast, her lunch and some dinner before throwing it up. Oy! She seems to be feeling better now and is happy. Today my job was to go into the girls classroom and retrain the teacher I've been complaining about. My girls got to visit another room. While I was in there, the teacher (Ms. J) was on her best behaviour. If I didn't already know better, I'd think she was great. She respected the children, she didn't put anyone in time out, she didn't yell. She was friendly. I could tell she felt like I was stepping on her toes a bit but I think, tables turned, I'd feel the same way. Not sure if I have to do it again tomorrow. I decided to weigh myself this morning and the scale said I'd lost two pounds. I don't get it. Anywho, food journal entry:

1/2 Grapefruit and Smart Ones breakfast sandwhich

Yoplait Greek

3 small pork tacos w/ sour cream and cheese.. (YUMM!) , some tortilla chips and salsa and a grapefruit IZZE

Small bowl of spaghetti, two small meatballs

Yoplait Greek and Dr. Pepper

Okay so today I ate like crap but it was portion controlled so I hope it didn't hurt my diet that much.

My thoughts today...

2011-04-06T18:14:00.000-07:00

1. I need to clean my computer screen. It has little girly fingerprints on it.

Okay so I cleaned the screen and all is well now lol.

2. My mom told me today that she has Parkinson's Disease.

She told me on facebook. I know she's saying it's no big deal but isn't this a phone call kind of thing? She told me in chat that my grandpa had lung cancer and he was going to die. I'm beginning to think she just doesn't like telling me bad news in person but still.....

3. There is stupid drama at work.

I was supposed to train a woman today. She's promising. She wants to be a child advocate. She's been working in the same room my girls are in. The things she was asking me .. "Do we put children in time-out when they won't sit and watch tv?" "They keep putting this one boy in time-out and making him sit there all day" etc... okkkayyy I told my boss about the questions as I can't act because my girls are in the class. She said we'll discuss it tomorrow. My assistant went to work in the room today for awhle and came back and said she didn't want to work in the room again. The children had to sit in time out everytime they breathe wrong :( oh boy .. I'm annoyed because I was informed my girls had to sit in time out several times because they refused to watch tv. Are you kidding me?!?!?!?!?! I think the problem is inexperience. Who knows though :(

4. Katherine won't eat and the therapist says she thinks Katie may have some sort of processing disorder. Not visual, more auditory.

Katherine won't eat. No fever, not acting differently, she just won't eat. She ate a few bites of cereal and some milk, no lunch and no dinner. Just a few grapes and half of my yogurt. I know thats eating something but Katies not my chunky monkey because she eats a little bit, this girl can eat. I went to check on her tonight and she's soaked in sweat. I know she didnt' have a fever, because I checked.

Her therapist thinks she has a processing delay. You can't fix it. If she does, it can't be diagnosed until she's older, we will have to make sure she has an occupational therapist as she attends school. Until then they are going to continue working on her Auditory Processing and we are supposed to let her carry heavy things around the house :)

5. I gained a pound while dieting!!!!

I hate hate hate PCOS!!!! This has a to be the most frustrating thing ever. I can't stand that no matter what I do, I can't lose anything! UGH!!!

6. Vacation planning is driving me crazy. My mom has all of these crazy plans for me for vacation. It's not like they are big deals or anything, it's all simple stuff but I just get exhausted thinking about it lol. We are going to MO for a week, driving to TX for a few days, then back to MO. She wants to have a babyshower for my sister and go to the fair, and take me out for my birthday and take the girls to chuck e cheese for their birthday lol sounds fun! 7. I want to take the kids to the Zoo next Weekend so I need the weather to cooperate. This weather is driving me BSC! It's warm then cold then sunny then cold and rainy then snowy then warm then snowy then rainy! UGH. I really want to take them next weekend because Donald will be home all weekend :) Those are my thoughts for today :) And to start my food journal, today I ate (keep in mind I found out I gained a pound this morning so I wasn't as good as i should of been)

Green tea frap with skim and no whip and a ham, egg and cheese sand

Plain cheeseburger and a Yoplait greek

london broil, mixed veggies, noodles

tsp of peanut butter and milk for desert

A spring day :)

2011-04-02T18:44:00.000-07:00

We decided to walk through our neighborhood today. It was a ver nice walk.

Katie had a great time watching the ferries and helicoptors.

Karly stopped to pose for a picture with her daddy. Katie refused. She didn't like the bell. It's an old Fire Bell from a long, long time ago :) (hows that for history lol)

Karly trying hard to be cute :) okay okay so being cute isn't that difficult for her.

Walking into the park. This park is named "Hamilton Park". This is the historic site where Burr and Hamilton had the fatal duel that ended Hamiltons life. The rock he died on is a few blocks down, fenced in as well as a bust of Hamilton.

And this is why the girls fell asleep quickly tonight lol. They ran around this circle most of the time we were here.

Shopping with the girls .... Maybe not the best idea I've ever had :)

2011-04-02T10:42:00.000-07:00

I bought the girls the CUTEST suits online. I bought Katie a 3T but it just fits now so I had to go to Childrens Place to exchange them. I got her a one piece with a little tutu around it that she says makes her a ballerina. I was worried they wouldn't have anymore. I was in luck. They had 1 4T. I also had to exchange the bikini. The girls were picking out clothes they liked. We had fun. They each chose another hat (because you can never have too many, right? (oy)) and we got some capri leggings and a pair of capris. However, they wanted to do a lot of running around. I would say the time out they got helped, but it didn't. After the exchange, we headed to Carters. In Carters, they were running away from me. I ended up having to hold their hands and shop. It wasn't bad I just didn't want to loose them. I bought what I needed to and we left. They were so full of energy and wanted to run around so I let them run ahead. We played on those toys that move with Quarters and when it stopped Katie said "Mommy, do you have more quarters?" lol We played a bit more then went to have juice, coffee for mommy, and we shared a muffin. After we left the mall we went to the library and the girls picked out some books. I was told many times today that I have beautiful girls lol. I LOVE hearing that and it never gets old :) So today wasn't as great as I'd hoped but it wasn't horrible either. I will take them out again next Saturday. I want them to learn to walk with me and how to act in public without being strapped in a stroller. So we will continue and deal with what happens haha.

I don't leave the girls with sitters often but ..

