I have a goal...

I know this is my infertility blog but I'm on a break so I need something else to talk about. Okay. My goal is to lose 15 pounds before my stim meds start on October 20th. I will still be overweight, but how much can an person lose in two months. So I'm shooting for 15 pounds. I always heard if you write down what you eat, you won't eat as much. So we are going to try that. Although I don't eat much now and have already lost 12 pounds since feb/mar. So it will be 27 pounds lost in Oct and that's not to bad, I think. I did start weight watchers but I didn't finish it.
On a different note, My neighbor, who lives across the street, has an adorable little girl. I watch them from my office desk go in and out of their home. Sound creepy? It probably is. I'm so jealous sometimes. I don't mean to sin (the jealousy, not the stalkerish thing) but she has an adorable daughter, a cute dog, just moved into a nice, new, just built home and a nice husband. ( I like my husband just fine, I just had to add that in) and she gets to be a stay at home mom. She basically just takes her to the park (down the road) and goes shopping, walks the dog, etc.. Why can't I have that???
Well, that brings me to my next thought. "Life's Not Fair". My therapist made me say that to make myself believe it. For one..YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL A PERSON GOING THROUGH INFERTILITY that LIFES NOT FAIR. Trust me. We know. I tried to explain that to her but she kept saying "You need to let yourself know that lifes not fair and except it." How do you except that the drug addicted 16 year old homeless person can get pregnant and not myself. I know that good things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people, bad people get bad things and good people get good things. I know the world doesn't owe me a baby but it would be nice to have the ability to chose to have one and chose when and around the part of the year. Not due 9 months from whenever they put the embryo's back in.
Well I guess I should end this....for breakfast I had 1 cup of grapes, a banana and ACK! half a donut. In my defense they were there but I only ate half. Tonight is not looking good. We are going to the brazillion bbq. Where they feed you endlessly for 30$ Good thing my stomach doesn't hold that much.