Thursday, November 13, 2008

"You have good, beautiful babies"....

Is what the dr said as I told him the PPD wasn't going away. He said I should be happy, and I'm not. I tried to explain that I am happy with my children and I love them dearly but I couldn't stop crying long enough to explain it. I'm just sad. It's not that I don't love my girls or my life, I'm just sad. Sad all the freakin' time. I'm uptight. I want people to stop talking to me.
Them: "Are they twins?"
Me: "Are you stupid? NO, they're not. The hospital was having buy one get one..."
Them: "Boy/Girl"
Me: "Yes, I dress my boy in PINK to throw stupid people off but I couldn't fool you!"
etc etc etc...
I wish I could say I've never actually said this but I have. Once when I was at a table waiting for for our food to arrive. I mostly just mumble under my breath and dart away. In all honesty, I should be happy to have people fall over themselves trying to see my girls...but I don't.

Post Partum depression sucks!!!!

The therapist says...
  • You had a difficult time getting pregnant
  • You have a history of anxiety and depression
  • You didn't have a good delivery (it ended with me getting pumped with zanax)
  • You had twins
  • You do it by yourself
  • No family visited you in the hospital, where you stayed for 5 days, mostly alone

What did you think was going to happen?

Oh I DON'T KNOW! Maybe I thought it would dandelions and puppy dogs.......

EDITED: He put me on Prozac...

6 comments:

Sara said...

Stupid dr. You need to find one who will listen and help you ((hugs))

Jennifer said...

I could have writen this WORD for freaking WORD. Except I'm on Zoloft.

Cassie said...

OMG, Tina, I'm so sorry. I know you'll get through this. Hugs to you!

Tracy said...

Hang in there...I hope the meds work wonders for you so you can start to really enjoy your time with your good, beautiful babies.

rachael said...

oh honey...just sending you hugs. and lots of them!

Teri said...

Oh Tina, I am so so sorry. Please let me know if I can help. Here's the new group online if you need to talk to "old friends" - everyone is still there (mostly). Just let them know who you are. I told D (10yearstoolong) to expect your application.

http://ttc1yearplus.activeboard.com/index.spark?forumID=126066&p=1