2011-03-30T17:37:00.000-07:00

On Friday, we had someone watch the girls so we could go get the plates for our car. We left them from 6 to 930 pm. When we came back, we got to see how much fun they had. They didn't want to leave so my friend made me a malibu and hawaiian punch and I relaxed with them. We finally got home around 11 and the girls crashed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On Saturday, the girls and I went to Karlys dr appt. Donald had to work so I went on my own. Two toddlers isn't easy when you have one set of hands but let me tell you they were amazing. Katie played nicely in the waiting room (a nurse watched her) while I was in the room with Karly. Karlys throat is healing nicely, thank goodness. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When we were leaving, Karly asked for Pancakes. I didn't want to go home and make pancakes being that it was already 10 so we drove to McDonalds. I was going to go through the drive thru but Karly said "No mommy, go in." I didn't know what to do. Go in to eat? With two toddlers?? Am I that crazy? Yep. I gave her what she wanted. I warned them both. I told them that they will behave and will eat or we go home. I ordered and got them seated. They waited nicely while I went up to get the food. They didn't want a high chair..crazy again, right? So I let them sit on a "big girl" seat. They sat and ate like champs. When we were finished we went to visit Donald at work and then we headed home. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I had lined up yet another babysitter to watch the girls so I could attend a babyshower. I dropped them off at a coworkers house and Katie said "Bye Mommy" and pushed me towards the door. So I left. They had so much fun. She took them to the park and gave them lunch for me and they "rested" but didn't nap. I picked them up around 5 and they passed out in the car. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Karly was written up at school for the first time. She was saying "No", blew rasberries at the teacher and wasn't playing nicely with friends. Typical toddler behavior. She was written up for normal toddler behavior. Being a toddler teacher, I would never write a child up for these behaviors. I decided not to make a big deal about but her teacher had joked that she was going to close the blinds so parents couldn't look in. I'm a parent that looks in. When I walked by and saw that her blinds were indeed CLOSED, I called my director and said "Katherine and Karlys MOTHER would like to schedule a meeting with you today." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I know people aren't going to treat my girls the way I do and I know people aren't going to teach children the way I do, everyone has their own style. I've heard my girls being yelled at, I'm only the next classroom over. I've heard my girls cry. It happens. I don't yell at my toddlers and I don't yell at my kids but that's how some people do it. I explained to the director that one day I was in the hallway hanging up artwork and I hear "Not nice Karly, Not nice! NOT NICE! Karly that was not nice" but I never heard anything else being said. Then Karly started crying. It was never explained what she did that was so awful. I was upset. So we had a nice chat. I relieved my spleen. I'm hoping all will get better. On the plus side, my director did tell me I was a great toddler teacher and next year I MAY get to remain in toddlers instead of going back to preschool. I LOVE working with two year olds. It's my favorite age group. Yeah they drive me crazy but they make me laugh all day. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fingers crossed, I'll get what I want :)

Beautiful day!

2011-03-19T04:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our first 70 degree day in what feels like a year but was probably only about 6 months haha. I had to work so the girls and I were busy from 8 to 5:40 so we didn't get a lot of time to really enjoy it but when I pulled in our driveway at 6:03 we got out of car and walked the block to the park. We were there for half an hour before the girls started to ask for dinner. We decided to go home and get the girls sweaters and walk the 5 blocks to the Pizzeria and get pasta for dinner. It was a nice walk for us a nice roll in the stroller for the girls. When we got home, the girls and I ate a dish of penne alla vodka (They LOVE this pasta dish). We played for another half hour and at 9 they went to bed.

We are trying to get them back to sleeping in their own beds. Due to tons of fevers this winter, they spent a lot of time in our bed so I could feel when their temps spike. The first night (wednesday) was great. They thought it was fun and feel asleep no issues. The second night was hard. Katie screamed to get into mommys bed, then screamed to get into daddys bed (same bed, different sides lol). When the screaming didn't work, she crawled by the door and started calling "Mommy? Daddy?" to which we answered "Back to bed, Katie". After a few minutes, we went and they had switched beds and fallen asleep. Whatever works. Last night, thanks to the beautiful day, they girls went to sleep literally 5 seconds after the second book. I should add that I, too, fell asleep after the second book. I got an hour of sleep then got up because I still had to clean up.

Today is supposed to be only 50 but that's still warm enough to get us outside for a few minutes. We plan on heading to the park when the sun comes up because right now it's only about 35 and that's a bit chilly.

Just 2 photos :)

2011-03-16T16:30:00.000-07:00

Girls are feeling better. The next few days are supposed to be beautiful. I got my car back. All is good.

Funny Girls :)

2011-03-14T19:40:00.000-07:00

The girls have new phrases. They are :

"Wait a minute" (complete w/ finger)

"Not nice, Mommy!" (for everything they aren't happy with)

"I'm staying home" (when they aren't getting what they want)

"I'm staying in bed" (when they get madder because the first "I'm staying home" didn't work"

"I go uh-stairs" (when they are finished with my in laws)

"Pick you up, mommy" (really? You want to pick up mommy? haha)

"Get my dinner" (as soon as we walk through the front door)

"Drive Mommy!" (everytime I stop at a red light or stop sign)

"I drive!" (complete w/ tantrum when answer is no)

"I love you mommy" (okay not funny but it melts my heart everytime)

"No leave mommy" (after story time when I go to leave. who can say no to that?)

That's all I got for now. Time for bed.

ARGH!!!!!

2011-03-12T15:19:00.000-08:00

I don't like to vent to my friends but today I just let one go on a very dear friend of mine. She laughed at me through the entire rant but then I started laughing too.

Katie is sick again but she's on heavy dose antibiotic and her fever spiked to 104. She has a respitory infection. I know she'll be fine in a few days.

We had to take our new car into the shop already. Can you believe that?! We needed to put a new door panel on it because it was supposed to have keypad entry and doesn't and the siruis radio that was supposed to be on it, isn't. However, today it kept telling me the driver door was open and it was in fact shut and it wouldn't lock. When I got out of it, it locked and I couldn't shut it. After several calls I finally got a tow truck to take it but then donald got home and was able to unlock it so we drove. We are driving a loaner this week until it's finished. There was a whole bunch of drama trying to get our car worked on but it's over and done with :)

We are getting very excited about vacation. We will be in Missouri over my Birthday and I haven't spent my birthday with my family in 10 years!! It will be nice to celebrate it with my husband, kids and my family.

I've lost only 6 pounds. I really really need to get more into it. I'm not sure if it's the PCOS but something is going on. While watching what I ate, exercising, I gained 8 pounds. I've lost 6 of it but it's crazy. I hate being overweight and don't understand why I am. I eat right, I work out but alas I'm still overweight. The dr said it was the PCOS. I need to go to the Endocrinologist but it isn't in the cards right now :( .

Lastly, I am just heartbroken over what happened in Japan. Watching the footage is so hard but you can't turn your head and act like it never happened, you know? My mother in law made a stupid comment that the homeless children were abandoned by their parents because they saved themselves and I just wanted to yell at her that their parents were probably killed trying to save them and that they were orphans.

Tomorrow is supposed to be another pretty day, we hope to be out and about .. if Katie doesn't have another fever spike.

It's a beautiful Saturday and we are all inside. ..

2011-03-05T07:33:00.000-08:00

Since Katie is having tummy troubles and has had about 5 mishaps (one actually was made on the potty!) and Karly has a doctors appt at noon for a cold shes had over 2 weeks and possible pink eye, we've stuck to the inside for the morning.

We are hoping that after nap, we will be able to get out and enjoy some fresh air but until then, the girls are watching Toy Story, Donald is doing his thing and I'm going to blog and catch up on others.

~Potty Training~
..Is not going well. We've been trying for months and we haven't made any progress. Today Katie got up and ran to the potty and pooped, received two jellybeans (as was the deal she made with us) but went on herself the rest of the time. Karly keeps sitting but hasn't gone. They have gone maybe 3 times a piece since starting. I potty train as part of my job and this year we've potty trained 12 children and I can't even train my own haha. Oh well. When they are ready they'll do I guess.

~Allergies~
Karly is having some issues with possible food allergies. We aren't sure what's causing it because she hasn't had anything different which means she just developed it. I will talk to the dr today about having the allergy testing done. We've already had it done before and they were allergic to nothing. We'll see what's changed. We were thinking oranges, but haven't given her any and she is still breaking out in a rash. I hope on hope that it isn't egg. Everything is made with egg. Everything she eats has egg in it. Her face is very very red this morning. She had half a bagel and a few bites of eggs.

