Sunday, April 27, 2008

The Third Trimester!!!!!

The third trimester starts this week! Holy Cow where did the time go? According to the ticker at the top of this page I am 7 months!!!!! We have 10 weeks to go until our goal of 37w and 3d. Needless to say, my hubby and I never dreamed we'd make it this far. We have been truely blessed by God. Why we had to suffer infertility, I do not know. Why it took us so long to concieve, I do not know. Although the pain is still there, I'm proud of what I made it through. I'm proud that I was strong enough to overcome it and I know where the strength came from. So, although God didn't give me infertility, God didn't make me suffer, he gave me courage to go through and paved a way to the resources I needed to have a baby (babies) and I am blessed. Praise the Good Lord Almighty!!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Information Overload...

To bank or not to bank babys cord blood? To use BPA-free bottles or are others okay? Should I vaccinate? Will the vaccination give my babies autism? Do I use the bumper? Should I use the sleep positioners? I'm not this kind of person. I don't read things and freak out. I go with my gut but all of this information and the fact that the health of my babies may be at risk? And I'm responsible? AAAAAH!!!

There is too much to think about. Lets see, to bank or not to bank. About 1% of cord blood is actually used. So, following that, I'll probably never use it and can save a few thousand dollars. BUT what if I fall in that 1% and my baby needs it and I didn't bank it. Would I hate myself? Probably. Would I blame myself? Definately. Should I do it? I don't know....

BPA bottles. I have never seen someone not use a bottle because of this. At first I was thinking this is another way to freak people out and cause hysterics and I registered for The First Years "Breastflow" bottles and Avent bottles. I bought a pack of soothie bottles myself. So, why did I take them off my registry? Because I found out that by the end of this year, Babies R Us and Toys R Us will not sell a bottle that contains BPA. So do I buy bottles I know the store I bought them from is throwing them away? Do I use bottles for my babies that I know the store I got them from doesn't even want them in the store? I tried to read about it and ended up getting upset. Bottles labeled with a 7 at the bottom have the most leakage of chemicals in them. The soothie bottles I bought? All labeled with a 7. I'm breastfeeding but I'm also pumping and bottle feeding. I gave this decision to my dh. He can read and tell me whats best.

Vaccinations are needed. They are important. They will get them but what if? What if the information is correct? What if I do something and my babies get autism? Rediculous is what my head is saying. I had them all...but I got them at different stages of life. Now they do them all at once. I think with this issue, I will be reading about each vaccination and going through them one at a time and staggering them. Of course, I will go over this with a dr.

The bumper and the sleep postioner. I love the bumper. I want to use the postioner. I registered for two. Do I leave it in though? Should I use it? I can't decide. Best bet is I see what kind of sleeping babies I have. Are they like me and roll everywhere or are they like their father and still when they sleep. We'll see.

I feel like I needed to talk this out with myself to clear my head of all this. I need to think clear and levelheaded and not with fear.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

It's almost time...

It's almost time for me to leave work and go on maternity. I don't think I will be returning to work and my wish is to stay home and raise my babies. This sounds great to me but as the date nears, I am getting panicky. I've finished all my work. My lesson plans are done until August 22nd and other than a few items to prepare, I'm done. I met someone that might be covering my room. Not replacing me (my assistant will replace me) but she replaces her and I don't like her. She's loud and annoying. Granted I don't have to work with her but I don't want the kids to have to be with her. It's not really anything I should worry about since I'm quitting but I do.

Also, I think I'm having feelings of uselessness. "What am I going to do before babies and after I stop working?" The obvious answer is get ready for babies. For some reason my head isn't wrapping around that. For the last 7 years I've woken up before 7, got ready and went to work. Worked a 9-10 hour day and came home. My life has revolved around my job for 7 years and now it's going away and I think I'll continue to feel this way until I go into labor and have my babies.

