The Third Trimester!!!!!

The third trimester starts this week! Holy Cow where did the time go? According to the ticker at the top of this page I am 7 months!!!!! We have 10 weeks to go until our goal of 37w and 3d. Needless to say, my hubby and I never dreamed we'd make it this far. We have been truely blessed by God. Why we had to suffer infertility, I do not know. Why it took us so long to concieve, I do not know. Although the pain is still there, I'm proud of what I made it through. I'm proud that I was strong enough to overcome it and I know where the strength came from. So, although God didn't give me infertility, God didn't make me suffer, he gave me courage to go through and paved a way to the resources I needed to have a baby (babies) and I am blessed. Praise the Good Lord Almighty!!

Information Overload...

To bank or not to bank babys cord blood? To use BPA-free bottles or are others okay? Should I vaccinate? Will the vaccination give my babies autism? Do I use the bumper? Should I use the sleep positioners? I'm not this kind of person. I don't read things and freak out. I go with my gut but all of this information and the fact that the health of my babies may be at risk? And I'm responsible? AAAAAH!!!

There is too much to think about. Lets see, to bank or not to bank. About 1% of cord blood is actually used. So, following that, I'll probably never use it and can save a few thousand dollars. BUT what if I fall in that 1% and my baby needs it and I didn't bank it. Would I hate myself? Probably. Would I blame myself? Definately. Should I do it? I don't know....

BPA bottles. I have never seen someone not use a bottle because of this. At first I was thinking this is another way to freak people out and cause hysterics and I registered for The First Years "Breastflow" bottles and Avent bottles. I bought a pack of soothie bottles myself. So, why did I take them off my registry? Because I found out that by the end of this year, Babies R Us and Toys R Us will not sell a bottle that contains BPA. So do I buy bottles I know the store I bought them from is throwing them away? Do I use bottles for my babies that I know the store I got them from doesn't even want them in the store? I tried to read about it and ended up getting upset. Bottles labeled with a 7 at the bottom have the most leakage of chemicals in them. The soothie bottles I bought? All labeled with a 7. I'm breastfeeding but I'm also pumping and bottle feeding. I gave this decision to my dh. He can read and tell me whats best.

Vaccinations are needed. They are important. They will get them but what if? What if the information is correct? What if I do something and my babies get autism? Rediculous is what my head is saying. I had them all...but I got them at different stages of life. Now they do them all at once. I think with this issue, I will be reading about each vaccination and going through them one at a time and staggering them. Of course, I will go over this with a dr.

The bumper and the sleep postioner. I love the bumper. I want to use the postioner. I registered for two. Do I leave it in though? Should I use it? I can't decide. Best bet is I see what kind of sleeping babies I have. Are they like me and roll everywhere or are they like their father and still when they sleep. We'll see.

I feel like I needed to talk this out with myself to clear my head of all this. I need to think clear and levelheaded and not with fear.

It's almost time...

It's almost time for me to leave work and go on maternity. I don't think I will be returning to work and my wish is to stay home and raise my babies. This sounds great to me but as the date nears, I am getting panicky. I've finished all my work. My lesson plans are done until August 22nd and other than a few items to prepare, I'm done. I met someone that might be covering my room. Not replacing me (my assistant will replace me) but she replaces her and I don't like her. She's loud and annoying. Granted I don't have to work with her but I don't want the kids to have to be with her. It's not really anything I should worry about since I'm quitting but I do.

Also, I think I'm having feelings of uselessness. "What am I going to do before babies and after I stop working?" The obvious answer is get ready for babies. For some reason my head isn't wrapping around that. For the last 7 years I've woken up before 7, got ready and went to work. Worked a 9-10 hour day and came home. My life has revolved around my job for 7 years and now it's going away and I think I'll continue to feel this way until I go into labor and have my babies.

However, I am growing increasingly uncomfortable. My feet hurt and my back aches. I'm not as flexible. Tying shoes has become something I can't do anymore unless I sit on the floor and pull the foot to me but then I can't get up from the floor. I wake up when I roll over and that's a job in itself. I have 10 days left of work and my body is telling me that it's too much.

But in baby news, at my last appointment heartbeats were great and I'm measuring 34/35 weeks (i'm 27 weeks lol) so they are growing and so am I.

Less than 100 days....

In less than 100 days I'll be a mommy to what I can will be cutest babies in the world. Next thursday I will enter the third and final trimester and my new OB said that's the hardest, so I'm ready. He also said my last day of work will probably be May 2nd but I don't see him again until May 7th, so I'm not sure if I will finish and work until the 9th or if the 6th will be my last day. I had what I think were contractions yesterday. They didn't last long but were really uncomfortable. It was about 1 an hour and I had 3 (that I know of). It just felt like I couldn't take a breath to safe my life and everything felt so tight. It was so uncomfortable but they are both moving this morning and I feel fine so I'm not worried. I figured it was just braxton hicks. It's going to be a long day today. My friends mother is having surgery to repair one of her augmentated breast (she is recovering from her second round of breast cancer) and my friend didn't have anyone to take her to school. Her husband was going to bring him really early to school but found out he had to be at work at 5 am so he couldn't do it. I said "Bring him to my house and I'll take him to school". She said 6am was too early for me to be up but I assured her I would be up and since he's one of the kids in my class, I'm going that way. I thought for sure I'd but up and I was but I didn't fall asleep last night until way after midnight and had to pee every 20 minutes so now I'm soooo tired. Good news is..he happily entertained watching tv and eating his bagel :). And I feel like I need a few more hours of sleep. The babies are moving so much more now. I find myself laying down at night just enjoying the feeling of them. Sometimes it feels like they are fighting lol. It's great. If you're reading, I hope you enjoyed my very early morning of ramblings. Enjoy your day :).

New Doctor~~

I love my new dr!!! He has a lot of personality and smiles a lot. Something my old doc never did. He seems to really like what he does and answers all questions, even dumb ones :). He said we would wait until the babies are ready or showed signs that they needed to be delivered, not force them out like my ob planned to. The top picture is the girls, yes I said GIRLS, they were confirmed today, heads together and they are both head down. It is a very cute picture. The second one is baby A sucking her thumb. I love it!! Both babies are doing great and Baby A weight 1 pound 13 ounces and Baby B weight 1 pound 10 ounces.