~Vacation~
We are getting very excited for vacation. At first we didn't know how it was going to work. Now that we have the new car (which we LOVE), we want to go now. It's just nice to get away from here and not work or drop the girls off in daycare. We look forward to spending tons of time with them and its only three months away!

Saturday..

2011-02-26T19:56:00.000-08:00

The sun was shining and it wasn't that cold outside so I bundled the girls up and we took a walk to our neighborhood park. It was nice because we were the only ones there and they girls got to explore their favorite place. It's been months since we've been to the park. It was fun to see how much they've grown since the last time we were here. I didn't have to worry as much because their gross motor skills have definately matured. They played on the swings and the slide, hid underneath and ran around. Once we were done with the park (it started to feel cold), we went around the corner to visit Daddy at work. The girls held my hand on the way to see Daddy but on the way home they wanted to hold each others hands so I walked behind. I was so cute watching them walk together.

We went home and I got the girls a snack and some milk and then they went down for a nap. At 2 I picked Donald up from work and we headed the hour to the dealership. Once there, we had to pick out a car to test drive. We immediately chose the Fiesta. The Fiesta was popular in the 70's but faded away. This year, Ford revamped it and it's the "new" car. I loved it, Donald loved and the payments were perfect. We traded in our Elantra and we thought we were good to go. However, I didn't realize that I forgot the title so I had to write a check for the trade in value of the Elantra and give it to them. They have a very large check. I'm going to bring in the title on Tuesday but now I have to get out of work. I have to be at work so we'll see what that is going to bring. Anyway, we got to bring our car home and it only took 6 hours. Heres some pics I took tonight.

Katie..

2011-02-23T17:03:00.000-08:00

Katies Child-Study Team called and they wanted to schedule a meeting with us to start her transition into the public school system. A bus will come pick her up the town I work in (where she goes to DC) and bus her to the public school in our town then bus her back.

So for 3-4 hours I won't know where she is. She's my baby and she will of just turned 3. Then came the irrational fear that once she turns 3 and her therapy stops, she won't get the help she needs and she will fall behind again. UGH

The good news is I talked to her Occupational Therapist today and she said she didn't think she'd need additional therapy. She said that even though she showed regression last week she showed a lot more progress this week. She also said that she may need the speech therapy but being that she's only had 2 sessions in over a month, she thought that maybe once they got more consistent with her sessions, she would be doing much better.

So we turned down the offer to continue therapy in the public school and will end Early Intervention therapies in July. I hope this was the right decision. I want Katie to have every advantage possible in life, not spend it fighting to keep up.

Ramblings ..

2011-02-21T17:20:00.000-08:00

My friend called me this morning and told me she needed to try the "Retail Therapy" I'm always telling her to do. When Don came home from work, she was outside waiting for me. I didn't do too bad. I bought 2 shirts and 2 bras and some unmentionables :). She said she felt better so my job is done.

My diet isn't going so well. I try but I'm not very good about dieting in the winter. I am still working out and dancing with the kids but if you aren't eating right, it isn't going to happen. I'm going to try to be strict this week.

We were going to get our new car today but the snow put a damper on our plans but I called the sales guy and he said he will let us use todays special for next weekend. He said he had several different versions of the car we wanted, we just had to come and pick it out. I hope no one goes and gets it before us. Right now it's between a silver one or a red one. The packages are different so we'll see what we want. The car is the 4 door sedan Ford Fiesta. It is so cute haha.

~ A quick update on Katie and Early Intervention~

Katie has been getting OT for a few weeks now and has been improving but at her last appt she showed regression. During this last session, she laid on the floor face down and wouldn't move. She wouldn't follow any oral directions. I went in and tried to get her to at least get off the floor and she started crying in my arms. I told her I wanted her to play with Ms. Isabel and she ran from me across the room screaming. I left and the OT took her back to her room. She has another session this Wednesday so we are hoping she will start showing progress again.

Her speech therapist saw her once and became ill and had to go on disability so we have another therapist but after one meeting with her, she went on vacation for two weeks, so Katie has had 2 speech sessions in over a month. The therapist did say she would make up some of the missed session with her doing 2 a week. Since Katie doesn't have issues saying words, we are going to work on some sounds that she is missing but the sounds aren't really age appropriate. We are more concerned with her ability to process what she's being told. Also, the therapist notices that she sticks her bottom jaw out so she will be unable to make sounds like the "F" sound as long as she does that. She said we should talk to a dentist

Spending the afternoon in bloggerville :)

2011-02-20T13:20:00.000-08:00

My mom and the girls Video chat through yahoo. It's very cute. Karly is more into it than Katie is. I don't force it. She will join when she's ready.

We went today and we went during the girls naptime instead of doing what I usually do and that's plan the day around naptime. She passed out quickly about 3 on the way home. I do love that they still want and need their naptime. (not to mention mommy still LOVES that they take a nice long nap on the weekends :) )

Karly didn't make it through lunch. She ate her lunch and drank her "soda" (watered down ice tea, unsweetened) but at M&M time, she kind of gave up.

Both girls have colds. I'm curious to see how sick they get now that they've had the surgeries. Fingers crossed that it stays just a runny nose and cough. No. Fevers. Please.

Aside from playing "It Girl" and "Cityvill" on FB, I've been reading blogs and doing nothing. I think I pulled my hamstring so getting up makes me cringe. It really hurts and has for the last two days so while the girls are sleeping, I'm not doing anything.

We went to my friends birthday party last night and half way through she made an announcement: She's having another baby.

Don't get me wrong. I'm really happy for her. I know what a miracle each and every baby is and I appreciate that. However, I would love to mother another. Really, really would. I want another baby and I can't. It doesn't help that my cycle is crazy this month and I'm two weeks late. Donald asked me to take a pregnancy test and I did but seeing the stark white window where the line should of been was a little heartbreaking because I know there is no way I'll ever just get pregnant and say "guess what? I'm pregnant!" For me to have another baby it would cost $$$$$ we don't have and lots of needles and meds and drs appts and u/s's and early mornings driving for more tests ...

I know how blessed I am that I have my girls and I shouldn't be this way but I can't help the big green monster that tries to come out when I hear that someone is having a baby. I have two baby showers coming up and now hers. Three people that I see on a daily basis are having babies and it's hard. Okay vent over haha.

V Day and stuff :)

2011-02-19T19:26:00.000-08:00

Karly has a new habit, to stand directly in front of the tv. This is her spot. You have to constantly remind her to sit down. She's becoming addicted to Toy Story (here she's watching Nemo) but she will ask to watch tv all day and will stand here all day if we let her. She is definately her daddys daughter. She has been doing very well since her surgery. She has a runny nose right now but she is still feeling good, has a good appetite and over all seems well.

Katie has been doing well also. She has a cough and a runny nose but no fever and seems to be feeling okay. She has been a bit sassy and her attitude definately shows haha. She tells us she is a ballerina and a princess. I can't argue with that because she is my little princess. Next year I hope to enroll her into dance classes.
My lil' Valentines. I love them so much. It is so great to have them feeling well and back to life.

This is Katie on the playground at school. She loves running around so I never get a pic of her face but she has a great time.