However, I am growing increasingly uncomfortable. My feet hurt and my back aches. I'm not as flexible. Tying shoes has become something I can't do anymore unless I sit on the floor and pull the foot to me but then I can't get up from the floor. I wake up when I roll over and that's a job in itself. I have 10 days left of work and my body is telling me that it's too much.

But in baby news, at my last appointment heartbeats were great and I'm measuring 34/35 weeks (i'm 27 weeks lol) so they are growing and so am I.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Less than 100 days....

In less than 100 days I'll be a mommy to what I can will be cutest babies in the world. Next thursday I will enter the third and final trimester and my new OB said that's the hardest, so I'm ready. He also said my last day of work will probably be May 2nd but I don't see him again until May 7th, so I'm not sure if I will finish and work until the 9th or if the 6th will be my last day. I had what I think were contractions yesterday. They didn't last long but were really uncomfortable. It was about 1 an hour and I had 3 (that I know of). It just felt like I couldn't take a breath to safe my life and everything felt so tight. It was so uncomfortable but they are both moving this morning and I feel fine so I'm not worried. I figured it was just braxton hicks. It's going to be a long day today. My friends mother is having surgery to repair one of her augmentated breast (she is recovering from her second round of breast cancer) and my friend didn't have anyone to take her to school. Her husband was going to bring him really early to school but found out he had to be at work at 5 am so he couldn't do it. I said "Bring him to my house and I'll take him to school". She said 6am was too early for me to be up but I assured her I would be up and since he's one of the kids in my class, I'm going that way. I thought for sure I'd but up and I was but I didn't fall asleep last night until way after midnight and had to pee every 20 minutes so now I'm soooo tired. Good news is..he happily entertained watching tv and eating his bagel :). And I feel like I need a few more hours of sleep. The babies are moving so much more now. I find myself laying down at night just enjoying the feeling of them. Sometimes it feels like they are fighting lol. It's great. If you're reading, I hope you enjoyed my very early morning of ramblings. Enjoy your day :).

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

New Doctor~~

I love my new dr!!! He has a lot of personality and smiles a lot. Something my old doc never did. He seems to really like what he does and answers all questions, even dumb ones :). He said we would wait until the babies are ready or showed signs that they needed to be delivered, not force them out like my ob planned to. The top picture is the girls, yes I said GIRLS, they were confirmed today, heads together and they are both head down. It is a very cute picture. The second one is baby A sucking her thumb. I love it!! Both babies are doing great and Baby A weight 1 pound 13 ounces and Baby B weight 1 pound 10 ounces.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

25 weeks!!

I have finished 25 weeks of my pregnancy and feel that I'm nearing the last leg of this journey. Today I took out their coming home outfits, cut the tags off (of course saved them for their baby books) and layed them in the crib along with socks and mittens to match. I need to get them hats because it will be July and I read that babies need to wear hats. Maybe we'll use them, maybe we won't but I layed them out and I can't wait until my babies are in them. Yesterday, I was folding the blankets and burping clothes and pictured myself holding my babies in these blankets and may of believed for a second that this is actually going to happen. I am actually going to get to be a mommy. It only lasted for a second and it was gone again. Infertility takes a lot away from you. Makes you suffer and when you think it's over, it isn't. I'm prepared for them but fear getting my hopes up. In a few weeks I will wash all of their stuff and get the bags ready. Each step is one step closer to what I've waited for for 4 years!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

My Bad two days...