25 weeks!!

I have finished 25 weeks of my pregnancy and feel that I'm nearing the last leg of this journey. Today I took out their coming home outfits, cut the tags off (of course saved them for their baby books) and layed them in the crib along with socks and mittens to match. I need to get them hats because it will be July and I read that babies need to wear hats. Maybe we'll use them, maybe we won't but I layed them out and I can't wait until my babies are in them. Yesterday, I was folding the blankets and burping clothes and pictured myself holding my babies in these blankets and may of believed for a second that this is actually going to happen. I am actually going to get to be a mommy. It only lasted for a second and it was gone again. Infertility takes a lot away from you. Makes you suffer and when you think it's over, it isn't. I'm prepared for them but fear getting my hopes up. In a few weeks I will wash all of their stuff and get the bags ready. Each step is one step closer to what I've waited for for 4 years!

My Bad two days...

I'm 24 weeks and 4 days and up until yesterday, I've never bothered my OB for anything. Not that she ever seemed interested in solving my problems or answering my questions but everything was going great, so I never pushed it. Yesterday I woke up feeling sick. My back was hurting a lot and I felt so much pressure in my lower areas. It was scary so I called my OB and she called me back, sounding half asleep I might add, and told me to stay home and stay in bed. Nothing else. A few hours later, her nurse, Erin, called me to ask how I was. I told her I was still the same and she said okay and hung up. I waited a few more hours and called the OB back wondering what I should do about feeling this way. Her advice was go to MFM sooner than my next week appointment. So I made an appointment at MFM for this morning at 830. When I got to the appointment, they did the FFN test to make sure I wasn't going into preterm labor, that was negitive. They checked my cervix, it was long and closed and they checked to make sure I wasn't having contractions, I'm not. Then they sent me on my way. I called the dr and said that everything seemed to be fine but she wasn't in to make the decision of me going back to work and I asked why she wasn't seeing me to find out what happened yesterday. I was still crampy and wanted to know why. I felt like I had a bladder infection or something. So after asking and asking, they finally gave my appointment to come in. Here is how that appointment went.

I walk in at 315 pm (330 appt) and Erin says "come on back". I open the door and walk in. She shows me where the bathroom is. I know the routine, I do it every three weeks. She tells me to do a sterile collection, so I do. There is no pen in the bathroom to write my name so I carry the card and cup out to find a pen. I take it to the nurses' station and tell the nurse (well call Nurse B for short) that I couldn't find a pen and could I borrow hers. She doesn't even look at me and says "Don't worry about it, I don't need it" picks up her chart says "okay" and walks away. This is the part of the appointment where you sit in the green room or you get put into a room. Not knowing which to do, I waited, thinking Nurse B would come back in and tell me where to go. She didn't. I slowly walked back up to the front desk and waited. I saw Nurse B lean over to Erin and whisper. I heard my name, some more whispering and then the words "Just let her stand there". Erin then looked at me and told me to wait there for the dr. When the dr came in Nurse B walked over to her and said "Tina is...." she lowered her voice so I couldn't hear. The dr came out of her office with my chart and walked my into her office. She didn't look at me or ask me how I was feeling, just started writing. Her first words were "You can go to work now". I was dumbfounded. I said "My shift ends in an hour". She says "I don't know what you want to me to do. Do you want to go to work or not?" I said I did but it's to late for today and that I'll go tomorrow but that I wanted to know what the cramping was and if I should be worried about it or was it normal. She said "You're getting big." Then she stood up and without saying anything, left her office. I was crying by the time I got to the elevator. It was horrible. On the way home, I called my insurance and asked if a change of OB at 6 months was doable and she said yes, so I found an OB and called them. They said they'd have to review my charts but being that I've had an uncomplicated pregnancy it shouldn't be a problem. I made an appointment for Wednesday and hung up. I called my former OB office to ask them to send my records to this new place and here is how that went. "Dr.'s Office" "Hi, I'd like to have my records faxed to another clinic, how would I go about doing that" Nurse B "Hold on a minute". Billing lady "HI Tina" What!!! I never said it was Tina.. "Tina, listen, I don't know what happened here today but you are obviously upset. If you want your records faxed over, fax me the info and I will do it" Me "Okay, thanks". Half an hour later, its my OB. "Tina, I don't know what you're upset over" "Your nurse is mean and blah blah" Dr "I know, I'm firing her." What?? "I just felt today that I didn't get the best care that I except and that doesn't work for me" Dr. "I'll call you later" at the end of the day she called and apologized. She apologized for being distracted and for her nurse bitch. She said friday is her last day. She hopes I will come in on Wednesday for my appointment.

So I was thinking "She apologized right?" "I don't have to switch, right?" but then tonight it hit me. What happens the next time I feel something is wrong? Will I be ignored the same way? Not for nothing but the nurse was a bitch but the dr wasn't much better. I think I've made up my mind. I think I'll be switching. I need to do what's best for us and although I know she wouldn't compromise my babies, my being stressed and upset isn't healthy and I shouldn't dread going to my OB. So getting this off my chest, I think I should be able to continue with my night sleeping :). Am I making the right choice? Who knows...

6 months and a new crib!!

We have finally bought, assembled and decorated our new crib!!! We could not be happier with it. I'm in love and can't wait until my little loves are in it.

The Labor and Delivery Tour...

It went really well. First, she explained the lullaby that played throughout the hospital as we were getting on the elevator meant that a baby had just been born. She brought us to the waiting room and talked a little bit about deliveries and such. Then we went to the labor and delivery room and I asked about a twin c-section and she basically explained that I would not be put into a cute little room like the one we were standing in but that I'd go to the OR. Cool. Then after the c-section and a 2 hour recovery, I would get to go to the Mother/baby room and there I would meet my babies. I was a little upset to know that I wouldn't be holding them, bonding with them until they were several hours old but it is what it is. Good news is my husband will be with them the whole time, either in the nursery or the NICU. Once I'm moved to my room, if babies are in good health, they'll be in the room with me. I love that. All we have left to do is register and then wait.

100th Post!

So as I was beginning to start this post, I noticed this is my 100th post. Today we had a follow up with MFM (maternal fetal medicine) and they tried to get the last of the anatomical measurements and at last try to get a 100% gender for baby A.