About two minutes after this photo, Karly fell out of the bumblebee hitting her face on the black top. I grabbed her, comforted her then gave her to her teacher so she could take her to the nurse. The nurse called me in my room to tell me she had an abrasion on the side of her face along with a bump and a cut. All day today she kept telling me how she fell out of the bumblebee and hurt her face.

We scheduled our vacation. It's 3 months and one week away. I'm so excited to be going home. We were going to make other plans for a side trip but the people we were going to see have written us off so we don't know now and don't seem to want to engage in any conversation so that's a major bummer because I was really looking forward to it.

My mom wants us to stay with her a few days. I know she is setting up for us and that's great but I LOVE staying with my grandma. I love her home and I feel so good when I'm there because that is truly my home. I will stay with my mom if she has the room at least for a few days.

I'm just so excited. And we've been looking for a new car. We want to lease. I've looked at several cars so we will see. Monday we are going to look at the Ford Fiesta. Is affordable, very affordable. We'll see.

Surgery Day

2011-02-02T12:18:00.000-08:00

Today was the big day.

We heard over the weekend that there was going to be a nice little winter storm headed our way and could possibly affect our drive Wednesday morning. After much thought and repeat weather checks, we decided to book a hotel and stay close to the Hospital so we were sure to make it safely . Our hotel was 1.5 miles from the hospital. Perfect location. We checked in at 9pm, girls were bathed and dressed for bed while we were at home so they were already prepared for bed. It took about an hour to get them to settle down and go to sleep but when we did, this is what we go :)

We got up at 4:30 am. I fell asleep sometime after midnight, yes I was anxious. Donald got up around 3 to check on the weather. Ice everywhere. We departed at 5:15 and had to be at the hospital at 6:15. We arrived a little after 6. Did I mention we were 1.5 miles away from the hospital? I'm so glad we decided to stay at the hotel. The girls checked in and registered. Katies surgery was at 7:15 and Karlys was at 8. Our times were delayed by an hour so we had to hang out in the play room. The girls had a blast. They were the only little ones. The other children were older and stayed in their rooms. I guess they didn't know the room contained a Wii and daddy and the girls had a great time.

Two hour is a long time to wait and we got bored while running around in the playroom (tough gig) so we headed back to our room and watched some Dora and Umizoomi. They were getting hungry and cranky and they only wanted mommy. So we sat cuddled together until they called us back. Daddy was able to snap a picture of the three of us watching cartoons.

Finally a little after 8, Katie was called back. I stayed with Karly and Donald took Katie to her room. He said she slowly went to sleep. While he was telling me, he choked up and started tearing up. That truly is the hardest part for us. Here s a pic of daddy all ready to go.

Katies surgery was quick. They came in and told me that she was fine and all went well. Donald went to recovery to be with her while I stayed with Karly. Karly went back abouut 20 to 9. She fought and screamed while they gassed her. When she went to sleep I had to leave. They put her on a breathing tube and an IV. When she came out of surgery, they wouldn't let us see her because she needed a bit of oxygen. Once she was stable, I got to hold her where she slept for an hour. Once she woke up, she freaked out. Started pulling all her wires and screaming. There was no calming her down. The nurse ended up giving her morphine so she could take her IV out. Once everyone was calm, Karly drank two full cups of apple juice and some applesauce. They were very happy with that.
Once everyone was done, we sat in the room and got dressed, watched the cartoons then went back to the playroom where we ran around like nothing happened.

We left the hospital at 12:30.

Thanks to the Lord for a great day.

Spring, Spring Please hurry up :)

2011-01-30T18:33:00.000-08:00

Our area has gotten 56 ihnches of snow since Christmas and 38 inches just in January. I can't take anymore snow. I want to see green, take my kids to the park and just go for a walk.

I really have nothing to blog about but I'm watching the SAG awards and thought I'd stop in and read some blogs and blog a bit here.

The girls surgery is on Wednesday and guess what we are getting on Wednesday? Another winter storm. Their surgery cannot be postponed. We have to be there. Should be interesting.

Thsi is going to be a weird week for me. I'm going to have to juggle work and being a mom to two kids who will need me 24/7. I think I've figured it out. I'm going to work all day Monday and Tuesday, take off Wednesday and then work half days Thursday and Friday. Trying to be off of work to care for them and take them to all of their appointments and trying to keep my boss happy has proven to be difficult but you do what you have to do.

I didn't realize that Christian Bale had an accent .. Hmmm sounds good but I don't like his facial hair. He was good looking in Batman :) Donald just told me he's British .. I had no idea haha

Okay I really have nothing else to add.

Girls are still sick. Katie was sent home with a 103 fever on Friday (ear infection), Karly was seen as well while we were at the dr she has an ear infection as well. Both are on Omnicet? Katie had a fever all Friday and most of Saturday until it broke Saturday night. She is a cranky beast lol. She is being bossy and sassy and my oh my I hope she gets it out of her system before she is in her teens or we are in trouble lol. Karly is just hanging out. She's quiet at times then she's loud. You can tell she doesn't feel well.

I can't wait for my babies to recover and get back to normal.

I'm sick of sickness :(

2011-01-24T17:43:00.000-08:00

Dec 21st - Karly is Dx with Ear Infection. Doc said it was viral so no treatments were given.
Dec 23rd- Karlys fever spikes. Doc gives antibiotic
Dec 25th- Karlys fever spikes again. Sent to ER, ruptured ear drum, shot given
Dec 26th- Another shot
Jan 3rd - Ear infection back. Antibiotics given.
Jan 10th- Ear looks better still red though.
Jan 14th- Karly sent home with 101 fever. Ear infection back. Antibiotics given.
Jan 24th- Karly sent home 103 fever. Visit to ENT. Bad ear infection. Adnoids very swollen.

Sooooo.....

ENT today said that Karlys ears are infected, she needs to remain on antibiotcs and she's having surgery to put tubes in her ears and having her adnoids removed. She can't breathe because they are so swollen.

AND because that's not enough to worry about..

Katie is having surgery to reinsert the tubes because her infection last month pushed them out.

Surgeries take place on Wednesday Feb 2nd. I'm worried and scared. Anethesia scares me and I worry about the girls being put under.

I know they will be fine. I know the Lord will watch over them and care for them and be their guardian.

"I'm a ballerina" ..

2011-01-17T09:44:00.000-08:00

.. Katie said to me as she plopped down to play with her dinosaurs. Karly spent her entire morning caring for her babies and cooking in her kitchen. My babies are turning into little ladies faster than I care to admit.

Last night I sat down after they went to bed and put their pictures in order. Looking back at all the photos, 2.5 years worth, you realize that although you and everyone else say it time and time again, time really does fly. They turn 3 this year. 3!! That's just crazy.

Katherine starts OT on Wednesdays and we are still waiting to set up speech. She talks very well but there a few sounds she hasn't got right but we aren't worried about that. What we are going to work on is her inability to answer questions correctly and to process directions shes being given. Right now when we ask her a question, she'll repeat or just say yes or no and she gets nervous. When you ask her to do something like "Clean up Katie" she will stare at you and go do something else. However, when you say "Clean up Katie" as you clean up, she will start cleaning up. Every direction needs a hand signal or a gesture. You ask her to go get a diaper and she will go towards the diapers but stop and bring you something else instead. We have to follow her and keep her on task so she doesn't forget. They have a very positive outlook that she will be fine in July. If she still needs help, we will go through the school system to continue getting her the help she needs.

