Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Thank you T-Girl for the Kind Blogger Award. I've never recieved one before. Thank you again. Congrats on your baby girl and I'm glad you are recovering nicely.

There are a few things on my mind today. One being the fact that when I give birth, I will have no family downstairs waiting for the announcement. My mom has decided that she doesn't want to come and wants to wait until we come down there. My sister has said that she and her fiance' want to go on vacation and stop by to see us, but that would require me having the babies on an exact date. So she won't be there. My dad never leaves the house, much less the state and my brothers? Well one is so self involved with his 10 year younger girlfriend to make an effort and the other, he joined the national guard and will be leaving shortly before they are due. That leaves my grandparents, uncles and aunts and my baby sister (11) who are either too old or too young to travel.

Second, why do I have to drag my two infants home so they can visit when it would be easier and healthier for them to come her and visit? They don't have to come the same week, but they could spread it out, come in car pools and share the cost. I wouldn't mine traveling the 1100 miles back home, if the dr approves, and staying put while everyone drives from their respective homes to see me, but that doesn't happen either. I have to travel to see everyone. I have to drive the half hour to my mom's house and then the hour to my dads. I have to drive the 40 minutes to see my other grandma (which I don't mind because she 81) but everyone else knows where I stay. I always stay in the same place. Why can't they come visit me? I'm thinking of making this known before I come home. "Because I've driven 1100 miles, I have two newborns, and am tired and gas cost a lot, please come visit me anytime at grandma's house". I think it's only fair.

Third, I never complain about my husband here because I never have reason to but last night he just, ohhh, he made me mad. Since I got pregnant and have only been able to sleep on my sides, my back and shoulders started hurting. They hurt all the time. Kind of like a knife in my back. My arms feels like they are spasming and my hands are swollen and numb most of the time. Last night, the pain was to much. I started crying. His reaction was I was overreacting. Which made me cry more, but he still didn't seem to care. Finally he said he was going to bed. I had already tried but the pain kept creeping in my mind and it's getting to much to ignore. I said I was going to sleep on the couch, in a sitting position and he acted like I'd killed someone, couldn't be in the same room with me, so he walked out. A little bit later, I went to bed because hey, maybe he's right. When I layed down, I started crying again because it hurt a lot. He rolled over and apologized and rubbed my back for a little while until I relaxed enough to sleep. Does it still hurt? Yes and the tips of my fingers are still numb. Am I still mad at his treatment of me? Yes, even though he apologized.

Fourth would be the dr's. I have asked my primary doctor, my old ob and my new ob and nobody seems to care that I am in a lot of pain. The primary said it might be nerve damage caused by my swelling but until I give birth there is no test and no treatment to help me. I could see a chriopractor but that wouldn't help either because he couldn't run any test either. The old OB told me there was nothing to do, it would pass. The new OB said it was probably carpal tunnel induced by the pregnancy and it would go away after I give birth. The pain and numbness increased daily and I'm afraid any damage is going to be permenant by the time I give birth and no one wants to help me.

Fifth, the damn fridge is still broken. They still haven't shipped the part and it still isn't here. Now dammit, I haven't had milk in days. I need milk. Now is not the time to start depriving myself of healthy foods and since everything has to be refridgerated, buying some while the fridge is broken, isn't smart. I did buy a milk chug yesterday and got orange juice from mcdonalds but I don't think it's enough. I asked my hubby to please bring home a single serving of milk, I just have to wait until 3 to get it.

Okay enough whinning. This is the longest post I've had in awhile :). Even though I sound miserable I am still blessed to be wonderfully pregnant and I love the feeling to them moving and kicking and growing in my belly. It's an expeirence that is all mine and something just the three of us share. I love it.

Last, I would like to pass the Kind Blogger Award on to some of my faithful readers :). Thank you for your support and kind words through your comments. They mean a lot.
  • Ariella, congrats on your pregnancy. I am so happy for you.
  • Patty, you always leave a comment. I love it and I enjoy reading your blog.
  • Kristen, I hope this summer, your dreams become a reality. You deserve it!
  • Jody, I love reading your blogs. It gives me so much insight on what to expect!

Thank you so much ladies for all your support!


Ariella said...

Thank you for the award,you made me cry.

I am sorry your DH is being insensitive about the pain. It sounds awful and it isn't right that your Drs aren't doing anything about it. It isn't right at all!

Also about your family. I have a friend who was in the same predicament (sp?) as you are, but she only had one. She and her hubby agreed on a new rule. "No more traveling, unless absolutly neccesary" This means family comes and sees you. If they don't then they don't see the babies, and that is a HUGE motavatior for grandparents-to-be.

Anonymous said...

Awww, I get an award for leaving comments! You ARE a kind blogger! :)

I'm sorry you are in such pain. Maybe you can do some research about your pain, ask around on the boards and search out some pregnancy sites about numbness in your fingers. It sounds really scary, I'm so sorry you're going through this.

If you were closer, I would be there with milk for you! Maybe you could get an ice chest?

Good luck, hun! *hugs*