• Baby A weighs 1 pound 1 ounce, heartreat is 160 bpm and is in the 50 percentile and still has not opened her little legs so we can get a definate that she's a she and not a he. We were able to complete almost all of her measurements except her heart. It appears to be beating normally and is growing correctly but they won't give me the clear until they get the best possible look at it so they gave me 2 choices: Wait until my next appointment in 3 weeks to retry or I can go see a fetal cardiologist. The thought basically scares me and if there are no concerns, I'll wait the 3 weeks. If in 3 weeks we still don't know, I'll see the specialist. Oh and Baby A yawned..it was sooo cute :)

• Baby B weighs 1 pound even, heartrate is 145 bpm and is in the 48th percentile (because she is only 1 pound). We were able to see the three lines that make a little girl, so we know she's a she. We completed all of her measurements and she is growing right on target. She was actually a bit more quiet than usual but I had a lot of carbs for lunch and that might of made her sleepy..I know it did me.

• I've gained 2 pounds in the last 3 weeks...Rock On!!! Total gain so far is 11 pounds/ 22 weeks. My blood pressure is 106/64 and urine and blood are good. My C-Section has been scheduled for July 9th!!! 7AM.

Last, I'd like to say my heart is breaking for Schmoodle. I read her blogs and she is always giving me advice and answering my concerns. She is in my prayers. No one should have to go through what she has just gone through.

Happy Easter!!

Just a post to wish everyone a Blessed Easter! Today we are going to church, going to breakfast and coming home to relax before dinner and then going to a confimation celebration. Happy Easter!

Back from Babymoon!

What it looked like the day we got there....
What it looked like when we left...

The clothing we bought...

We had a great time! We arrived on Sunday and checked into our hotel. It was a very nice room. We layed around the room until 5 and then went out to dinner, came back to the room, napped and went out after 10 to play. We stayed out late and slept in late.

Monday was an exciting and funny day for us...I woke on Monday to take a bath in the massive tub they had going on in our bathroom. It was soooo relaxing. I slowly got dressed and we went to lunch and went to the pier mall. There we found a Janie and Jack and bought the girls two cute shirts (not pictured). While in the store, there was a light/water/music show starting to take place. I've seen it before, so I stayed in the store. I, however, was not pregnant the last time I saw it so I wasn't really expecting what happend. The water and lights start first, then BOOM! the music. It's a Pier Mall, so the floor started vibrated and both babies went crazy. It was like they were having seisures. It actually made me a little ill from the constant shuddering/vibrating in my stomach. We left the store and headed as far away from the commotion as possible. I went into the bathroom and sat down, trying to calm the wee ones in my belly. After a few moments they calmed down. It was amazing (despite the scary/sick feeling that came). This then, this feeling is the norm. They do this a lot now. I like it. My hubby can feel them move on the outside as well. Exciting!

On Tuesday, we woke up really late (because we were at the casino til almost 3 i believe). Again, I spoiled myself by taking another bath and getting ready as slow as possible (we had food in the room). We decided to walk around and visit the outlet stores. There we found a Carters with 40-70% off everything! Thus the photo ;). Bambi and Thumper were found at the Disney store. Our babies are going to be well dressed.

On Wednesday, today, we went to lunch, gambled a bit and came home. I work tomorrow but am off the rest of the week. It was a nice and relaxing couple of days and I'm glad we got to go.

As far as winning, Tuesday night, I had one 20 left (think I lost about 80) I put it into a Monopoly slot machine and won 100.05!!! We used that cash the rest of the trip lol...

An awwww moment today...

This little boy is the one I will be talking about. I had him in my class last year and he is a very sweet boy. He is no longer 2, actually turning 4 this May. Today I ran into his mom when she was picking him up and she said "did you know Ms. Tina has 2 babies in her tummy?" He smiled and said "yes' He then looked at me and said, "Ms. Tina, are you going to be their mommy?" My heart melted. I love this kid!

20 Weeks down..17 to go!

20 weeks!

There is not much to update but I always update on Sundays :)..

We talked to the dr on Monday and she was saying that with twins, she does the c-section at 37 weeks but most of the time, they don't make it that far. I want to be one that does. I want them both to come home with me and for that I need full term big babies :).

Work is going okay. I'm a little annoyed though, because on Friday, I wasn't feeling to well and by 4 I was having body aches, chills, cramping and my back hurt. Not to mention I was getting a headache. I felt crappy all over and I wanted to fall asleep. Children counts were low, so I went into the office to ask if it was okay to call it quits for the day and the only person still working in admin was the nurse. She told me to go home if I wasn't feeling well, so after checking with the other teachers, making sure they were covered, I left. I left 45 minutes early. Well apparently the nurse told my boss that the reason she couldn't answer the phone was because I took it upon myself to walk out early...argh. I'm not worried about this. By boss can't stand the nurse anyway but just that she said that. Like I would just walk out. So Monday, I'm wondering what to say to the nurse. Stupid lying B*tch comes to mind but I have much more class than that :)

I thought I'd be able to work longer than May 2nd, but I'm not sure now. I'm so freaking tired of that crap, I'd rather just stay home and grow babies.

Another Belly Pic...

Here's my 20 week belly shot. It's a few days early but oh well :). My next appointment isn't for another two weeks so I have no updates and I'm excited about going away in a week. Dh and I decided to go to Atlantic City and stay at the Showboat, which is right on the beach. We are staying Sunday -Wednesday. It will be so nice to relax and do nothing. Baby B was kicking my belly button last night. It was a wierd feeling. Liked it though :).

A nice day...

Our babies are growing. They weigh 10 ounces each. Their brains, hearts, kidneys, stomachs..etc all measure great. Baby A is breach and Baby B is reclined across my stomach. Baby A is relaxing and not much of mover and a shaker and Baby B couldn't sit still. One of the placentas is really low so if it doesn't move I won't have a choice but to have a c-section. I have gained 4 pounds, totaling 9 pounds in 20 weeks.