Okay :)

2011-01-05T18:39:00.000-08:00

My problem about working out was finding the time, right?

Then I realized that I work with a bunch of energy balls and what do wonderfully active 2 year olds want to do? Move!

The light went toff. Why not have 2-1/2 hour moments where we just bust out to fun music? Well? Why not?

Exactly.

Parents love it and tease me with saying they are bringing in a video camera. I bring in shakers, streamers, rhythm sticks and we throw in some fun aerobic moves for them to follow. We march, jog in place, squats, jumpin jacks, high kicks, lunges and it's all to music. It is so much fun and watching them attempt or even do is funny. I have one that watches me intently then follows my every move. And at the end of my day, I've had an hour of cardio and the kids have had a lot of fun.

I know it's working because my legs are feeling it and I've lost a pound :) Yay!!

_______________________________

Girls got their first "report" from daycare. Katherine put her sister in a head lock and started smacking her in the head. When I talked to her about it, she grabbed me and said "I love you so much" I had to push her back and say 'I love you too but you don't hit your sister" Karly was walking around saying "Katherine hit me, Katherine hit me" ..

and the girls like peas :) LOVE peas haha

Hoping everyone is enjoying the first week of the New Year.

Welcome 2011!

2011-01-01T15:43:00.000-08:00

So it's a New Year. As a rule I don't make resolutions, I don't make big plans for the New Year BUT this year I want to do several things.

I want to stop being the run down, always exhausted, naraotic person that I've become. Okay, so I may continue to be naraotic, it's just my nature but I want to let lose and enjoy what I have more.

I want to stop concentrating on those who obviously do not want me in their lives, which is evident by me trying to reach out and getting barely anything in return. There are a few.

I want to get back into shape. I LOVE working out. I LOVE aerobics. I LOVE all those fitness videos, weights, running, taking long walks and swimming. What I don't like is finding the time to do said things. I know some of my friends wake up at 530 in the morning and go for a 2 hour run. Then get ready for work. My day starts at 6:30 AM and ends at 9:30 PM. The girls are usually in bed by 8, then it's dishes, clean, prepare for the next day, make lunches and get ready for bed. I then sit on my butt and watch my favorite shws ( i have 4 ) and then its lights out. I need to find a way to fit it in and if it means getting up earlier, that's what I'm going to do.

I want to care about what I look like. I don't do my hair or makeup anymore. I used to never leave the house not looking my best but now I do the bare minimum. I want to lose the belly that I got during pregnancy. I want to get back to pre-pregnancy by June. That would be nice and it's only 17 pounds. Once I'm there, I'll make a new goal.

Those are my resolutions, we'll see if I get there. :)

Girls didn't make it to New Years last night. Karly fell asleep around 930 and Katie passed out around 1130. I went to bed with Karly and woke up just as Katie fell asleep.

Happy New Year Eve :)

2010-12-31T12:21:00.000-08:00

Right now the girls are running around the living room yelling "Clean up Clean up" but they aren't doing much cleaning .. It's pretty darn cute :)

Girls are going to bring in the New Years their happy goofy-selves. Love.

I'm never happy to see a year gone. I think everyone enjoyed themselves. We had a lot of fun, nothing too bad happened. We had a great vacation home and took a trip to AC (which we enjoyed). We celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary and the girls turned 2. I know next year has a ton of new things for us to enjoy and to celebrate and I'm excited.

Katie was approved for OT and PT. She'll get each for 45/minutes, once a week. They were going to add a behavioral therapist but she doesn't have any behavorial issues. They just wanted to stay on top of it because some children who have these issues tend to act out and misbehave but we decided that Katie may become overwhelmed if she's pulled out of her classroom 3 times a week and with 3 different people every week when one isnt really needed but if she does end up needing it, they'll bring him/her in.

A very busy day ..

2010-12-29T20:03:00.000-08:00

All my days are exhausting but some seem busier than others.

Today my assistant left early so I was basically on my own. I had a helper but she isn't into our routine so everything was go with the flow. The children were so hyped up. Class counts have been low due to the Holiday but we had 10 out of 14 today.

This afternoon it was evident that the kids needed some big time physical activity so we broke out the dancing scarves and some fun dance tunes (hokey pokey, cotton eye joe, crazy bus etc) and we just had some good ole fun. I really enjoyed dancing silly with the children. I think I get caught up in all the other parts of my job (running the room and making sure everything is going to plans) that I forget to just relax and have fun.

I left half an hour early so I could take the girls to the dr. They needed a follow up to the Christmas ER visit and I didn't make it yesterday so we went tonight. I took me an hour and 15 minutes to get there (usually it's 1/2 an hour). This snow is terrible! They are taking it out in dump trucks but it's still everywhere.

Katie is fine. Her coughing is caused by post nasal drip. She will continue Pulmicort for 3 more weeks and will get benedryl to help with PND while she sleeps. Her cough sounds phegmy but dr said her lungs are clear. No wheezing and whistling so that's good news.

Karlys ear is still red on the inside. The membrane is ruptured and we aren't sure if it will heal of if she needs to see an ENT. They said she may need a hearing test to see if her hearing was affected by the rupture. I wish the dr would of listened to me and would of given her antibiotics when I asked for them. She seems so much better though. She's happy and eating and having fun at school.

We are really looking forward to another three day weekend but this one is going to be a healthy one :)

Happy New Year!

The Month of December..

2010-12-27T18:55:00.000-08:00

December has been crazy but we got it done.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas. We did, even though Karly wasn't feeling well.

Katie was evaluated by Early Intervention and we found out that she is delayed in many areas. She is advanced in Cognitive and Fine Motor. Her Receptive and Emotional Communication is delayed, her Gross Motor is delayed and her Self Care is seriously delayed. She can do it, she just doesn't. She wants to go to school but fights getting ready.

The good news is, is that is totally fixable. After a few months, we should see improvements so we are in very high spirits. I teared up but I'm an emotional sap of a person haha.

We are very happy with all she is learning. She knows all her colors, shapes, numbers and letters by sight. She can sort shapes and colors and has a great memory. The therapists told us that they believe her to be a very bright child. However, if she can't communicate it, nobody will know so we are going to work on communication.

Karly has been sick for what seems like forever. She vomited on Sunday morning then started running a fever. She had a fever the weekend before and the week before that but dr said it was just a virus. I felt like this was going to be the same. I called the dr on Monday because her temp was almost 104 and she said to bring her in. I brought her in and she was dx with an ear infection and a throat infection. Dr said throat was probably viral so didn't prescribe anything. Her fever was low monday night and Tuesday but Tuesday night it went back to 104. I called dr back and she said to bring her in. Her ear was full of red/yellow/green/white fluid. Dr said ear infection was bacterial and she needed antibiotics. We started them on wednesday afternoon and her fever started to go down. During Christmas dinner, her fever went back up t 103.7. I called the pedi again and she said to go to the ER. So we did. They found a signifcant amount of blood in her ear and said the membrane had ruptured. He gave Karly a shot and said she needed to come back the next day for another. She's recieved both shots and seems so much better. She doesn't scream when I try to clean her ear so that's a good sign. They said because she's young her ear should heal all the way and the dr apologized for not listening to me.

