Tis the season...

Loving all the Christmas Music!!!
Things to blog about:

• Christmas shopping
• Girls and the day
• Why do some people do what they do?
• Going out

1. Yesterday, my dh decided that we needed to go out as a family and do some Holiday shopping. It was a very nice afternoon. (We didn't head out until 4). We went to Fortunoff and JCPenneys. We spent a lot, got some nice things for the girls. I know they don't know what's going but they need stuff so why not? Besides, between now and July they will need stuff right? After shopping, we ate at Cheeseburger in Paradise and then went to Babies R Us. There were hardly any people there and the girls were being so good until the end. In BRU, Katie wanted out of her carseat so I took her out and let her sit in the shopping cart. She did so well! I was so afraid of all the germs, so I held on to her hands so she wouldn't touch it. I was not prepared for this moment, so I didn't bring any sanitizer or the cover. Overall it was a very nice family day.

2. Today was a pretty good day. Katie and Daddy got up around 9 and went to the living room and left mommy and Karly sleeping. Karly woke up and daddy come in around 10:15 but for some reason mommy couldn't wake up. Reason: it seems that Mommy has come down with a bug. I didn't feel well at all and was so tired, even after a full nights sleep. I got up a little before 11 and made the girls bottles. (Daddy apparently didn't know they needed to eat :)) After their bottles, they played for awhile then I made them some cereal and applesauce for lunch. After that, they took a nap and I layed back. Still not feeling well. The girls didn't sleep long and it was back to work. They are getting so much bigger and I just look at them and miss those teeny tiny babies I use to have. Karly pulled herself up on her knees today and her face went into the mattress lol. It was cute. Katie coos and gahs a lot more and is getting louder. I ended up going to be at 330 and sleeping until 530 with Katie while daddy played with Karly. I really should be going to bed because I'm feeling pretty bad but I wanted to post and I still have to make bottles. So much for time management.

3. Why do people give their 7 day old cereal? I know why one parent did it. So he would sleep through the night. Well guess what...it didn't work. Now he's one very big 2 month old. I just don't get it. I have another friend who just had a baby and all she did when I called to say congrats was complain. OH she doesn't sleep, all she wanted to do was play, I'm tired....Okay I get it, the beginning is hard but wheres the "She's so pretty, so precious, so tiny, I'm in love?" Oh well.

4. I went out Friday night to my boss' house and got drunk..it was nice lol. She kept refilling my Apple Martini...oh it was soooooooooooo good. I was feeling sick to my stomach yesterday but totally worth it. I left around 7 pm, the girls did the night routine with daddy and I dont' think they missed me. I didn't even feel guilty about leaving.

I think this is all that's on my mind. Night.

Drama Drama Drama...

Okay the drama at work is driving me nuts! I don't understand where it comes from. I go in, I do my job, barely talk to anyone and it finds me. I quietly do my job and now I'm "being taken advantage of" and I don't say anything about it and now it's drama. I didn't think I was being taken advantage of and I didn't care enough about the situation to open my mouth. Doesn't that scream "leave me out of it!"? Apparently not. Oh well I guess thats what you get when you work with a bunch of women.

ON to the good stuff!!!

My beautiful chubby babies and yes, don't judge me, she is chewing on her sock (that I just took off her foot). She was holding it and as I snapped the picture she shoved it in her mouth. Good hand-eye coordination right? hehe...Anyway here are my chuck a lunks. Not that I think they are chunky (they are actually still lightweights) but they are much more chunky than the little things I gave birth to.

Here is my baby Karly. Yes her shirt is wet. She spits up and drools like crazy. Hubby probably forgot the bib or it got really wet and he took it off. She loves this toy and I am just so happy she is holding it. I find lately, that they love to pick things up and put them to their mouth. They don't always put it in their mouth, sometimes (unless it's a sock) they just lick it. This toy makes music whenever it's moved so it plays alot. She is also rolling over. Not sure if I've blogged this yet. She rolled over a few weeks ago and I think it scared her so she doesn't do it unless she's really upset and I make her stay on her tummy until she does.....mean mommy :).

