Dreams..

There once was a house. This house was 2 bedrooms. This house was made of concrete. There was no insulation, no dry wall, just concrete. It had little windows and it sat on a corner with a large yard and pretty trees in the yard. It housed a man struggling with his undiagnosed bi polar manic personality, a woman who married too young and was miserable, a 10 year old, an 8 year old, a 2 year old and an infant. They lived there for two years. In the winter, the older childrens blankets would freeze to the wall. Neither parent worked. In those two years, many bad things happened. The worst ones being:

• Man was in a horrible car accident that wasn't his fault, that left them car-less in the middle of the woods, later being sued by the person at fault and losing.
• 8 year old broke his arm at school. No medical insurance, more stress on man and woman
• The now 11 year old came home from school with high fever, parents sent her to bed with a prayer that all would be fine come morning (no money for dr bill)..Morning came much worse, man gone, woman alone with too many kids and no car/no phone...girls aunt (a nurse) came by and saw little girl (by the hand of God, she came). Little girl seriously ill. DX Ruptured appendix, near death.
• Babies get sick
• Man and Woman fight more.
• Woman comes out of house and yells for kids to pack their stuff, they are leaving.
• Man and Woman get divorce.

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The house still stands. I drove past it while on vacation. It's got a family living there again. It looks a little remodeled but the beautiful lawn is overgrown. I hate this house. I wish it would of burned to the ground. I never want to step foot in this house again.

Why am I posting this?

Last night I had a dream that I went back this house. The house was painful to walk through, the floors were covered with garbage from my past. Dogs that have died were running through the yard. A baby was in the living room in the swing. I didnt' know the babys name, or if it was a boy or a girl, but it was there smiling at me when I walked in. I hated being there. I walked into another room and my mom was sitting there on the couch. I asked her what she was doing and she didn't respond.

Thank goodness katies Cry woke me up. I didn't want to be there anymore but I couldn't get out.

Planning a birthday bash is hard work...

and I really even started yet.

So far, I've sent out the invites (sorry for the crappy photo)




And got the birthday outfits.




I still need to:

• Get decorations, utensils and plates/napkins
• Decide on menu
• Go grocery shopping
• Get party bag items
• Make Party bags
• Buy and wrap the gifts from my mom and dad
• Buy and wrap the gifts that are from us
• Order cakes

On Friday, the day before, we will get all the tables out, cleaned and ready then on Sat, we will decorate. Not sure when we will do the rest. I have three weeks but I can't do all the errands with the girls by myself and hubby only has Sat and Tuesdays to help. I think it will all go as planned, I'm just stressin' it.

Monday, I've decided to start my diet again. I see a bit of the weight creeping back slowly and we can't have that. My goal is to lose all this weight by next summer, but I'm going to make short 20lb goals until I make it. I've decided to take photos but not show anyone until after the weight is gone.

That is all that is on my mind right now, I'm sure I'll think of more later :)

Oh yeah, I forgot..on Tuesday (just passed) I turned 30. I kept complaining to my grandmother that I didn't want to be 30. I wanted to stay 29 and she reminded me of my dads cousin Anthony who, at 29, after complaining he didn't want to turn 30, was killed in a car accident before his birthday "so he will forever be 29". I never met him but it makes me sad. So I am very happy that I am 30, that I've gotten 30 years and that I have more time with my precious girls...even if I do feel old right now haha.

I need to get back on a diet..

It's almost 11 and I'm eating strawberry mini wheats.

Today we took the girls for a follow up and got some news.

Karly needs to have some bloodwork and see a GI doctor. She just isn't gaining any weight. Good thing our Pedi is a stick herself because she told me she wasn't worried and that Karly will probably just be a skinny kid but she just wants to rule out any health issues which will make me feel better.

Katie is in good health. She is now a little over 21 pounds and healthy.

I can't believe my girls are almost 1. How did that happen? When did it happen? Tonight I was working on their invites. I'm loving them so far. I'll wait a few weeks before ordering them and I promise to share them soon.

Back from vacation..

If you don't have facebook, you really should get it so I can add you and you can see the million vacation pictures :).

We had a great vacation. Traveling went great and we were way ahead of schedule. Girls were perfect and I couldn't of asked for better weather.

The first week went great. The second was a little chilly and rainy, then hot and humid.

The girls ended up getting throat infections and had 103 fevers. Not fun at all.

They are feeling better but have checkups tomorrow morning.

I really miss my family. It was great spending so much time with them.

The girls went swimming for the first time. I'm very happy they love the water just like their mommy.

We had an early birthday party for the girls because my mom wanted it. It went very nice and we had a windy but beautiful day.

Karly is starting to stand and tring to walk. Katie is getting better at pulling herself up and not falling as much. They are 11 months old as of Sunday.

I'm very tired but I'm going to start blogging every night :) before bed. I keep forgetting to write things down in their baby book, so I must write it somewhere.