They are both going to school tomorrow. I didn't want to take them out being that we just had a blizzard and there is over 2 feet of snow outside but Katie has been crying to go to school since Friday and Karly hasn't been to school in 10 days and really wants to go so we will go. It's a short week, only three days then we'll be home again for 3.

Work is the same. Still working 45 hours/week. It's very tiring but I love that the girls are there and that they are getting a good education while I work.

Overall things are going good. I'm hoping for a few weeks of good health, though :)

I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas and a very Happy New Year to all.

Tina

Happy Holidays ..

2010-12-12T14:59:00.000-08:00

Is this life mine?

2010-11-21T05:49:00.000-08:00

Sure we don't get to take as many vacations, see as many movies, go out on dinner dates or get enough sleep, but do you know what my morning consisted of? Making scrambled eggs and toast with my daughters helping, eating together and then sitting on the couch with my coffee as my kids ran around playing, one of which had her wonder woman costume over her pjs. Now my husband as them both on his lap reading to them.

Had to take a break for wonder woman. What was I saying..

Oh yeah so this life is pretty stinkin' awesome.

Today I made them little baby beds out of brown boxes (can't wait for Christmas so they can have the real thing) so they are pushing their boxes around the house with their babies inside.

Three years ago we found out that after 47 months of trying, we were going to be parents of a beautiful baby. Little did we know...

It's been a fun couple of weeks .....

2010-11-19T18:06:00.000-08:00

The girls have been sick, sick, sick. Nothing serious but everytime I think they are well ore are getting better, we go to the dr to get their flu shot just to find out that they have something else. I am very thankful that other than Katies severe Respitory Infection, we haven't had anything serious..

They have been learning a lot. Their new favorite book is "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" which is great because it happens to be one of my all time favorite books.

Work is going good. I still feel really busy but I have a GREAT bunch of kids this year. They are a delight to spend each day with. I'm back to feeling more in control and I like that.

It's been 3 years..

2010-11-04T18:06:00.000-07:00

It's been three years, wanna catch up, read here.

We know how it ended up. I love my little miracles.

Pumpkin Picking, etc :)

2010-10-22T18:28:00.000-07:00

We went pumpkin picking :) The girls had a great time. We got a very cute pumpkin.

Look! A photo of me :) Enjoy! haha

The girls have been doing well in school, when they haven't been sick. Two weeks ago, Karly had 105 fever for 5 days, turned out to be Roseola. Since then she has been very cranky, irritable and throws about 22 tantrums a day. However, when I drop her off at school, she has a good time. We think she's spoiled :)

Katies speech has been getting better but I'm still on the fence for early intervention. I have to decide soon. She does so well at school. She has a good time, plays with her friends and loves her teachers. She goes in, hangs up her jacket, kisses my goodbye and runs off to play.

Karly is the same way but she isn't playing much with other kids. However, she loves her teachers and has her favorite areas to play in. She is learning so much.

I get to see them when they are outside and I love watching them run around. When it's time to go in, they come up to me, give me a hug and kiss and go in with their teachers. My heart swells with pride at how far they've come along. I love them so much.

This weekend I am at a NAECY Convention and Expo. We go every year. My boss pays for it, the trip and hotel stay. It's in Atlantic City. My husband used to go along and spend his time in the casino and malls while I sat in conferencs. Now he takes the girls on walks, spends some time on the beach and they spend the day togethr. We arrived tonight, registerd and hung around the room. I have to be up at 530 to get ready and meet my boss in the lobby by 8. Conferences last all day and I always have something great to take back to my kids at the center. Should be fun.

this and that

2010-10-05T18:24:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile.
We've been surviving. The girls had an awful bout of illness. It seemed like they were going to be sick forever. Karly had an ear infection, Katie had a cold then Katie had a double ear infection and Karly had a bad cold then they were both being watched for croup... BUT we are all better. Just a hint of a runny nose.

We were able to catch a weekend where the girls seemed to feel well enough to spend the day picking apples. It helped that we chose a day that was 80 degrees out. You can tell by the way they are dressed that I didn't realize it was going to be so warm out but we had a great day.

Karly ate so many apples. She wasn't wasting them. She was chowing down but would drop it in the dirt. We'd find another small one, rinse it off and give it to her and she'd start chowing down again.

Katie wouldn't eat any of the apples until we picked a green one called a greening. That one was so tart but oh so good. She ate the whole thing.

They loved picking the apples. Most of the ones we have are the ones the girls picked.

Katie had some trouble trying to get them off the vines and she fell a few times but she never gave up.

School is going great. The girls have learned so much in the short time they've been there. They want to go and they want to learn. It makes me so proud to say that. They grasp what they are learning and they tell me about it on the way home from school. We continue the theme they are learning when we are at home. Tonight we went over C words. I am going to put up the alphabet in their room along with numbers and colors.

They have a terrific time on the playground and it is the only part of the day where I really get to see them.

2 sick monkeys :(

2010-09-15T19:05:00.000-07:00

My monkeys are sick.

Katie has a respitory infection or a virus. She is very congested, has a yucky cough and a constantly running nose. She needs her nebulizer, benedryl, prednisone and if not better by Saturday, she'll be getting an antibiotic.

Karly has a cold and an ear infection. She has been started on an antibiotic.

I feel bad for my little ones but you wouldn't know they are sick.

Katie is a bit irritable and crabby when she gets sleeping but Karly is happy as can be. She wakes up crying, I'm guessing it's from pain. Tonight I gave her tylenol to ease any pain.

We have all fingers and toes crossed for a good nights sleep ( haven't had one of those for awhile).

(those of you that are used to getting comments on your blogs from me, if you haven't been getting them, it's not letting me. I keep getting "service unavailable" messages. Am I the only one?)

Oh Boy..

2010-09-14T19:10:00.000-07:00

The girls are sick.

The other day Katies nose started running, she was coughing and didn't feel well.

Today, Karlys teacher said she didn't eat any lunch and woke up screaming at naptime. When we were on our way home from school, she vomited..twice.. I was disgusting :(
She kept crying "momma cween, cween" . If you know NJ traffic, then you know there was no where for me to stop or pull over until we got home. I had nothing to clean her with but a few wipes but I called Donald and told him to meet me outside with a roll of wet paper towels.

I had to take the entire carseat apart, wash it and put it back together so I can take them to the dr tomorrow night.

Katies cough is worse and both of their noses are running pretty constant.

I don't know what the dr will do but I cannot miss any days in september so It's important for them to be well and at school so what harm could a trip to the dr do?

Well that didn't take long..

2010-09-13T17:22:00.000-07:00

Katie is sick :(. Her nose is running, she's coughing and not sleeping well. I gave her some cough and cold (it's homepathic, no medicine in it) and rubbed vicks on her feet with socks and sent her to bed.

Driving home tonight (they had another great day at school) they were in the back seat singing a song they learned today in school. It was so cute. They were even counting to 10. They've been counting for a few weeks now but they mess it up. Not today. It was perfect.

I love how the teachers at school "love" them. All I hear is how cute they are and that they are so good. It makes a mommy feel pretty darn good.

I wuve you too mom ..

2010-09-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

Sweeter words have never been spoken.

Last weekend we decided to go to the park. It was late, 730 ish and it was getting dark but there is this beautiful park in our town right on the Hudson with a magnificant few of Manhattan. We love it there. The girls played with the other children while Donald and I watched the girls and enjoyed the views.

When it was time to leave, Katie was tired and wanted me to carry her to the car. She wrapped herself around and squeezed so I squeezed her back and said "I love you, Katie". She replied "I wuve you too, mama". Tears ..

Since that weekend, she tells me everyday. Karly has started saying it too, It's great. I love them so much and I know they love me but I love hearing it.

I also love how big they are getting. Just one week of school and Donald and I are amazed by how much more they communicate with us. Karly has started using sentences. She says "Read this, mommy", "Another one, pease", "There it is!", "Here I am", "Here ya gooo" and so on. It is really cute.

Katie speech is a little concerning to ME but not to her teacher, my director, friends or family. She talks non stop. You can make out what she says most of the time but it's not right. Karly talks like a toddler but Katie more babbles out her words. "Play" is "way", "Eat" is "eee" but "Pony D" is "Pony D", so I don't know.. We are going to wait until October to make the call.

The girls named their "lovies". Karly has called her duck "D" since she could talk. We were calling him "ducky" but she just started calling him "Dee". Katie just recently started calling hers "Pony Dee". It was cute.

They've also just started coming up to me and lounging on me. I love this most of all. When I'm sitting on the couch, they come sit next to me, drape their legs over mine and lay their head on my shoulder and look up at me. We will just sit and talk for many minutes. I rub their hair, they name all my facial parts, such a precious time for me and I love each second they sit there before they are up and off again.

9-11-01

2010-09-11T11:28:00.001-07:00

I had gotten up and walked to the phone to answer it. My boyfriend was on the other line telling me not to panic, he'll be home soon. He asked me if I was afraid. I had no idea what he was talking about. He told me that two plans had just crashed in to the WTC and that NYC was under attack.

I had just moved here two months before. My grandpa had just died on the 28th of August and now here I was, living right across the river from Manhattan, a city that was under terroist attack.

When Donald got home, we walked up the block and the tower had already collapsed. There was smoke, so much smoke. People were trying to get home. People were standing around us, some crying, some just staring in disbelief. I was one of them.

We were JUST there. We took a trip to Manhattan to go to the Seaport and when we were done, Donald said "lets go see the towers" . We walked FOREVER. I remember once we got there I was overwhelmed. They were beautiful. I grew up in a small town. NYC is an amazing city. I sat on a bench and I leaned back to stare up at them. I had to use that restroom so we went inside. The building was beautiful. Simply beautiful and there we stood, by the river, watching in horror as the scene went on.

We took pictures thinking it was a piece of history we wanted to capture. I developed them but haven't looked at them.

The smell that blanketed our area was that of burnt metal and decay. You could only imagine what you were breathing in. So many people were killed. Nobody knew what was going to happen.

I will always remember that day.

The first week .. check!

2010-09-11T05:29:00.000-07:00

The first week is done.

The girls did so well. They cried on Thursday when I dropped them off and Katie cried off and on throughout the day but Friday they were over the crying and had a good day.

I was sure that Karly would have trouble in school. At home, she doesn't really like to follow the rules but at school she's a perfect angel. She sits when shes told to sit, she eats all of her lunch, she holds the walking rope, she washes her hands...Katie, on the other hand, is giving the teachers a "run for their money". She is so good at home, so quiet, does what we ask but at school she refuses to hold the walking rope, talks during naptime, plays during circle .. Its normal behavior and I'm not concerned, I just think it's funny how opposite they are between home and school.

I had a pretty good day yesterday. Thursday was rough but a little better and Friday was very good. I had an occassional crier but for the most part they were well behaved and we had fun.

We have to go find winter coats for the kids. Last year I waited until it was already cold outside and we couldnt find anything we like. Donald found some cute ones at Marshalls on Tuesday so we are going today to try them on (if they are still there) and get them.

Ugh

2010-09-08T19:09:00.000-07:00

Today was exhausting. Physically, emotionally and mentally. Today just sucked. I had 6 teachers in my room trying to calm down all of the screaming children. A was screaming and it was setting all the others off. Once again, he leaves and the class goes calm.

I have raging PMS. It's awful. I don't mean to be bitchy but I am. I have been keeping it in and this it lashes out quickly. It's like an ugly monster that tries to get out and I'm stuck in a classroom with 13 children, half of which are screaming. My assistant said "are you okay? your patience seems to be on a very short string" Great. It's obvious.

I'm feeling a little better and I have a game plan for tomorrow.

The issue is with my schedule and the childrens. My director wants me to start morning circle time at 9 am. I have 10 children that are schedule to show up no earlier than 9. By the time they get dropped off and are ready to start circle, its snack time. So for the last 2 days, I haven't done circle.