Katherine is rolling over too. It's almost impossible to get her to lay on her tummy now. It's so cute. She loves her horn. I love this photo because of the reflection of her little eye. She is actually watching tv. Probably Wonder Pets or Yo Gabba Gabba. We keep noggin on for the songs and noise (we use cds too) but she's started looking at the tv more so I may have to buy the music cds of the shows and play them. I love Laurie Berkner and she sings alot on Jacks big music show.

They SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!
Oh how wonderful is that. Last night we slept from 830 pm to 6 am, got a bottle and slept from 630 am to 1030 am. It was soo nice and quiet this morning. Usually they are up about 830 or 9. They set their own bedtime. Now at 830, they get tired and cranky, so we just put them in bed and they fall asleep. That is until tonight. I put them in bed and they screamed and screamed and screamed. So I went in and got them, laid them on my bed and what happens? They look right at me and flash me the biggest "I've got you wrapped so tight around my finger, you ain't ever coming off". Sheesh..

Well I should be going to bed. Night all!

November is a month I'll always hold dear...

• November 4th 2007: Egg Retrieval..5 eggs
• November 5th 2007: 4 mature and fert
• November 9th 2007: 2 embryos survived the week and were transfered
• November 10th 2007: felt sharp pains that took my breath away (3 times)
• November 14th 2007: Started spotting, got very bad feelings
• November 16th 2007: HPT had a VERY faint positive
• November 18th 2007: HPT had another VERY faint positive
• November 19th 2007: Beta test, My RE called me personally and said

"Hi Tina, It's Dr. N...... Did the bleeding stop? Good, Good. Listen, you're pregnant sweetie."

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

• November 29th 2007: TWINS!

That was my November 2007. Crazy how one month can totally change your whole life. It was a change for the better and I am so blessed to have these two perfect, beautiful girls in my life. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Katherine and Karly turn 4 months!

I wanted to say "Thank You" to all the comments yesterday. It's nice to know there are shoulders out there to lean on and an ear to listen. Thanks again and big (((HUGS))) to you!

I love this photo :)

4 months today!!

Katherine Emily:

Katherine is smiling a lot more than she used to. Sometimes we even get a giggle out of her. She is also starting to hold on to her pony and doesn't drop it. She isn't really interested in chewing on anything but her hands and today, she found her foot and wouldn't let it go. She loves watching Yo Gabba Gabba with daddy in the evening. Her body just goes crazy when it comes and on. She laughs and kicks and waves her arms about. She hasn't really found her voice and when she babbles, it's kind of quiet, almost a whisper. She loves kisses and loves giving kisses. She now sleeps from 9:30 to about 5:30, then from 6 to 9. Lovin' it! She is also trying to sit up although she's no where near that. Tummy time is starting to be fun for her and she loves her solids. Cereal with bananas and applesauce.

Karly Elizabeth:

Karly has started to babble a lot. She squeals with excitement or yells when she's mad. She smiles almost non stop, giggles a lot and it's very loud. When she stares at you, you know she's trying to figure something out. Shes found her thumb and is very good at self soothing and putting herself back to sleep. Karly is starting to sleep through the night. She usually goes to sleep at 930 and wakes up about 7, eats then sleeps until 9ish. She loves grabbing toys, batting at them and loves staring at her feet. She loves her cereal, although she hasn't lost the tongue thrust yet so it's a bit difficult to feed her. She is losing it slowly though.

I may be missing a few things but there is an update on my 4 month old babies :).

My boss invited me to a jewelry party. She knows my current predicament and told me getting out with the girls and having some fun would be good for me. Shes had some bad life spells too (her dad died, hubby left her and the kids) so she said it's time for some things to go back to normal and to have some fun. So I guess I'll be going. My hubby will be taking care of the little ones.

I'm also going to the work christmas party. It's just us girls (that work at the center). There should be drinking and having lots of fun. I didn't enjoy it much last year because I was secretly pregnant and couldn't drink and was afraid to jump and dance around lol. I also wanted to avoid the "why aren't you drinking" question. This year should be more fun.

Last night, I took the first dose. It made me very sleepy. Of course, I don't notice any effect but that can take weeks. I'm jus surprised at how tired I am. Good thing I took it at night.