Okay, so the news you've been waiting for. Baby A was sitting down, feet down and refused to open us so we could take a peak but after some struggling and 3 different types of ultrasounds, the tech settled on "It's a Girl". Baby B was bouncing, dancing, open to the world. The tech announced "It's a Girl". Two Girls for us. I am so happy to be having girls. I think it would be a lot of fun. One thing I have trouble thinking about is, I always thought I'd have a boy. I want both of my girls, but I always thought I'd have a boy.

I'm soo happy today. It was great day.

Tomorrow is the big day!!

Tomorrow is what they call the "Big Ultrasound". Finally. They measure the brain, the heart and the other organs. They also check genders. They measure the baby. I'm so excited about tomorrow. I want to see my babies again. The office told me to expect at least 1.5 hours maybe more for this u/s, so it will be a long day. We also have an OB appointment in the morning. That one is to way me, check my blood pressure..urine, etc.

Today was so beautiful, we went out. We went to a babies r us and when we walked in, we were amazed. It was so huge. Bigger than the ones we had previously gone too. We decided to tomorrow, we were going there to continue our registry because everything we wanted was there. Everything and more.

I guess that's it until tomorrow.

We bought bedding!

Here is the bedding I finally bought! I love it. We got a great deal on it too. It was originally priced for 129$, which is a great price in itself but we wanted to save as much as we could and it was on sale! We were able to get it for 79.99 after the sale discount and the coupon we had! Because we only spent 80, we decided to get the mobile that matched it and that was 35 originally but we got it for a little over 20! So we got both pieces for less than 100. I am so happy we went today. Also today, I finally registered. We went to babies r us and spent a little over an hour adding things to the registry. It feels great to finally be doing baby stuff.

Forgot something...

Here is my baby A. We don't know the gender of this baby. I will continue to think of this baby as my boy until told otherwise :)

This is Baby B (the Peri guessed 75% chance) our girl.

No matter the genders, we aren't really caring one way or the other, we are extremely happy and consider ourselves very blessed to have these two beautiful babies. I can't wait to meet them.

Lets talk maternity pants...

They are so unbelieveably comfortable. I don't think I'll ever go back to regular pants :). They actually feel like sweatpants but they're not!

Okay so tomorrow I'll complete 18 weeks. I'll be starting my 19th week on Monday. I can't believe that as of tomorrow I'll be 4.5 months. Time flies. I have 10 weeks left of work. My next appointment is 3/3 and hopefully they'll tell me for sure what my babies are. I really want to know.

I felt them move again this morning. I haven't felt them move in awhile. I get nervous but then I try to remember that they are small. About the size of sweet potatoes according to the baby books. So I have two sweet potatoes in my belly :). Morning sickness is still going on. It comes and goes, no where near as bad as it was but it's still there.

Today we are going to buy our crib set. I haven't been able to settle on one duck/frog theme so we'll see which one we actually buy. We will be buying the crib at the end of march or beginning of April. I want to set it up when we buy it, so we have to wait until we are ready to do that. We need to more our room around to set up a crib (2 in a few months) and a rocker. I've decided I want the rocker by the window so we can look out while we rock :). That is one moment I look foward to the most. Sitting and rocking my babies.

Ducks and Frogs

We have been talking about doing ducks and frogs for our "girls" (still unsure about genders) but I think it's cute. Yellow and green are very adorable colors.

Lets talk Round Ligament Pain. There should be a form that everyone gets at the beginning that says something along the lines of "During the first part of the second trimester, you will experience some painful attacks on the right side of you lower abdomen/pelvic area. It will actually feel like you've torn your tummy muscle and your insides will be falling out at anytime." Now. Only the first attack was that bad. The rest have been kind of really really uncomfortable but I wasn't informed that this would be happening and actually thought that I had torn something. I moved the wrong way yesterday and since then, I've been sore. It's a stabbing pain that feels like electricity shooting around my lower abs. Not that I have abs. It's pretty much a rounded pouch. That's my complaint for now...

We bought bottles. We bought some soothie bottles. They had this cute gift set. It was winnie the pooh and they had their own little drying rack that held nipples, lids and bottles and had a cover when they were dry. They are stage two but soooo cute. Couldn't pass it up.

Today we did more "shopping". Picked out some things and filed them in our heads until we know what these precious babies are! It's actually driving me nuts not being able to buy anything. We have a little over 4 months left and I still haven't bought anything! Except for the dr suess onsies and bottles.

Next month we will be going to get our crib. I hope to get that put together and all nice before too long. I can't wait to see it all put together.

Well because we spent the entire day out and about...almost 9 hours..i'm exhausted and am calling it a night. I soooo do not want to work tomorrow. I should have 11 kids, lets hope I have a few less. And I will be working 9 hours unless I can sneak out early. I really need a new dr's note. I'm gettin gone in two weeks.

Take care and goodnight.

17 weeks almost complete!

I got to experience the greatest feeling last night. I went to bed around 8:30 pm and as I was drifting off, I felt it! It was a kick! At first I thought it might be gas but after a few more times I called my dh in hoping he'd feel it too. When he got there, they were done but it was amazing.

I haven't been sleeping all that well. I used to sleep on my stomach but lately that hurts..yes I know.. so I've been sleeping on my sides. The problem with sleeping on my side is that my arms and hands go numb. I have something called a "shoulder impengement" It means that the shoulder blade is set in the wrong spot so when I move my arms the wrong way, it pinches the nerves under my collar bone, thus arms and hands fall asleep. It hasn't bothered me in a long time. I wen to PT when I was a teen but now It seems to be back. Even typing my left hand is falling asleep. So sleeping has become a distaster.

They babies, as I mentioned in a previous post, are doing remarkable. I am hoping it last til our c section date. Holy cow! That is in 20 weeks!! I just realized that. We have chosen our beautiful names and we aren't telling anyone but I can tell you, the are very wonderful to us.

Work is becoming a problem. At my last OB appointment, we discussed my work schedule and she said it was to much. I was supposed to cut down to 40/week but no more than 8/day and that 8 must include time to sit and relax or several breaks. I have the kids laying down from 12-230 so that's my downtime. Well, silly me, when I go out to the nurses station to pick up the note, she asked "How many hours?" I answer stupidly "40" so the nurse writes down 40/week, no more until further notice. When I had the papar to my boss, she looks at it and I say "The dr said no more the 8 hours including breaks" she says ok then tells me since I can in late today and will come in late tomorrow (mon and tues) that I can continue working my 9-10 hour days because it won't be over 40!!! Can you believe that?? So now I have to get a revised copy of the note.

