Dreams..

There once was a house. This house was 2 bedrooms. This house was made of concrete. There was no insulation, no dry wall, just concrete. It had little windows and it sat on a corner with a large yard and pretty trees in the yard. It housed a man struggling with his undiagnosed bi polar manic personality, a woman who married too young and was miserable, a 10 year old, an 8 year old, a 2 year old and an infant. They lived there for two years. In the winter, the older childrens blankets would freeze to the wall. Neither parent worked. In those two years, many bad things happened. The worst ones being:

• Man was in a horrible car accident that wasn't his fault, that left them car-less in the middle of the woods, later being sued by the person at fault and losing.
• 8 year old broke his arm at school. No medical insurance, more stress on man and woman
• The now 11 year old came home from school with high fever, parents sent her to bed with a prayer that all would be fine come morning (no money for dr bill)..Morning came much worse, man gone, woman alone with too many kids and no car/no phone...girls aunt (a nurse) came by and saw little girl (by the hand of God, she came). Little girl seriously ill. DX Ruptured appendix, near death.
• Babies get sick
• Man and Woman fight more.
• Woman comes out of house and yells for kids to pack their stuff, they are leaving.
• Man and Woman get divorce.

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The house still stands. I drove past it while on vacation. It's got a family living there again. It looks a little remodeled but the beautiful lawn is overgrown. I hate this house. I wish it would of burned to the ground. I never want to step foot in this house again.

Why am I posting this?

Last night I had a dream that I went back this house. The house was painful to walk through, the floors were covered with garbage from my past. Dogs that have died were running through the yard. A baby was in the living room in the swing. I didnt' know the babys name, or if it was a boy or a girl, but it was there smiling at me when I walked in. I hated being there. I walked into another room and my mom was sitting there on the couch. I asked her what she was doing and she didn't respond.

Thank goodness katies Cry woke me up. I didn't want to be there anymore but I couldn't get out.