"You have good, beautiful babies"....

Is what the dr said as I told him the PPD wasn't going away. He said I should be happy, and I'm not. I tried to explain that I am happy with my children and I love them dearly but I couldn't stop crying long enough to explain it. I'm just sad. It's not that I don't love my girls or my life, I'm just sad. Sad all the freakin' time. I'm uptight. I want people to stop talking to me.
Them: "Are they twins?"
Me: "Are you stupid? NO, they're not. The hospital was having buy one get one..."
Them: "Boy/Girl"
Me: "Yes, I dress my boy in PINK to throw stupid people off but I couldn't fool you!"
etc etc etc...
I wish I could say I've never actually said this but I have. Once when I was at a table waiting for for our food to arrive. I mostly just mumble under my breath and dart away. In all honesty, I should be happy to have people fall over themselves trying to see my girls...but I don't.

Post Partum depression sucks!!!!

The therapist says...

• You had a difficult time getting pregnant
• You have a history of anxiety and depression
• You didn't have a good delivery (it ended with me getting pumped with zanax)
• You had twins
• You do it by yourself
• No family visited you in the hospital, where you stayed for 5 days, mostly alone

What did you think was going to happen?

Oh I DON'T KNOW! Maybe I thought it would dandelions and puppy dogs.......

EDITED: He put me on Prozac...

Solids..

We gave the girls solids as per doctors request. It is supposed to keep Karlys weight up while she recovers from her stomach virus and keep her liquids in by weighting them down. The bananas are to bind her so she'll stop with the runny bms. So she also suggested that Katherine start solids to help with her reflux before it gets worse...so we did.

Katherine and her cereal. She kept chewing on her fingers while eating so she got it everywhere. Too cute :)

Karly loves her food. She loves bananas. My little monkey :).

Halloween pics :)

Resting after a night of trick or treating :)

Katie needed a few minutes to sleep before continuing.

In the stroller looking at all the funny dressed people

My Butterfly and my Poodle...my poodle isn't happy at all..

Our Halloween Day outfits

Even tired would say I'm tired haha..

I am exhausted! For some reason, my body has decided that it only needs minimal sleep before it's time to get up but doesn't think of everything it has to do before it goes to bed again.

Last night, I went to bed at 11, after everything was done for the day. I painted, cleaned, finished laundry, washed and made bottles for the night and today.

At 3:30 am, Katherine wakes up, probably thinking it's really 4:30 and since she had thrown up her bottle the night before and went to sleep on an ounce of Pedilyte, I decided to feed her. She went back to sleep but I couldn't. When I finally felt drowsy enough, Karly woke up to eat. It was 5:30 am, she usually eats around 6 so I got up to feed her. When she was finished, sun was shining (kind of) and my body decided it was time to go to work.

Today has been a long day. I cleaned the garage, organized boxes and took care of the babies. Everything was going good and at 230 I layed on the sofa with a Karly and a bottle. When she finished, she was asleep, so I joined her. It must of been right after I fell into a deep sleep that I noticed my stomach felt warm and wet. I opened my eyes in time to see Karly vomit all over herself. I sat up to grab the burp cloth and she vomited on the couch. I tried to get her over the floor (that I can clean) and she vomits on dh. I look down and am covered with it. She starts crying. I carry her into the bedroom, take off my shirt and undress Karly. She continues crying and I noticed it was coming out of her nose. After cleaning her and myself up, I thought it was over. Karly has reflux and is always spitting up (granted this was more but I'm not going to go crazy over 1 vomit session) so I put her in her bouncer and went to look at my very expensive not yet paid off suede and leather sofa. It is very much ruined. If anyone knows how to clean this, the advice is greatly appreciated.

So while holding her after this debacle, I smell a stinky diaper so I lay her down to change her and let me tell you..I was not good. It was awful. I decided with the vomit and now this, I'd take her to the dr. There they told me that she probably has a virus and to give it 3 to 4 days and if it's worse, come back. Great! Now I can only feed Karly 2 ounces per feeding. Do you know what it's like to take a bottle away from a hungry baby and tell her she can have more in an hour? It's heartbreaking.

I'm exhausted...