I also told her my last day would be May 2nd, if everything went okay. If not, I'd be out sooner. At least she has her day, 2.5 months ahead. My responsiblity to my class has been fullfilled. It's up to her to find my replacement. I can't feel my left hand anymore so I'm going to end this here.

The Fifth Month..

So, I'm now 5 days into the 5th month. Here's what I know. I do not have gestational diabetes. I am immune to the 5th disease. I will have my cervix checked every 3 weeks. My babies are 5 oz each and are about 5 inches long. Their heads, stomachs, bladders and legs are the perfect size and I've gained 5 pounds. Their hearts are beating at 147 and 157 bpm. We are only 75% sure that one baby is a girl and we have no clue as to the sex of the other one. Also, that I am in love with my babies. Oh...and tonight I'm having White Castle for dinner :).

Oh here's a belly shot...

I hope everyone is well. Have a great weekend!

A great update!

Today we went to the OB. We looked at our beautiful babies on the monitor, she weighed me, took my blood and blood pressure and we talked about work. We also talked genders. Here are the results:

• I'm 16 weeks, 1 day pregnant.
• Total weight gain: 5 pounds (17 weeks with twins! wow!)
• Blood was to check for a immunity to a certain disease and to check for diabetes
• Blood Pressure: 110/64
• Genders: A: Girl (probably) B: Maybe Girl (not cooperative)

So there ya go.

I have another appointment tomorrow with the specialist. She will measure the babies, check them and let us know how they are growing. We will be asking her to double check genders and make sure OB is correct before we start telling people. 2 Girls...wow!

They are Kicking!!

I felt my babies moving and at one point one of them kicked me! It was beautiful. I was stretched out on the sofa on Tuesday night watching american idol and BAM! Loved it!

I finally bought maternity clothing!! I spent 130 dollars on pants. I can't believe I finally bought them. I am sooo excited to get them. I grew out of my pants 8 weeks ago and have been 'rubberbanding' them together.

Monday I am going for my Gestational Diabetes test and keep your fingers crossed that I pass. I keep having boughts of low blood sugar so, we'll see.

Tuesday I have another appointment but it's with the specialist. They better tell me what I'm having or they will have a very cranky pregnant woman to deal with. I'm not sure what they are doing but it has something to do with measuring their growth. I hope everything is going good with them.

Tomorrow starts week 16!!

I can't believe I'm done with 15 weeks of my pregnancy. I am almost half done! I will have an u/s next monday (not tomorrow) and am very excited and am hoping to find out the genders of my babies. I want to register but I want to give the drs one more try to see their parts :). I've been feeling okay. I've been having leg cramps. The tiredness stays at bay til about 430 or unless I've been doing a lot of running around, like today.

We found the cutest stroller today. It's a bit bulky and I'm not sure how small it folds down. We aren't looking for a different stroller until they grow out of the snap and go we are getting. We have decided to buy the crib in about 5 weeks. Well buy one crib. The other crib will have to wait for awhile..until we need it...

I bought the dr suess onsies and they are adorable!

14 Weeks complete!

NT SCAN/QUAD RESULTS:

On January 12th, we went in for an Ultrasound called a nuchal translucency.

This is a collection of fluid under the skin at the back of a baby's neck at 10-14 weeks that can be measured using ultrasound. All babies have some fluid, but in many babies with Down's syndrome, the nuchal translucency (NT) is increased. An NT scan is a method of assessing whether your baby is likely to have Down's syndrome. It's a screening test. A screening test can only estimate the risk of your baby having Down's, as opposed to a diagnostic test, such as CVS or amniocentesis, which will give you a definite diagnosis (but also carries a small risk of miscarriage). The NT scan can't tell for certain whether your baby is affected. However, it can help you decide whether or not to have a diagnostic test.

They also did bloodwork. We haven't seen the OB yet, but the Maternal Fetal Medicine dr called to let me know: "You are at the lowest possible risk for a child with Downs" there were a few others but I'm not exactly sure what they were. We are sooo happy. We will not be doing the CVS or the Amnio because the risk isnt' worth it. Okay that's the latest bit of news for ya!

We've made it to 14 weeks and all is good. Still have a bit of morning sickness but that's okay. Tomorrow I start week 15. Wow! We are still window shopping at all the baby stores. Trying to find that perfect price for perfect stuff. We can't wait to shop!!!! Here are some cute items I will be buying soon.

It says Thing 1 It says Thing 2

I love these onsies lol. They were at buy buy baby and are 12 dollars each. I will get them :). My next two appointments are back to back this time. One is at 16w1d and the other 16w2d. One is to check my NT Scan and Quad bloodwork, the other is an hour long scan called a "cervical scan" I'm not sure what it is but they measure the baby and a few other things. So I leave you with this bit of really good news. Enjoy your day!

13 Weeks!!!

We found a crib!!! Today we went to Baby Depot and were looking at baby stuff...obviously..so anyway, we spot this crib. I think it's fabulous because of the storage underneath AND the changing table/drawers and shelves on the side. It is a cute shape and the color is okay but it doesn't matter if my hubby doesn't like the price. Guess What?! It is only $299.00!! Praise the Lord of outlet stores! Since we will be needing two, it makes sense to buy cheaper cribs, but to find the one I love and can afford to pay for, is just a blessing. We didn't purchase it yet..still too early, but it is always in stock ( as told to us by sales rep) so we are in good shape. We spent a great deal of time looking for baby stuff and can't wait to shop. How Exciting!

13 weeks...It feels like it's flying but at the same time it is still going slow. We have another appointment tomorrow, this time with the OB then our next will be on the 12th of Feb. We are still hoping to find out gender but we'll have to wait to see if dr/babies will cooperate.

On the subject of gender..I have always thought I'd want a boy/girl. Today I just realized that I'm excited to be having whatever (I still can't wait to find out what they are) but I am looking foward to whatever we have. I would love to have boy/boy or girl/girl because they could have a matching room and grow up together, they could share clothes (we'd only buy one of everything!) and such. BUT boy/girl would be fantastic because I would have the experience of raising both. It would mean buying double the clothing but it would be great! So! It's been a great 13 weeks!