I'm 24 weeks and 4 days and up until yesterday, I've never bothered my OB for anything. Not that she ever seemed interested in solving my problems or answering my questions but everything was going great, so I never pushed it. Yesterday I woke up feeling sick. My back was hurting a lot and I felt so much pressure in my lower areas. It was scary so I called my OB and she called me back, sounding half asleep I might add, and told me to stay home and stay in bed. Nothing else. A few hours later, her nurse, Erin, called me to ask how I was. I told her I was still the same and she said okay and hung up. I waited a few more hours and called the OB back wondering what I should do about feeling this way. Her advice was go to MFM sooner than my next week appointment. So I made an appointment at MFM for this morning at 830. When I got to the appointment, they did the FFN test to make sure I wasn't going into preterm labor, that was negitive. They checked my cervix, it was long and closed and they checked to make sure I wasn't having contractions, I'm not. Then they sent me on my way. I called the dr and said that everything seemed to be fine but she wasn't in to make the decision of me going back to work and I asked why she wasn't seeing me to find out what happened yesterday. I was still crampy and wanted to know why. I felt like I had a bladder infection or something. So after asking and asking, they finally gave my appointment to come in. Here is how that appointment went.

I walk in at 315 pm (330 appt) and Erin says "come on back". I open the door and walk in. She shows me where the bathroom is. I know the routine, I do it every three weeks. She tells me to do a sterile collection, so I do. There is no pen in the bathroom to write my name so I carry the card and cup out to find a pen. I take it to the nurses' station and tell the nurse (well call Nurse B for short) that I couldn't find a pen and could I borrow hers. She doesn't even look at me and says "Don't worry about it, I don't need it" picks up her chart says "okay" and walks away. This is the part of the appointment where you sit in the green room or you get put into a room. Not knowing which to do, I waited, thinking Nurse B would come back in and tell me where to go. She didn't. I slowly walked back up to the front desk and waited. I saw Nurse B lean over to Erin and whisper. I heard my name, some more whispering and then the words "Just let her stand there". Erin then looked at me and told me to wait there for the dr. When the dr came in Nurse B walked over to her and said "Tina is...." she lowered her voice so I couldn't hear. The dr came out of her office with my chart and walked my into her office. She didn't look at me or ask me how I was feeling, just started writing. Her first words were "You can go to work now". I was dumbfounded. I said "My shift ends in an hour". She says "I don't know what you want to me to do. Do you want to go to work or not?" I said I did but it's to late for today and that I'll go tomorrow but that I wanted to know what the cramping was and if I should be worried about it or was it normal. She said "You're getting big." Then she stood up and without saying anything, left her office. I was crying by the time I got to the elevator. It was horrible. On the way home, I called my insurance and asked if a change of OB at 6 months was doable and she said yes, so I found an OB and called them. They said they'd have to review my charts but being that I've had an uncomplicated pregnancy it shouldn't be a problem. I made an appointment for Wednesday and hung up. I called my former OB office to ask them to send my records to this new place and here is how that went. "Dr.'s Office" "Hi, I'd like to have my records faxed to another clinic, how would I go about doing that" Nurse B "Hold on a minute". Billing lady "HI Tina" What!!! I never said it was Tina.. "Tina, listen, I don't know what happened here today but you are obviously upset. If you want your records faxed over, fax me the info and I will do it" Me "Okay, thanks". Half an hour later, its my OB. "Tina, I don't know what you're upset over" "Your nurse is mean and blah blah" Dr "I know, I'm firing her." What?? "I just felt today that I didn't get the best care that I except and that doesn't work for me" Dr. "I'll call you later" at the end of the day she called and apologized. She apologized for being distracted and for her nurse bitch. She said friday is her last day. She hopes I will come in on Wednesday for my appointment.

So I was thinking "She apologized right?" "I don't have to switch, right?" but then tonight it hit me. What happens the next time I feel something is wrong? Will I be ignored the same way? Not for nothing but the nurse was a bitch but the dr wasn't much better. I think I've made up my mind. I think I'll be switching. I need to do what's best for us and although I know she wouldn't compromise my babies, my being stressed and upset isn't healthy and I shouldn't dread going to my OB. So getting this off my chest, I think I should be able to continue with my night sleeping :). Am I making the right choice? Who knows...

Sunday, April 6, 2008

6 months and a new crib!!

We have finally bought, assembled and decorated our new crib!!! We could not be happier with it. I'm in love and can't wait until my little loves are in it.