Sunday, May 25, 2008


So things are beginning to worry me some. Things that are out of my hands and I can really do nothing about because people will do as they wish. There will be no respect to me or my wishes because they are viewed as selfish, when really, I'm just trying to help and let people know how it will be.

My wishes for delivery are simple. Nobody come until called or wait until the 6 pm visiting hours. I figure that babies, if they come as scheduled, will arrive around 10 am, maybe earlier, but we'll say 10.
  • 10:45 c-section complete, I may/may not get to see the babies.
  • 11:00 hubby leaves for nursery/nicu with babies for their baths, checkups etc..
  • 12:30-1:00 I get out of recovery to my own room. Still haven't seen/held/touched my babies.
  • 1:00 visiting hours start. People come in expecting to hold/see babies and I still haven't had any bonding time.
  • 4:00 everyone has to leave. Visiting hours over..finally get time with my babies.

So if they day happens like this, I won't be bonding with my babies until everyone else does.

The problem is, is that people want to show up and wait until they are born and sit in the waiting room. How am I supposed to enjoy this expierence knowing there are people waiting to get in? Am I going to be able to relax and try breastfeeding the little ones knowing that the clock is ticking to get the visitors in and out? I'm stressed even thinking about it. The next visiting hours are from 6-8. I figure more people will show up after work. The whole thing stresses me out and we can hope for perfect timing, that by 1, we've bonded as a family, both babies are fine and we are ready to except visitors at 1, but I can't promise. But since no one wants to do it my way, I guess my only option is to not care what they are doing and if they chose not do follow my wishes or adhere to my concerns, then they can sit there. I know nurses don't let visitors in until the mother is ready. So that's the way it's going to happen. Still it stresses me.


Docshoney said...

My DH and I started out by preparing the people in our lives about our rules for the delivery of our twins about 6 weeks ago, they will be born Wed. Our scheduled c-sec. is for 12:00 no visitors until after 4 pm if we are ready for them. DH's parents are not even coming until the next evening. The first 4 days we are home we will not be accepting visitors, period. We really want family time, everyone has been very understanding, of course they know how stubborn DH and I are so they don't even attempt to argue. My MIL makes me crazy because she keeps telling me how much she can't wait to hold them. She can't wait!? She's not the one that went through everything we did to get them. I'm blessed with a very strong DH that has no problem telling people no even/especially his own family. I wish you much luck. I truly hope that people abide by your wishes and DH backs you up 100%.

Tracy said...

I know exactly what you mean. Just thinking about delivery day makes me stress out. I think we'll have to have a plan of attack, and prepare our parents in advance, otherwise they'll have expectations that we won't be able to meet...

Ariella said...

My sis's BIG regret with her 2nd baby was not enought bonding time before people started showing up. SO you have everyright to be concerned. You also have the right to refuse visitors and I HIGHLY suggest it, since obviously you want to bond first. I will hope and pray you get the dilivery and postpartum care you diserve and want. ((((HUGS))))

Kristen said...

I think your worries are completely understandable. I would talk to family and friends, if I were you! ;-) This is, afterall, the biggest moment of your life at this time!!!

Patty H. said...

I'm sure your nurses and doctor will understand if you refuse visitors for a while. You can try talking to your family first, and if they seem uncooperative, just warn them that you won't be seeing anyone until the later set of visiting days. These are your babies, you have the right to bond with them. If people get mad or call you selfish-so what? Tell them yes, you are selfish, you have been waiting far too long for this for someone to come in and call the shots for you.

Please do this for yourself. Don't let pushy people ruin this for you, hun.