(Morning sickness is starting to subside, still feeling tired but I'm still working 9-10 hour days, but I've been having headaches-4 out of 7 days so far, but we are doing good. Can't wait to see them tomorrow..or at least hear their heartbeats!)

NT Scan..

I had my NT scan yesterday and thought I'd write a blog about how it went. First, I filled out all of the paper work. We waited for about 20 minutes, and then went in. I undressed from the waist down and laid on the table. We did an external u/s first.

This is baby A. Baby A was playing, kicking and waving. A was also swimming and moving around having a good time. A kept looking at us and wouldn't turn so we could get a profile. It was so cute watching A play. We watched for about 1/2 an hour. In the end, A measured Okay. They measured spinal fluid and nasal cavity.

This is Baby B. B was not quite so happy to be filmed. B wouldn't move much for the u/s lady. We did get B to move an arm and she got a great shot of the baby waving 'HI'. She said that he was quieter and was probably because: a) I hadn't eaten yet or b) because it was early in the morning. B's measurments were also right on target.

Both hearts were beating and although we are not out of the woods with the genetic disorder testing, we are pretty sure they are both going to be okay. Blood results come next week and then we can breathe easy. It was a great day.

I offically told everyone that knows me. Everyone was really happy for me. It really was a great day.

12 Weeks!!!

I have finally reached 12 weeks, well in a few hours I will be. My NT scan is Tuesday and when that is over, I will tell the world. I'm so excited. I can't wait to see my babies again. I'll be updating more on Tuesday.

11 Weeks today!

Today marks my 11 week. I'm finally going to start my 12th week. I'm also excited that in 9 days, I'll be seeing my babies at the NT scan. Some say it was really neat and you got to see the babies, some say it's just an ultrasound. I've chosen Valley as my hospital and they seem to do things to the best of their ability, so I'm going to chose to think it will be a great day. They did, afterall, make my wish come true, x2.

Morning sickness, or all day sickness in this case, comes and goes still but I think it is letting up. It's not as horrible as it used to be. The crampy is usually gone too. It only seems to come back after I worked for a few hours.

I've been thinking that maternity may come in early April. I'll be 24 weeks on April 6th, so I may go out then. She said she doesn't want me working to long because of what I do, but we'll see. I want to do what's best for them. I was reading in my new book, "When you are expecting twins, triplets or quads" and it said that in 24 weeks, my uterus will be the size of one baby at 32 weeks...yikes!

Well, I hope my readers are doing fantastic and Happy New Year!

Oh I've had 3 dreams now that I'm having a boy/girl. Could it be? (but I still call them boys, how funny if their both girls!)

Got to see my babies today...

This morning, I did not want to go to work and I probably shouldn't of even tried. I left late (allowing myself 12 minutes to get to work) to start off with. While waiting at a red light, someone rear-ended me. It made me jerk, hard. I jumped out of my car to see no damage, which shocked me because of the force. Seeing no damage, the guy apologized and asked me if I was okay, I told him yes, no harm and went on my way. Once I got to work, though, I started having pains in my left side. I started to worry because Baby B is on my left side. I started to become anxious and I talked to the nurse who said everything was fine, I just needed to relax. I couldn't relax. It took me almost 4 years to get to this point and I wasn't taking any chances. I called my OB expecting to hear, you're okay I'll see you at your appointment Jan 21st but instead I got a "You need to come here this morning". I left work and drove 45 minutes to my OB and she did an u/s to look at them. They are perfect still and no problems. Now I'm just really really sore. My back is hurting and my neck is a bit stiff and I still have slight cramps but my babies are FINE!!! That is all that matters to me.

I called my grandma today and I talked to her about Billy for awhile. It was hard listening to my grandma cry. She must be hurting so much. I just wanted to hug her. Life can be so hard...

I'm happy and I'm heartbroken..

Today I'm 10 weeks. I will be celebrating the new year 10weeks and 1 day pregnant. Wow. I finally went to a baby store last night and I found all kinds of exciting things. Cribs, bassinets, high chairs, swings lots of stuff. The cutest little outfits and my hubby and I decided that is going to be our weakness. We have been avoiding all stuff "baby" and we are still afraid of jinxing ourselves but we didn't buy anything. There is no harm in looking. In 2 weeks and 2 days, I'll have my NT scan and if all is as it should, we will be telling the world. I can't wait!!!

On a sadder note, my cousin Billy died last night. My mom called when we were out to dinner and told me. It was sad, but it made me numb. I didn't know how to react. At first, I don't think I believed it. But as the night progressed, it became very clear that we lost one of our cousins.

I was the first grandchild born to Clyde and Mary. Then came Luke, Marlin, Timothy, Eric, Samuel, Billy, John, Robert, Kayla, Nicky, Christian, Hannah and Joshua.

We grew up together. Spent every Christmas together. Stayed for days wearing my Grandparents out. We all lived not a mile from each other. Now one of us is gone. How do you wrap yourself around that? As these thoughts churned in my head, my tears started. All I could think was "His poor mother. What she must be going through." All parents love their children but she really loved Billy. Not in a wierd way, just as a "he's my life". Both of her children are.

I used to babysit Billy and last night all I could hear him say was "Tina, don't you think the Dodge Ram is the best truck. It is right? When I get bigger I'm going to get one of them" He did. I'm not sure if he ever bought his Dodge Ram before his love of motorcycles came into the picture. He died in a motorcycle crash.....

George William "Billy" Cowen, 22 years old, you will be missed.

Nothing to update...

I'm 9 weeks 3 days. I feel tired but pretty good. Still cramping, so I'll take that as a sign I'm still growing. Yesterday was christmas and I told everyone. Only three more weeks before I tell everyone.
My next appointment is on Jan 15th. I will be doing the NT scan. They'll be checking everything, making sure the babies are growing the right way. I'm somewhat nervous but I have the Lord on my side and I know he's taking care of my babies. They are a gift from him, afterall.
Took my first bath since I've gotten pregnant and it was wonderful! Just had to add that.
Hmmmmmmmmm, I always have stuff I want to talk about but when I get signed on, it disappears. OH I remember.
Told my family on Christmas that I was expecting two babies in the summer. My mom, sisters and brother was happy for me. My dad said he was happy if I was happy but had lots of reasons why I shouldn't be. I'm still over the moon in love with my babies and I'm sure he will be soon, as once as he meets them.
My sister got engaged this weekend. I'm not usually selfish but I wanted my news to be the only news shared at the time. I wanted it to be talked about and thought about alone. I know how it sounds but it took me almost 4 years to get pregnant and I've dreamed about this moment forever. I got my moment and it was great!

