As I sit here thinking..

I think about all the great things I've been given. I think about the doors that have opened to get me to IVF successfully. Money, for one, was going to be a big issue, or so I thought it was. It turned out, though, that it wasn't. My next fear was the meds. They were so much and the insurance company told me that nothing involving IVF was covered. Meds added more money but when I tried to fill them, the pharmacy was stopped by the insurance company and the insurance company paid them. I had a 50$ copay. Everything seemed to be working in my favor and I believe the Lord was in front of my opening the doors for me to walk through. I was really meant to be a mother. Right? If everything to set me up for IVF worked, why then was the cycle cancelled? Twice? My faith is taking a severe beating. I know it is and it's been really hard to just except that it wasn't the right time. I know I'm not a patient person and maybe HE knew that if he didn't open up any doors until the time was right, I would of been miserable. I have hope upon hope and I pray to God my Lord and Savior, the October is the right time for me. I wish we were all given little books into our lifes. It doesn't have to be a glimpse, just a little sidenote or something. Well those are my thoughts for the morning.