Saturday, August 7, 2010


As I type, My beautiful girls are take a much needed nap. Today has been a wonderful day, just the three of us. Mommy/daughters Saturdays are very addicting and today was our third "adventure". Today is gorgeous so we spent some time at the park, had lunch together and then we bought daddy lunch and brought it to him at work. I know it's not a lot but it's a start. It's not that I'm an insecure mother ( I think I'm awesome, btw, haha) it's that my anxiety/panic issues cause me to hold back a bit. My fear of the "what ifs" can be a handicap. I tend to worry about things that could not possibly happen but in my head they can. I wasn't always this bad, I used to take medications for it, but I stopped to have a healthy baby and decided not to start them again. For the most part, I do okay. Anyway, today I was told that I have very well behaved daughters. I smiled and thanked her then laughed to myself.

We took Katie to the Audiologist and had her hearing tested. She's having issues with sounding out her words. She talks non stop so that's not the issue but you can't understand much of what she says. When I listen, as a teacher, to her talk I know she needs speech therapy. When I listen as a mother, I don't. I let everyone talk me out of it but my boss and a fellow teacher. They both said I already know in my gut and my head that she needs Speech but I'm letting my heart over rule.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong or embarrassing about speech. It's just that everyone knows their child is perfect and nothing will ever be wrong.

Anyway, she passed her hearing test in normal ranges and the ENT said to call Early Intervention before she gets any older. I plan to call this week and set up an appointment to have her tested. To qualify, she has to have a 33% delay. We'll see how it goes.

Karly has been learning so much. She loves to sing and run and talk. She loves to have fun. Her life is pretty uneventful and we like it that way. She gets more and more like her daddy everyday. Today she was awake and just layed there unwilling to get up. Katie is like me. Shes up when her eyes open.

The only negitive thought in my head is this one..

You know how when you love something and you give it all you've got and then you realize it's all for nothing? You lose the joy you had for it and it becomes a chore. I feel this way about one part of my life. I try and try but in the end it's the same result. There's only a short amount of time until this is over and hopefully all will be well.

We'll just leave it at that.

Girls start school in 4 weeks. I'm so excited!

1 comment:

Cassie said...

I love your new layout!

That sounds like a wonderful day. I still get nervous taking Andrew and Will out on my own...Don't know how you've done it all this time with twins! You are totally my hero :)