Only 3 more weeks!!

Only three weeks until I can tell the world! I'll be 9 weeks tomorrow and I'm telling my family on Christmas day!! Time seems to be standing still but flying at the same time. I want everyone to know of my good fortune but I'm afraid to let it go. hmmm confusing?

My intuition says i'm having two boys but I had a dream it was one of each. I'm not sure which one is right.

I've gained 3 pounds in 2 days. I guess I held it off as long as I could. OH well...grow babies grow!

Saw my babies again!

Today was my first OB appointment. It was amazing. We talked about how much weight I should gain, she said if I wanted to continue dieting I could as long as it was enough for the babies and we saw them. Baby A (the baby is the square) is measuring 8w3d. Just perfect. With a heartbeat of 166 bpm. Baby A is laying across my uterus enjoying the time. Baby B (that little barely white dot) is hanging out in my left side and you are looking at his hiney. Baby B is either uncooperative or really shy :). Baby B was measuring 8w2d and had a heartbeat of 167 bpm. I love them soo much. I got to see their little hearts a beating away and it was so beautiful. She told me that I will have a lot of ultrasounds and asked me how July 4th sounded to have them. Maybe July 5th, I'd prefer. If it was one, I'd be due the 27th of July. I am still in awe and can't believe I have been blessed with two miracles!

Well...

Tomorrow I will be 8 weeks. I've finished two months. I'm two months pregnant. Wow. I am so ever greatful for those 2 months. I loved the last two months. Full of wonderful things. Finally making it to ER, having two blast (well one and almost one) at ET, getting a postive pregnancy test at home and having it confirmed by the dr. Telling my husband. Telling my mom. Seeing two sacs. Hearing two heartbeats. Seeing tears in my husbands eyes after watching the hearts beat. Him telling me that, although he's scared, it's going to be okay. Listening to my mom cry when I tell her it's twins. And finally finishing week 8.

I can't wait to share with the world. Last night at the work party, I wanted to take the mic and yell "I'm having twins". Instead I absent mindedly mentioned it to someone I never talk to and not sure I can trust. When she asked when I had given birth, I dumbly responded I hadn't yet. She started saying congrats and I told her to shhhh. She's a baby so hopefully she'll understand and mums the word.

Life.

I know I'm only 7 weeks (tomorrow) but I love being pregnant. I mean there is the morning sickness, the moodiness, the exhaustion, the urge to eat everything in sight one second and everything make you want to vomit the next, but I love it! I feel changes that I can't explain, see things changing and it's exciting. It's amazing what your body is capable of doing by itself.

I graduated from my RE on thursday. I was kind of upset about it because I thought I had more time there. Graduating is an excellent thing, don't get me wrong, but it was still sad. I've been there for two years and it's finally paid off but I said my goodbyes and left. My RE said he would check up on me to see how I was doing during my pregnancy so that was nice.

I made my first appointment with an OB. I found one named Dr. Lin Vikner. I didn't know if this person was male or female but SHE fits the hospital affiliations I have narrowed it down too. I want either Hackensack or Valley. I'm leaning more on The Valley Hospital because they just seem so wonderful and my RE is with them so that makes me more comfortable. I hope she does another u/s and realizes what a pain in the ass patient I am going to be. These are my babies and I want to make sure everything is okay all the time.

I'm also hoping to be out of work by May. My job is stressful and physically demanding and exhausting. I'm not sure how I'll do it pregnant with twins. I see women pregnant with a singleton and the struggle to make it til the month before and just last week one of the girls' water broke in the bathroom and shes was a month early. Her baby is doing great though.

Seems I've been having nightmares lately. I know dreams change when you get pregnant. They become more vivid, a little scary but these are awful.

The most amazing things EVER!

I heard the most beautiful sound today. My babies hearts were beating in sync and it was amazing. I saw the fluttering and I cried. Both were beating. Both are growing. I am right on target. These are my babies. I love them like crazy.

Second U/S tomorrow...

We, of course, are hoping to see two heartbeats tomorrow. I'm more on the positive side and thinking that we will see our baby's heartbeats tomorrow. I am prepared to ask more questions like, How far along are the measuring? How big are they? and When are they due? lol I think I know that one but I'm not sure when they tell you.

I'm feeling pregnant. I have started the lovely morning sickness. I wake up with my stomach turning, it stops around noon and starts again in the evening. I force myself to eat and try to not think about what I'm eating because if I do, I won't eat it. I've lost 2 pounds already but I gained 5 doing IVF so that's ok. It's just water. I'm 6w3d today, at least by my calculations. The dr's will tell me tomorrow what I really am. I think my boobs have definately increased in size. Being a D already, I'm a little nervous about getting bigger. Veins are starting to show and they are sensitive to the touch. I'm a little sensitive and have been getting upset, either angry or weepy, quickly. My hair doesn't fall out in the shower anymore and people think I've done something with it. I think it's great! The last one..I'm exhausted. When I close my eyes, sometimes I don't think they are going to open. Even at work with lots of kiddies running around.

I think I'll close and go to bed. I have to be up at 530 am tomorrow to drive through the snow to my dr's office and it's been a rollercoaster day.

The next day...

Okay, the thought of twins has made me excited. I'm ready for two and was awake a lot last night thinking about what needs to be done to prepare...yes I know, it's early. I am also praying and worrying about next thursday. I want to see two hearbeats. I was okay with having one, but now that I'm pregnant with two, I want both to make it. I haven't told anyone in my life that I'm having twins. I feel it will jinx it. So we are hoping and praying for strong heartbeats next thursday. Pray for us

Wowo!

There are two. We are having twins. I am trying to sit on this information until we have two heartbeats. I can't believe we are having twins!! Here is a picture of my babies. I love them already!!!!

First U/S tomorrow!!

