I love being a mom. I knew I'd love being a mom but I love it even more than I ever imagined. I love walking into their room and seeing them smile at me. I love when I hear them saying "Mama" even if they don't *really* mean it yet. I love when they wake up in the middle of the night, okay so I don't exactly *love* waking up at 1am, reaching for me and when I pick them up the bury their faces in my neck and go back go sleep. I love the giggles, the smiles and hugs.
Of course, there are things I don't enjoy. The fighting they do, the tantrums. The screaming at bedtime. What I didn't consider is the fact that somehow a mother needs to take time to make sure she takes care of herself. I started out thinking that all I needed to do what to take care of them, keep them fed and happy. Not true.
Three weeks ago I started having pain. I ignored the pain. Wednesday it became so severe I had to go to the doctors and felt I was on the verge of going insane. My doctor said he thinks its my intestines. That I have a possible infection and treated it but sent me to have an u/s to make sure it's nothing else. I haven' taken the time to find another Gyno, so now I need to find one because today, at the u/s, they found an few items that need to be examined by a gyno. I still have fluid around my ovary, I still have pcos and I have what looks like another large cyst but my uterus is still very large and they couldn't get a good look at it. I am going for a CT scan in, oh crap, 2 minutes. I'm hoping it goes well and the radiololgist said that whatever it is probably benign but with a family history of uterine cancer, I'm alway nervous. Okay 1 minute...
I'm also dehydrated most of the time. I can never remember to drink something and I am doing so badly at my weight loss goal :(.
I've got to find an equal balance between kids and self. Any suggestions?