I never rocked the girls to sleep. Well I shouldn't say 'never'. There was the occasional time where I would hold one and rock or daddy would. When they were little, they fell asleep with a bottle and we would just them in bed. As they got older, we gave them bottles, baths, books and bed. We put them in bed awake and they would lay down and go to sleep. They never needed to be rocked. Last night, they didn't need to be rocked either but I'm not sure if it's the sudden awareness that they are going to be a year old next week or just the fact that I'm not having any more babies, that I just felt the need to rock them. Together.
Having multiples is hard. Everyone knows this. For me, I get up and change two diapers, make 2 bottles, dress two babies and get them ready for breakfast. Make double the baby food and feed them. After breakfast, one baby wants to be read to and the other baby wants to get into everything. Mommy wants to go to the bathroom, wash her face, brush her teeth, I have to transport two babies into the bathroom with me (since I'm not allowed out of their radar) and try to keep them out of everything while I do it. Two babies make double the mess. You should see the room when they are done.
Going out with them by myself is fun but it isn't. Maybe when they walk, it will be more fun.
Snuggle times. Double the hugs, right? Not when they want mommy to themselves. It ends up being a huge fight over who sits on mommys lap.
Anyway, it's been almost a year and I look back on things that I didn't get to do that I would of done with one baby. Like rock my baby to sleep or sit and cuddle with my baby and enjoy bunches of one on one. Then, I remember that I didn't get to raise one little baby for a year, I got to raise two. I got double the love, double the kisses, double the memories. I have memories for each of them. Katie, we went to the zoo, and you loved the big kitties. You just had to keep staring for what seemed like forever. Karly, You got so excited when you saw the monkeys and the turtles, which is funny because I used to say you looked like a turtle when you were very small and we call you a monkey now because you make monkey noises and crawl around on your feet.
Four days from now, my sweet baby girls will be one. Last night, they didn't need to be rocked but I asked my husband if he would help me get them on my lap and they both lay there in the dark room, Karly with her thumb, Katie with her paci. They talked to each other, sang, and then went quiet. They enjoyed being rocked. Just the three of us for almost an hour. I watched them as they fell asleep and it was beautiful.
Katherine and Karly, I love being your mommy and although at times I cried through the hard times, I've loved every single moment of your first year and look foward to many, many more.