Tomorrow is my first ultrasound. I am so excited. Just needed to update!

5 Weeks!!!!

I'm 5 weeks today!! 1 month and 1 week. I feels great! In honor of week 5, I went out and bought a digital (they're expensive!) and took it. It said Pregnant! Not that I didn't think it would, but in the past (back when I thought it would be easy), I would run to the store, buy the digital and run to the bathroom to take it. Little did I know that these test are the worst to buy because they aren't as sensitive. So every dame time this thing would say "Not Pregnant" and it would be a knife to the heart. I vowed that when I did get pregnant, the first thing I would do is take a digital and have my revenge. It was sweet. I felt like I was finding out for the first time. My hubby didn't understand. He said (in his usually sarcastic way): " So, you take 2 test that come up postive, the RE himself calls you to tell you that the beta was postive and then the nurse calls to say congrats and schedules you and ultrasound and you don't believe it. But, you go and take a digital and now you believe it?" Oh he doesn't understand :)

I've gained 5.8 pounds. This isn't good. I didn't want to gain any in the first month, as you don't have too. I've too sensitive about gaining weight right now. I still have 8 months to go and I've already gained 5 of 25 I should gain. Maybe it's water weight because I haven't changed my style of eating. If anything, I've eaten less. My meals are healthy (well except last night..I had shepards pie..it was goood). but I had brocolli with it.

Those are my ramblings for today. Have a great one!

The joy of tummy troubles...

I'm not sure yet what it is. I know the progesterone can give you cramps but I'm thinking it can my your tummy queesy? I started dry heaving and gagging in line at jcp today! I was so embarrassed. My friend felt bad because all she said was lets go for "cheeburger cheeburger" and get milkshakes, and that was all it took. I think it was too early to mention food. It was 730 am, but now it's funny.

So I went shopping today. I had a blast and spent lots of money. I think I shopped for everyone though!

Giving Thanks....

"Thanks be to Him for this indescrible gift." 2 Corinthians 9:15 --
I can not express how happy I am. God gave me something I already love with all my heart. It's been 47 months since starting this journey.......Thanks be to God.

I've been feeling pretty crampy, with twinges and pulling. I don't know what 'Eggbert' is doing in there but I'm sure he's getting comfy, or at least that's what I'm praying for. Our ultrasound is next Thursday and I'm kind of nervous at what we see.

My back is hurting for all the gas I have suddenly decided to have. Don't know why I'm gassy. Maybe something I ate. My ribs feel like they are being pulled apart. None of it is departing. At this point, it can leave whichever way it chooses :). TMI sorry..

Wow oh Wow!!!

I got my beta test done today. It was 175! I am beyond happy. We have an u/s and b/w next Thursday. After I see the u/s, maybe I'll feel more like I should be feeling. My lower belly hurts a bit with the pulling and the bloating but I feel it's totally worth it.

Nov 18th...9dp5dt

Okay so it's been 9 days since my transfer. My life has been a rollercoaster this last week. On Wednesday I had bleeding at work. More than spotting, just red bleeding. I went home and stayed on my couch all day Thursday and it has all stopped. Due to that, I decided to test. I tested Friday morning (at 1 AM) and it was postive. It was soooo light though. So I'm not reading anything into it. On Saturday, I tested again. The line was a little darker. I wish I could enjoy this but until I see an ultrasound, I don't think I'll be able too. I feel nauseaus a lot. All we can do is pray for good news tomorrow. I'm feeling very optimistic but a little pessimistic as well. "I think, therefore, I am."

Nov 15th: Cycle day 26...

It's been six days since they put my beautiful embabies back in where they belong. Six days of wondering, guessing, hoping, praying, and dreaming that they are starting their life in me. Last Saturday, I felt what could of been described as Implantation cramping. It lasted for about 5 minutes and went away. Later that night, I had a second cramp that last about 2 minutes. I remember them because they hurt. It felt like someone was pinching the area of my uterus really really hard. I've had brown spotting. All normal signs that I am about to become what I've wanted to be for so long..pregnant.

Yesterday at work, I decided to help one of my Toddlers by lifting her. She just happens to be a pretty big girl and I felt my lower pelvic area give a cramp. It eased after a few seconds and I didn't think anything of it. About ten minutes later I went to use the potty to find red on the toilet paper. Fear gripped me. I sat there thinking "Spotting is normal" and I started telling myself, "just sit here a minute longer and then wipe. So I did. More red. Not pink, not light but red and lots of it. I started to panic a little more. I thought I'd sit and try to relax. Took deep breaths then it dawned on me that I would of started my period today if I wasn't on the PIO shots. That really hit me hard. Then I wiped again and again...more red. It wasn't stopping.

I went into my classroom and I felt like I was going to suffocate in there. The walls closed in and all I could think was "I just spent 15,000 dollars on something that is over. I didn't even make it to beta day" . The tears started. I couldn't hold them back. My kids were outside playing and my assistant was with them. I went to the only private place in the building..My boss' office. I sat in the chair and she looked at me. I said "I'm bleeding. It's over" and started bawling. She gave me a pep talk and told me I should go home and cry and call the doctor because I wouldn't be any help to the children in the state I was in. Head bowed, I talked to my assistant and she gave me a hug and I went home. Called my dr and waited.

He called back and said that some bleeding is normal, I should take the day off tomorrow (today) and call him if the bleeding continues. My p4 was normal so there was no increase in PIO shots. I also had a therapy appointment last night. She said that I should take the time off and tell myself over and over that I'm pregnant. It's okay to spot.

I went home, used the restroom again, only to see nothing on the paper. Nothing. No brown, no pink, no nothing. I breathed a sigh of relief. I'm staying home today. I'm relaxing. Nothing to stress about. I'm okay. I'm still pregnant (if only in my mind) and I'm okay. The brown is back this morning but I'm okay.

Today is cycle day 26. I'm 6dp5dt. I am sooo poas this saturday!

I worry too much..

I thought when my work was done, I would relax. Although I'm not stressing the whole "Am I pregnant" thing, I just feel that everytime I use the bathroom and wipe, there will be blood. I panic everytime I use the bathroom. I have cramps that feel like menstrual cramps and it's my fear of this that I'm afraid of. I know whatever will happen will happen but Im just not ready for it to be over yet.