Well today I tried. I sat down to start and A came over and vomited on me. It was a great start to the day.

~~~~

The girls had a day too. Apparently, they try to kick the teacher when she tries to change their diaper. They have never kicked us so I don't understand why but also I heard the teacher yelling at Katie to get on the walking rope. I've known the girls teacher for 9 years so it's not a trust issue and I understand being frustrated but today I was having a very rough day and I didn't yell at any of my kids so I'm not getting it. I just don't want to think of my babies being yelled at at school. they are supposed to be

The first day of school..

2010-09-07T16:00:00.000-07:00

I told you I would blog about the girls first day of school and well .. here it is. In pictures and words :) Here we are outside our front door. Lovin' the garage pails behind them.

Here Katie is pouting because she wants to walk to the park, not get in the car ..

When we got to school, we went to my classroom because we were early and their class wasn't open yet. They hung out until 810, then we went to their room.

Katie loved playing with the barn doors. She was so thrilled just being able to walk around and look at all the toys.

They had so much fun and didn't even notice I had left. Daddy stayed with them for another 20 minutes. He said Katie told him to go lol.

I got to see them when we all went to the playground. Katie was playing in the sandbox and Karly was running around.

The girls had a fantastic day. There was no crying and they are learning the letter A. Of course everything we asked them tonight was "No" but I know they had a good time as they didn't want to leave.

I feel like I've raised secure, indepedent children and it feels pretty darn good. (although I'm worried tomorrow will go differently being that they already told us "no" to going back lol)

My day at work was not as great. I have a lot of kids new to school. What I got was 12 screaming children who didn't want to calm down. The screamed and screamed and screamed. I thought I was going to lose it, then it was naptime. My assistant and I managed to get all of them to sleep. After about 20 minutes, one of them woke up screaming again. Not crying, screaming. His mother called and I asked her to pick him up. He wasn't eating, drinking or playing. He was just crying. He had been crying for 5 hours and although I believe he needed to be there, he was past the point of calming down so he needed his mom.

Once he was gone, everyone was happy. It was one child, one screaming child, that caused all the other children to cry. The afternoon was beautiful. Except for one adorable little boy (who had just flown in from bulgaria the night before, was jet lagged .. on his birthday .. ), he cried everytime someone came in the room, everyone was happy. We did some painting, some story times, some learning centers... just perfect :) This is going to be a great year (once A stops screaming, making everyone else in the room scream).

"Last" day of summer..

2010-09-06T05:26:00.000-07:00

My first and only thought today is that the girls start school tomorrow. I spent all weekend cleaning purging everything we didn't need. This is going to be a good year. I have a great list of children (16 2 year olds) but I know half of them and they are all good, really good kids. So my blog will now consist of the girls day at school (In their own room) and my day.

It's amazing the transitioin this blog has made. When I started it back in April 07, I had already felt so much heartache with my attempt to become a mom, a heartache I continued to feel until November of that year and now I sit here with my beautiful daughters as they watch Dora and I blog.

Last night we tried on their first day of school outfits and it seemed that they lost all baby with one outfit. When we changed them into pjs, they still had the big girl look. We always see them as babies. They are our babies. However, they have grown up into beautiful toddlers.

So they start tomorrow. Donald is going with me to help out. I need him to be there. I'm not sure how the morning is going to go. I need to go in and open my classroom and drop the girls off in the same half hour. I'm thinking of leaving early and letting the girls hang out in my room while i set it up then bringing them to their classroom. My children don't arrive until 830, the girls go to their room at 820, so I will get 10 minutes of quiet time before the day starts. Not too bad.

I have to close right now, going over to a coworkers house for lesson plan writing and the girls can play with her kids. I'll get so much more accomplished.

Until tomorrow night...if I have the energy to blog that is :)

I'm done :)

2010-09-01T18:35:00.000-07:00

It only took 3-12 hour days but the transformation from Preschool-storage-Toddler Room has happened. I wish I took before pictures but picture a bunch of boxes, files, posters that littered the tables, floors and every other surface (including cubbies). There was also a crib and assorted infant equipment. It was a mess. (not to mention the dust and there were spiders! I don't do well with spiders) Here is the finished product. I am very pleased.

This is the front door. You can see part of the block area and the art area and cubbies, also the back of the library area.

This is the dramatic play area. Dress up, babies and a kitchette with tons of dishes and food.

The back of the Math area and the tables.

The block area, writing area and tables.

The learning wall. I am excited to introduce "Froggy" the weather Frog and my "All About The Alphabet" Chart.

I am very proud of this room. It was a lot of work but it's done and I can spend the next 5 days with my family.

Zoo sans Stroller

2010-08-29T17:31:00.000-07:00

Katie on the duck

Our adorable little tour guide, Karly

Daddy and his girls

The girls were looking at the "guins".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today we did the unthinkable..at least to parents of twin toddlers. We went to the zoo and left the stroller in the car. We felt that we would be making a trip back to the car for the stroller but the girls hate sitting so much and they love to walk around so we went with it. We packed up our rarely used eddie bauer diaper backpack ( a gift to donald before the girls were born) and headed out.

The girls did so great. They didn't run off, they loved walking up to the attractions at free will, it was just great. They are really well behaved, which if anyone knows me, knew that I was ready to never take them out in public again.

They would run off, in opposite directions, laugh, lay on the floor, crawl around, run through ppls legs .. just awful. However, we continued to take them out, made constant apologies and it worked out. They were very well behaved.

Anyway, we walked around for 2.5 hours. It was hot so we took breaks (there were few toddler play areas between attractions) so they could have some running time and we sat and had a snack of water and animal crackers (what better, right?).

It was a great day. I forgot to add the pictures before typing so they were all up top, I hope you enjoyed. They are getting so big and of course I think they are beautiful.

The last day of school..

2010-08-27T16:08:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day with my kids. I've been with them for a year and it's time for them to move on to a new classroom. I spent the day cleaning up the classroom, trying to close it out for the new teacher that will take over the room in Sept, spending time with the kids, talking to parents, a pizza and snack party and getting gifts. One parent gave me a $75 GC to Starbucks lol. Guess she knows I like my green tea fraps. I didn't enjoy the day as much as one would because last night, at 745, I had my broken wisdom tooth pulled :(

Yep, I finally had the broken tooth pulled and darn it, it hurt. My face hurts, my jaw hurts and I'm hungry for food and something cold to drink. I hope it heals quickly.

On Monday, I get to move into my new classroom. Theres a history with this room. In October 2001, I was hired by my present employer. From that time until Sept 2002, I worked in a variety of age groups and different rooms. In Sept 2002, I was told I would be an assistant in Room 8. I spent the year in Room 8. In is a small room in the back of the buildings with the windows (floor to ceiling) facing the playgrounds. It is painted yellow and white ( a very nice soft yellow) and is not square, it has a unique shape. I spent a year assistanting the teacher the next two Septs I was placed as an assistant in another room so I missed the room. The I recieved a promotion and was told to set up in room 8. Spent the next 2 years there. In 2007, I was moved to a horrible small middle room, blue with no windows. I ended up pregnant and went out on maternity. This year I worked as lead teacher in new room but This Sept, I'm back in room 8 and could not be happier. I can't wait to set it up. Right now it's a storage room so I have to clean it out but I'm so ready :)

Girls start school in one week!!!

It's late but I haven't posted so here is a useless one :)

2010-08-25T18:59:00.000-07:00

Girls start school very soon! I'm super excited.

I have two more days with the children in my class then they move on. I have mixed feelings. They were a tough group BUT I've had them since the were 2 and they are now 4 turning 5 so It's time. Still, it's hard. After a few months, without realizing it, they become MY kids that leave to sleep then come back. I have them during most of their wakeful periods. Anyway, it's good they are moving on but I will miss them.

I am going back to Toddlers. So exciting! I love working with Toddlers. I get to set up my new classroom..yes my NEW classroom starting Monday. I can't wait.

A few days ago, a piece of my top wisdom tooth broke off and now a lot of it broke off. I went to the dentist today and she used words like "difficult extraction" and "oral surgery". So tomorrow at 630 (pm) I willl arrive at the dentist and we will begin getting this tooth out. In the meantime I've been given motrin and an antibiotic. It's cutting up my mouth so I'm thankful it's soon.

The girls are counting to 10. 10!! They are so eager to learn. They know their colors, shapes and now their numbers. I am still worried about Katies speech. The more she learns to talk, the more words she learns, the more I see she is going to need therapy. I keep waiting though, not sure why. I may call them tomorrow.

Beach Babies :)

2010-08-15T17:45:00.000-07:00

We have had a terrific summer. We had a two week vacation in June and the rest of the weekends we've been at the beach. Every Sunday. New Jersey has its downs but an up is all you have to do is drive half an hour and you are at a beach. We drive a little farther to Seven Presidents and we have a blast. The girls didn't like it at first but I think you can see by todays pictures that they are definately starting to enjoy the beach. When we were unloading the car today, Karly yelled out "Beach! Beach!" It as too cute. Enjoy the pics.

To teach or to pour coffee?

2010-08-12T16:14:00.000-07:00

I was judged today by a Starbucks employee. She said "Do you work at the Daycare around the corner?" -- Lets start there. First, a Daycare is where you send your child when you have to work. The childcare providers play with your child and care for him/her until you are done working and you pick them up.

I have to spend my week writing lesson plans to match a curriculum that my boss provides. I have to teach letters, numbers, math, reading, writing and science. We go over transportation and community helpers, ocean and the ocean life. We explore Space-the planets, constellations and galaxies. I spend my nights surfing the web looking for idea after idea.

"Yes, I work at the Learning Center around the corner." "Can I go in and pick up an application?" "To apply for a job or to enroll your child into the center?" **scoff** "To enroll my child."

Umm.. You're judging me? I may not have some big shot job, but I teach children and you pour coffee. My coffee. Okay, vent over.