Sunday, October 21, 2007

Cycle day 2

Okay. I know this is for a good cause and I'm doing it for a really good reason, but the side effects are just awful. This morning, around 3 (I'd been sleeping for about 2 hours) I woke up with an open mouth silently screaming. Another nightmare. I seem to have one every night. Last night I stubbled upon and lake and under the water were family members, eyes open reaching for me. They were dead. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. I stood there and tried for what seemed like hours. When I woke, I was laying there opened mouth, tearing, shaking and feeling sick. I'm not sure if it's the Lupron or just something hormonal going on but I don't like it. I did not feel like this the last 2 times.

I've also been having a dull ache in my left side. Last time, that meant a cyst. I'm afraid that they will find one tomorrow. I am really trying to relax and I'm sure after tomorrow I'll be able to. I'm waiting for the docs office to call and schdule that this morning.

In a vain attempt to do something normal, my husband and I and the in-laws are going to breakfast this morning. It's nice to do a family get together. I wish I could bring my parents along but they live far. I miss my home, too. I'm sure this depression thing isn't helping but I'm still seeing my therapist, who is really really helping me.

The doc called and I'm in for tomorrow! I have my meds and they are going to go over them and make sure I have all of the things I need to start. I have some of it because I received it before my cycle was cancelled in July. I just need more this time.

No comments: